Sunday, 15 August 2021
Anniversary Context
In 2005, my husband and I met on the Perisher Valley ski field today. We consider it our meeting anniversary. Like all such arrangements, we see it as fated to be. Circumstances threw us together. Initially, it was just a polite sharing of a T-bar. But when we separated at the top, little did we know that it was likely to be the last time we were ever to depart as strangers.
After separating, we went our separate ways. I went to the left, and Mark went to the right. I had decided to ski to the next T-bar along toward steeper terrain. And, as fate would have it, so did he. Skiing at the same pace, we bumped into each other in the “Singles” line at the bottom of that T-bar.
I’ll quickly cover for those who are unaware of ski field T-bar and chairlift efficiency strategies. You see, the aim is to get as many people up the mountain as soon as possible. The goal allows for the maximum number of runs down the hill, thus increasing your skiing enjoyment.
One of the best parts of skiing is being able to glide down the hill with the wind on your face, yelling “whee!”. Or if you’re a beginner on a beginner slope, “Out ta da way. Whee! Oops! Oooh. Ahhh. Up .. U… Phew!”, as you regain balance on whatever snow-sliding device you’ve chosen.
Now, back to the story. Ah, yes. Getting people up the mountain is a tricky business. There are chairlifts for two, three, four and eight persons. There are very few three-seater chairlifts on the Australian ski fields. That means if you’re not part of a couple or family group who ski with the same skill, there will be times you’re skiing alone, aka single.
Moving People At Snowfields
Chairlifts personnel, or lifties, are at the beginning and end of chairlifts and T-bars to ensure everyone gets off and on without injury. Lifties also help people get to the next run quickly. Having four-person chairs travel up with one person at peak times isn’t practical or efficient.
So, they created a “singles” line. Singles are then paired or added to an odd grouping to form the number required to travel. Alternately, where no queue exists, solo skiers raise a hand and yell “single!”. Anyone also flying solo and who doesn’t mind sharing will respond.
When it comes to T-bars, skiers will typically prefer to travel with another skier. Not being a snowboarder, I cannot speak to what a snowboarder might want as to T-bar travel. The other thing skiers prefer when travelling on T-bars is having someone of similar height; it helps balance.
As opposed to chairlifts, you don’t sit on T-bars, nor can you put all your weight on them. It’s very much Newton’s law. For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. The amount of weight you can put on the T-bar depends on the angle of the slope. For example, if you’re on the flat, you simply need to be able to stand up and let the T-bar pull you along.
The T-bar is T shaped. One person leans on one side of the T and the other on the other side. The person on the left can put the right hand on the T upright, and the person on the right the reverse. If you have one person on the T-bar, it feels lopsided, and when you go up a steep, things can become more awkward. Not impossible, but it’s more pleasant to have a balancing weight on the other side.
The Romance
At the second T-bar, I went to yell ‘”single” and saw a familiar ski-jacket from the last T-bar. I asked if he didn’t mind going up with me again since our “bum differential” was similar. This time we discovered we were both skiing on our own. Mark didn’t know Perisher, and I offered to spend the afternoon taking him around the mountain.
The afternoon skiing with someone about the same level was enjoyable. When the day was over, we agreed to catch up the following day for more skiing. On day three, we met again and went to dinner for my birthday.
It wasn’t simple to stay in touch since we didn’t live in the same state, I lived 1,500 kilometres north, and he was 1,000 kilometres south. At first, I thought it was simply a vacation friendship with the plan to each head, once again, our separate ways.
The best thing about that frame of mind was the usual fears about my appearance and actions went out the window. Self-consciousness took a backseat. If I wasn’t going to see this person again after the vacation, I was simply going to be myself. And if being myself wasn’t what he was after, it didn’t matter. That’s a win-win for me.
So, when do you start counting a day as an anniversary? Is it the first time you lay eyes on each other? Hmmm, lay eyes. Is that rugged up in ski gear or at dinner? Or was it sometime later when we finally caught up outside of the vacation? It’s a personal preference.
For us, it’s 15 August. Hmmm, today is sixteen years since we first met. The funny thing is, it doesn’t seem that long ago, for which I’m glad. It means I still enjoy his company.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Anniversary Analysis
Carryover Cards
One card carried over from yesterday; The Dream moved from Goal to Outcome.
Cross
Politics was happening in the Distant Past with friends who could not join me on this day in 2005 to go skiing. One friend had short notice to move across the country, another was settling her house purchase, and another had to look after a sick family member.
These distant Politics contributed to the Travelling we’re doing now for our anniversary. Anniversaries allows Clinging to the Past, bringing with them a sense of longing and nostalgia, which is the current Influence. The purpose (Goal) of the travel is to embrace Laziness. Not for too long, mind. Just long enough to gain therapeutic value from it.
And, of course, Consciousness forms the overall awareness of the situation to plan a trip away in the first place (Recent Past).
The reward for effort in preparing for a vacation is Exhaustion (Future Energy).
Base
The Fool embodies romantic notions and fosters the untarnished wide-eyed Feeling associated with the leap of faith. It is what doing something special for someone else is about, that making a fool of oneself.
Silence is in the Others’ Views position, and perhaps on the surface, I appear outwardly calm and at peace with myself. Since Silence is associated with the number 17, and 17 is my birthdate, people see me as me (see Day 225).
Creativity sits in the Hopes & Fears position, and it can be an expression of love. Osho describes it in this way, “Creativity is the quality that you bring to the activity you are doing” (p.9). Love is an activity, and I don’t simply mean on a sexual level either. I hope to bring quality to our relationship, indeed, to all my relationships. Conversely, I fear that I have no way of knowing whether it measures up – but that’s not the point of Creativity, is it?
The Outcome is The Dream. Hmmm, it’s the card of fairy tale romances or seeing the world through the eyes of one without facing the reality of being alone. A relationship is a way of avoiding facing that fact. Maybe then the anniversary is a way of helping us avoid that aloneness. Perhaps, I might explore that concept tomorrow. We’ll see. 🙈
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- We were going to go Skiing in New Zealand, Day 170
