Monday, 26 July 2021
Visible Context
Work from home or families who have a mix of distances can have challenges, mainly to appear to be visibly contributing to the team.
The topic on my mind today is the strange need in us to see people “doing” things or simply being visible. And whether we like it or not, being seen as working or caring is essential in the “work from home” COVID world. That visibility or lack thereof can affect our reputations and limit us from getting things we want.
We don’t want or like to judge people on appearances, but we do nonetheless. The perception may not matter to you, and therefore you may think you don’t judge. In reality, we do form opinions and make decisions to care or not care about particular perceptions. A lack of visible, tangible output leads to perceptions of laziness when it’s not the case.
These are expectations that apply both at home and at work. When you’re part of a team or a family, not being visible in pulling your weight can cause quiet resentment. No one in my sphere likes confrontation. Some family members then resort to passive-aggressive behaviour to try and communicate their expectations.
Others might resort to bullying and perhaps a little passive-aggressiveness, in the hope of, as my mum would say, “putting a bomb under you”. If it is repetitive, although well-meaning, it can be crippling for the recipient. In some instances, it can cause the recipient to dig their heels, and avoiding confrontation escalates to the next highest authority.
There are those members of the family who want to stir the pot and walk away. For these same members, there’s hell to pay if they’re in someone else’s cookpot and get jibed themselves about a lack of visibility or output.
Impacts of Non-visibility
So, what do you do when a family member struggles with the fanfare, and you’re the only one to whom they will communicate and respond? To you, the person is contributing and visible. For a while, you become their PR persona, justifying and defending their actions, knowing even a tiny part of you wishes they would just be a little more visible. After all, you’re not the only other member of the family.
By the way, this is just a reflection on past events. Sometimes, something triggers the sequence of thought, and I follow it. If I’m thinking of it when I write my blog, then I write about it. Voila! Visibility is important even if, to you, it seems like an empty gesture.
Now, I know the counterargument if you keep pandering to those who want visibility, you’re continuing to feed the habit, and that’s true. But I don’t know how to break the cycle. At this point, the argument switches to people being true to themselves, but if it stresses the person you’re communicating with and forcing them to defend you, you’re robbing them of their right to be themselves.
It is putting the reputation they want to generate at risk as well. The contact you like might not be visible too. For instance, if the person says they’ve talked to you about a family event, and you don’t show or make an attempt at awareness, you’re hurting them.
Taking the philosophical approach that it’ll work out, in the end, doesn’t suit the people who want to see action. I wish I had the answer, but I suspect even having a tough conversation would be challenging.
It’s funny how this can relate to the work environment as well as the home one.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Visible Analysis
Carryover Cards
One card carried over from yesterday; The Dream moved from Feelings to Outcome.
Cross
The day starts with the Goal of Totality and Compromise in the Now influenced by Experiencing. When you start the day with one direction, and it changes due to life simply happening, you Compromised and the Totality you wanted to dedicate to your original task. Having to deal with visibility and whether people think I’m working at it is always a challenge. No news is good news .
From the Silence of mind in Distant Past to Completion in Recent Past, they are making way for Now’s Compromise and Sorrow in Future Energy.
Silence is keeping to oneself, and trusting others to hold themselves accountable was an approach I valued in the Distant Past. When activities finish, expectations and visibility change, and that’s just part of Experiencing life. With modifications, there’s a sense of loss when a Compromise occurs; sometimes, it’s like selling a part of your soul, and Sorrow ensues.
Base
My Feelings are Conditioning taints the perspective I and others have of some situations, and these are possibly outmoded.
Others’ Views is me experiencing a lot of physical changes, impacting my typical calm and is reflected by the card of Thunderbolt.
Hopes & Fears has the card of Sharing. Sharing as hope is I’d like to encourage some tolerance and compassion, and I fear that my hands are tied because I cannot say anything to alleviate the tension.
The Outcome is The Dream and the illusion everything will just blow over since The Dream was the card in yesterday’s Hopes & Fears spot, and it moved to the Outcome. I could surmise, yesterday’s fear has come to fruition in some way.
It was a wish to have things blow over without intervention, but The Dream indicates my perspective has rose-coloured glasses. It looks like the philosophical approach isn’t going to work, being visible in resolving issues also has a fine line when you have confidentiality to consider.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Links
