Monday, 19 July 2021
Doubtful Context
How do you overcome doubts? Is it necessary to overcome doubts? While I’m a fan of doubts because it means you’re questioning. Questioning is the thirst for knowledge, understanding and promotes change. But sometimes it would be wonderful if something just “was”. And even being an advocate of mindfulness and meditation sometimes, I question it too.
It is the whole; if you meet the Buddha on the Road, kill him. Like in Day 199‘s lesson on reverse engineering, you need to work things out for yourself. Sure, you can have people console you and people you trust to advise you, but, in the end, the decision to accept the advice is up to you.
So, I don’t think there’s a way of overcoming doubts there’s just a way to try and manage them. Some doubts are more challenging to overcome than others; questions of an existential nature might be more complicated than wondering why you wore a particular pair of jeans.
Today, I doubted many things, from processes to systems, and it was frustrating. System updates to Photos on my Mac have distorted how the font I use on the image displays. Every day, I use the same font and size, crop the photos the same way, yet on some days, the font is smaller, and other days it’s larger. At first, you doubt yourself rather than the system. You double-check everything, you reboot, but in the end, it’s the system.
It takes a lot of work to remove the doubt, to confirm you were doing the right thing all along. Have I then discovered that doubt requires more work than simply accepting? I guess it does. Doubt means you’re asking questions, then troubleshooting them through analysis, only to wind up at the very point you started.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Doubt Analysis
Carryover Cards
No cards carried over from yesterday.
Cross
Creativity is in the Now influenced by Ice-olation, and the Goal is Breakthrough. Wanting to do the right thing, from society’s views, Morality sits in the Distant Past. In the Recent Past, is Laziness resting on previous successes. The Future Energy of Abundance comes from Creativity.
Relating the above to my day, I was challenging a process I developed to improve upon it; this is Creativity. Ice-olation is the Influencer and, in this case, is the cold, reserved and judgemental element inhibiting Creativity and the change process. You could say it has frozen Creativity.
Intuitively knowing this might be the case, I sought a Breakthrough situated in the Goal position. Breaking through the doubt to a moment of certainty.
In the Distant Past, wanting to adhere to the right thing (Morality) inhibited Creativity. Perhaps, at the time, it was the right thing to do. It’s easy to judge the past from a higher viewpoint. Even though the process was clunky, it worked; relying on it to continue in a changing environment knowing it needed adjustment, was my Laziness in the Recent Past.
Maybe the Future Energy card of Abundance implies changing the process is beneficial and allows for a better workflow giving all involved more time back in their day.
Base
Doubting has Feelings of Exhaustion. Exhaustion isn’t just at a physical level, but it is more in my mind, just wanting rest.
Look at that; it’s Intensity in Others’ Views. Others’ Views are of me pushing myself too hard, and they’re unsure of my direction. Others just know I’m putting a lot of energy toward it.
One of my fears created by feelings of Exhaustion is that I will snap (Fighting) at people trying to be civil and when I’m tired. I hope my exposure to others while I’m sensitive is limited. Pick the wrong topic and boom!
With Stress as the Outcome, my fear might become a reality. Some poor unsuspecting soul will pass by and ask a question I don’t know the answer to and will receive a defensive response. Oh, “I pity the fool”, B.A. Baracus, The A-Team. Of course, nothing is definite, and it may not come to pass. 😄
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
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