Tuesday, 3 August 2021
Keyboard Context
I’ve spoken several times about technology (Day 118) and how it can interrupt a day that’s flowing smoothly. The USB hub died today, and the laptop I’m using only has two USB ports. While the computer has a trackpad and a keyboard, I’m not used to using either. For me, there’s no substitute for a mouse and a keyboard.
Working from home for extended periods, I prefer to keep the laptop monitor elevated and operating as a second screen. When I used the laptop keyboard, I invariably hit the trackpad and then spent most of my day cursing about correcting every sentence from typos.
I’ve been meaning to buy a Bluetooth keyboard-mouse combo, which would allow me to use the phone, mouse and keyboard without lugging the docking station home – or in this week’s situation, going in to work to collect said docking station from carrying home.
Keyboard Hunting
So, I jumped onto the Officeworks website and looked at keyboards. Rather than wait for delivery, I thought I would “click and collect”, believing this to be a faster option. You know, grab an item off the shelf, send a text message to the customer saying, “please collect”. I wasn’t expecting to have to collect it the next day, which from experience, is the same as getting it delivered.
Not what I expected, seeking to cancel the order within one minute of receiving the text, the website had a “senior’s moment” when you typed the word cancel into the search “bar”. As its response was “502 bad gateway”. It was time to call the “hotline”. It might be a hotline for the people answering calls, but it was a “coldline” from a customer perspective”. After ten minutes, I gave up and thought I would try my luck just heading to the store.
The plan was to collect another keyboard off the shelf, and when the ordered one arrived tomorrow, return it. The helpful cashier advised me to do as much. It turns out the store didn’t stock the keyboard I’d ordered, which is why I had to wait a day for it to come from the warehouse or another store. Undeterred, I’d been considering other keyboard options and selected one of those instead. Humph.
Back at the counter, the same cashier asked how I’d paid for the original keyboard online. PayPal. Her eyes became apologetic behind the mask as she recited the PayPal enforced refund process, meaning I would need to call the hotline to retrieve my funds. My face drooped, and I decided to return the keyboard and do the unthinkable; head back into the office and collect the office one until tomorrow’s delivery.
Passive-aggressiveness and Redirection
At this point in the proceedings, there was a bundle load of guilt. Guilt because I’d spent time away from work on a futile errand, which turned out it could have waited – more guilt at inconveniencing the cashier. I disliked my blessedly short burst of passive-aggressive whine at the cashier, who could do nothing about my situation. While she could’ve asked the payment question before I went hunting for the keyboard, none of this would have happened if I’d just showed some self-control.
I would have selected a cheaper keyboard if I had exercised my usual patience, logic, and clarity of thought. But no, I had to pick pretty over functional, causing the whole mess.
Piling guilt on top of guilt, I felt guilty about being guilty – I bet Grammarly will pick up that I’ve used guilty too many times in the sentence! Oh, onto the analysis.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Keyboard Analysis
Carryover Cards
Two cards carried over from yesterday; The Master moved from Feelings to Hopes & Fears, Guilt moved from Hopes & Fears to Outcome.
Cross
When the keyboard indicated the hub had died, it seemed like the way to fix the issue simply flowed from Moment to Moment. However, influencing Moment to Moment is Mind, and the Mind complicates matters because it overthinks the emotions that are running rampant.
The Goal was a simple choice comparing keyboards (Comparison); this area was also affected by Mind. The Distant Past, such activity was easy to do and once pursued would give a sense of Completion. More recently (Recent Past), Rebirthing the ego, expecting everything to go my way when I wanted it to, returned.
Fighting the ego, together with the running around for the keyboard, caused Exhaustion in Future Energy.
Base
My Feelings about going from Moment to Moment was that of a Thunderbolt. Especially since Mind got involved and then it was a case of old expectations applied to new circumstances.
Others’ Views are Existence, meaning what I’m experiencing is simply part of living and living everyday life. It’s a minor issue and was out of proportion. (This is probably true).
Hopes & Fears has the card of The Master, which, although today appears like a lot of nothing, the glimmer of learning in the day is the way I was able to pull back from going into a complete passive-aggressive whine at the cashier. When it comes to today’s hope, it is that I showed enough restraint to contain my frustration long enough to process it without directing it at innocent bystanders.
The fear is that I didn’t control the frustration, and it caused a mild energy drain on both the cashier and me.
Finally, and to no one’s surprise, it’s Guilt is the Outcome. I’ve gone into the aspects of how it affected me in today’s context, and I think we’ll leave it there.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
