Tuesday, 5October 2021
Emotional Struggle Context
There’s a gulf of difference between the strange feeling of elation on Day 275 (2 October) and today’s massive emotional struggle is vast. I don’t know whether it is from the effects of the vaccine or because people around me are planning their retirement.
When you begin nearing the end of your working life, everyone around you of a similar age is making retirement plans. Up until recently, I had been blissfully working. Of course, I knew retirement was around the corner and had a tentative plan in place for what I was going to do in it. It’s part of the reason I began the website. What I hadn’t prepared for was everyone talking about it affecting me.
I tend to get an idea and run with it, which is why it was dangerous for me to begin thinking of retirement when I need to work for another three years before it is even a thing.
One of the most important things to consider was activity post-work; the other was income. So many people, I have heard, are okay being retired for six months and then struggle to keep themselves entertained. When it comes to finances, if you are no longer earning, you are drawing down on funds designed to last you until you ‘shuffle off this mortal coil’ (William Shakespeare, Hamlet).
Maybe it was a combination of the contrast of the joy, the retirement talk and an overcast day causing the emotional struggle. But whatever it is, I know this feeling too shall pass! Thank goodness!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Emotional Struggle Analysis
Carryover Cards
One card carried over from yesterday; Integration moved from Recent Past to Outcome.
Cross
The elation and humility of Existence in the Distant Past led to the Recent Past’s feeling of Celebration opening up today’s (Now) Possibilities. The Source influences the idea of more ideas and opportunities.
However, the Goal of today was on making sure things get done “properly”. It’s like in the card Morality, showing correctly as having the fun removed from it. Alas, the lack of fun described my emotional struggle today.
I can just “play it by ear”, which in some cases is far from “reading a music sheet”, and take it from Moment to Moment in Future Energy.
Base
Despite the emotional struggle, the cards suggest that I’m feeling abundant enough for Sharing.
On the other hand, Other’s Views are of me carrying The Burden. Perhaps it’s the perception, which I may have encouraged, that I haven’t planned for my retirement? It could be true.
In the meantime, Hopes & Fears has me hoping for Intensity’s return – or simply a return of energy and spriteliness will do. Conversely, the Intensity magnifies the emotional struggle (fear). 😟
Finally, the Integration card is in the Outcome position and seems to indicate the merging of moods blending today’s struggle with Day 275‘s elation to form a happy medium.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Tarot Layouts per month
