Thursday, 22 July 2021
Deception Context
I spent my day at the hairdresser, getting part two of the lighter hair colour. The hair colour is the beginning of me stopping myself from deception and learning to let go of youth and begin to embrace getting older. There are other reasons for colouring your hair apart from ageing. Sometimes words or phrases stay in your mind until you get time to look at them. The hairdresser’s salon is the perfect place.
The thought in my mind today are the words uttered by S.N. Goenka (Vipassana advocate) during a meditation retreat, commenting that we’re always deceiving people, including ourselves.
He describes the colouring of your hair, wearing makeup, and other presentational things as attempting to mislead others about our age. True. Now that I think of it, it seemed focused on women. In truth, he may have rattled off a heap of male-related age deceiving techniques, and not being relevant to me, I tuned them out.
At the time, I agreed. Later, I wanted to look at the idea and assess it again with a clearer head, which is ironic because it’s the reason you go to a meditation retreat. Today is that day. Well, it’s the first pass at it. Chances are it will ruminate in my head.
Deception and Age
The age-old game of age deception has played since people have had vanity. Biblically, that’s probably when the snake told us to cover up our bits. Non-biblically, our bits are vulnerable when exposed for extended periods and covering them up prevents said bits from getting hurt or weather-affected.
Sure, makeup is a disguise technique; from an instinctive perspective, it’s hormonally pleasing or part of some animals’ mating ritual. But nature gives us subtleties to communicate aging, but we want to delay it just a fraction more. Is it a bid to attract a mate for procreation, even when its capacity has all but gone? No, of course not. But the shackles of habit and the society we choose to live in keep us bound to the image nonetheless.
If you believe, want, or like beauty and elegance adorning and decorating yourself, you may not be deceiving yourself. It’s all a matter of the surrounding jungle. The question to ask yourself is if you’re at home or were out in the wilderness without needing to worry about going out hunting and on your own, would you still go through the effort? If the answer is yes, you’re not deceiving yourself. If the answer is no, chances are you’re not entirely doing it for yourself.
We Have the Tools
We’re deceiving ourselves and others, yet we’re aware that we’re doing it. So what? Let’s look at a dictionary’s definition of ‘deceive’, “deliberately cause (someone) to believe something that is not true, especially for personal gain”. Is gaining notice such a terrible thing? Yes, respect should be a given. Comments by my mother, other aged folks, particularly women, have mentioned, at times, they feel invisible unless they cause a fuss or scene.
Watching Netflix’s Jackie and Frankie (Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin), a fictional television commentary on aging and its complications, supports the stories and means it’s not just my mother’s circle that encounters this type of reaction. So, it’s not personal gain but recognition of existence. Taken to the extreme, it’s a survival mechanism.
Looking further down the dictionary’s definition of ‘deceive’, there’s ‘deceive oneself’, which is a failure to admit to oneself that something is true (Apple Dictionary). I’m splitting hairs, but we’re acknowledging the hair colour to cover or blend greys in a bid to be recognised or accepted.
Taking a fatalistic approach, we found the tools; we’re meant to have them. As a species, humankind are likely to use things in ways they’re not intended to be used – so, there is that.
Summary
For today, while Goenka is correct that we’re not ‘a la naturale’, I think there’s more behind it. The deception he’s talking about might be the deception in the justification. Now there’s a trippy concept!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Deception Analysis
Carryover Cards
No cards carried over from yesterday.
Cross
Playfulness is in the Now The Source is its influencer. When going to the hairdresser, my mood becomes playful, or I look forward to the “drift time” to be me. Captive for a short time in a good way. Because The Source is the influence card, my Playfulness centres around something at a core level, deception and hair colour, being a case in point.
Letting Go is the Goal, and while I mention the change in hair colour is a letting go of previous hair colours making me think I’m youthful, I don’t believe this ‘Letting Go’ relates to that topic. It’s more a Letting Go of my dislike of the new colour. For the reaction to part one, refer to Day 147 for details.
Once I had gotten used to the colour change following Day 147 (Distant Past), an Awareness of my fondness for the colour began. But despite this Awareness, the Recent Past still has me Clinging to the Past; maybe the deception worked too well.
Moving from my current Playfulness into Future Energy is The Rebel. And I’m going to be honest, apart from The Rebel being doing things my way regardless of others’ opinions, I have nothing else to add.
Base
Above, I mentioned “drift time” (Day 029) which is akin to Going with the Flow; it’s a non-rigid approach to accomplishing a task. Going with the Flow is a perfect Feelings complement to Playfulness.
Others’ Views is that I’m committed to changing my hair colour; the card of Totality reflects this view.
Hopes & Fears is that a new look I hope opens me up to Possibilities for an image change. Yet, I fear a look change and its Possibilities because I might buy clothes.
Finally, the Outcome is Fighting, which might indicate that I’ll punch anyone if they don’t like it (this will remain a mental image in my head – not anyone’s actual face).
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
