Wednesday, 23 June 2021
Sibling Rivalry Context
Talking to Tabya about my New Zealand (NZ) ski trip was exciting – Day 170. It became disturbing when sibling rivalry was worse than I thought. Tabya mentioned she had lived in NZ. My comments went along the lines of, “Wow! What a fantastic experience to live in NZ!”. Tabya agreed it was impressive and beautiful, and she had lived on the North Island.
The discussion took on a darker tone when Tabya mentioned New Zealanders don’t like Australians. “Really?” was my response began, follow up with “it’s in that joking but seriously competitive way, right?”. To which Tabya replied with “no. It’s more like hatred. Don’t get me wrong, New Zealanders love Australian money, but there’s an underlying resentment as well.”. I was seriously dismayed.
Rivalry from the Beginning
Ever since the early days, New Zealanders and Australians have been kind of siblings. Even the rivalry for who is the older could generate some debate. For instance, the first European to land in Australia was Willem Janszoon in 1606. He didn’t do much and left. Dirk Hartog left after leaving a plate with his name on it in 1616. William Dampier landed in Australia in 1688, documented some flora and fauna and left. In 1769 James Cook landed, and Australia was born to the British motherland.
Abel Tasman landed in New Zealand in 1642, had a look around, didn’t get along with the Māori natives and left. In 1770 James Cook landed and began negotiations with the British motherland. New Zealand is the leaner and fitter sibling, while Australia is the larger and older other. Since the first couple of visitors to Australian shores don’t really count and Abel Tasman’s visit to New Zealand is also a non-plus event, we’ll use Captain Cook‘s visit as the start point. This way, I can say Australia is the older 😏.
Rivalry to the Max!
So, you see, even about the landing dates it could get competitive. When it comes to sports on the world stage, Australia punches above its weight. If that’s the case for Australia, then it’s even more impressive with the number of victories New Zealand has. The sibling rivalry, I thought, was limited to sports.
It was undoubtedly the case when a former boss of mine would receive phone calls from across the pond from his NZ counterpart, ribbing him about the poor performance Australia put up in the latest: cricket, rugby, netball, the under three crying marathons, chip-eating, eye-blinking, dog show, ant race or whatever contest you can think of was on between the two countries. Likewise, my former boss would ring back when the reverse was true.
Note, I’ve taken some creative liberties with the events to give you an idea of how competitive it could get between the two. Nobody really wants to win the under three crying marathons!
The rivalry is well known; it’s even made it to Geography Now YouTube episodes; I can’t remember which one – so check out both Australia & New Zealand!
Sibling Rivalry Thoughts
This discussion made me think of sibling rivalry and what might make it happen. In one of the self-help books, I’d read that it’s all about energy, or more accurately, getting it. Getting attention manifests itself as attention-seeking. The theory went if we get someone’s attention, we get their energy or “power”.
The book went on to say how we needed to transition from the watchful attention our parents gave us as children to know how to obtain energy from the world around us. Getting power from beauty and existence as a whole; examples were from trees, plants, oceans, lakes, rivers, and animals were a transitionary stage from people to animals to nature.
I understand this notion when it comes to sibling rivalry; if I want the attention of my mother and my sister does likewise, and the other gets that attention, one of us might feel like they’re missing out. It’s where the FOMO (fear of missing out), jealousy, resentment come from and learning to become centred and mindful of when you seek validation reduces the dependence on other people’s attention.
An extension to seeking out energy from a different source other than your parents or friends is competition. You compete to win. Winning attracts attention which is synonymous with energy.
Another side effect of a competition is it makes competitors seek out improvements. Each party understands that it needs to come against a worthy adversary for it to feel successful. Without a worthy opponent, you can get lazy. Maybe this is why Australia and New Zealand do so well?
Conclusion
Of course, when you want to remember what book this all comes from, the book’s name escapes you (me). Maybe many books contained similar information, and I just smooshed it all together into my brain.
I’m also not sure how sibling rivalry would work with countries. Is it because Australia gets all the attention when eyes focus down-under because of its size and deadly animals when NZ is arguably proportionally just as accomplished without the fatal animals?
Does this mean Canada is the NZ to America? And is America the older sibling to Australia, who thinks they gave the middle finger to “mum” but is secretly still trying to win approval by showing how rich and happy they are to be living away from home? Nah… just playfully speculating.
In any case, I’m hoping Tabya is wrong, and it’s only a select few who feel this way, and it’s not pervasive and entrenched into the psyche. At the very least, I’m an Australian bringing in money 💰.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
No cards carried over from yesterday.
Cross
Politics is in the Now influenced by Integration. The layout of these two cards makes sense to me. Tabya’s comments took me aback and put a pinprick into a softened balloon (it doesn’t quite burst but begins to let the air out slowly).
Politics was the mask I wore to show this hadn’t quite affected me, and I was buying time to sort out my thoughts as I worked on integrating this new piece of information into my view of NZ. Hopefully, before my opinion deflated.
The Goal is Creativity. Blending new information into a worldview requires Creativity on how best to make it fit without losing the affection I have for the relationship between Australia and NZ.
In the Distant Past is Maturity and in the Recent Past is Patience. Being an adult means not succumbing to the emotions of what others have to say, even if you don’t like what it is they have said. The trick is to acknowledge the feelings. In the Distant Past, controlling my emotions at times like these is a lesson I’ve had to learn repeatedly, especially when I’m protective over something I believe.
Patience, I applied it to my circumstances. One of the things I was thinking was I would need to wait and see for myself when I reached NZ.
Possibly, predictably Comparison is in the Future Energy position. Thanks to the discussion, I will constantly watch anyone from NZ and compare them to what I’ve learned. And as we know, comparisons are unhelpful, for it gains me nothing but some wariness.
Base
So, what are my Feelings toward Politics which I seem to have in Abundance? Perhaps it’s the Maturity of knowing when not to react. After all, Tabya thought she was helping me.
Others’ Views has Participation. I see this card as participating in travel and acknowledging the information in the conversation without buying or rejecting it. In short, the jury’s out until I’ve visited.
Hopes & Fears has Clinging to the Past. This card in this position makes sense to me because I’m clinging to the warm fuzzy feeling of NZ and Australia being mutually respectful sibling rivals, both being fiercely competitive, knowing it will drive ourselves and make others better. It’s why I believe the two countries are so successful – we push each other – or so I hope. Fear is “please don’t let it be otherwise”.
Finally, the Outcome is Postponement, which I’ve been doing on posting this blog as I try to remember the books from which my thoughts came.
(published ten days later and still couldn’t remember!)
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Geography Now, Australia (Friendzone)
Geography Now, New Zealand (Friendzone)
