31 May 2021
Peddler of Hope Context
After 20 years the lotto lady retires from her indefatigable effort as our peddler of hope. If only she was able to provide us with more.
Today marks the day when the lotto lady at work retires. Lotto lady, aka Peddler of Hope, has tirelessly worked for her colleagues week-in and week-out, religiously collecting funds, going to the newsagent and placing our entries into the lucky dip of pooled money. On reflection, it’s been about 20 years of her doing this, always wishing us luck and asking us to cross our fingers.
Hmmm. The calculations on the amount of money the lotto lady collected from me at five dollars a week for 20 years equals about $5,200 – give or take a week. It’s a decent amount of money. Was it worth it? After all, I’m still working! The early retirement plan hasn’t quite worked out for any of the participants.
Now, somewhere I read (sorry, I couldn’t find where), giving money to the lotto is an affirmation reinforcing that you are poor. In a way, I guess that’s true; otherwise, you wouldn’t be putting money into a lotto syndicate in the first place. Guess that’s about to change since I will be gaining $5 per week from today onward.
Reasons to give to the Peddler of Hope
Yes, you could argue that I’m not lacking, which I’m not. The absence of five dollars a week, to me these days, is barely noticeable. So, why do I do it? All these years, a charity could have been receiving the same money from me. However, part of the reason was I got to see and catch up with a woman I liked once a month when I dropped off my funds. It was an opportunity to converse on her health, kids, work gossip, and how her retirement plans were going (well, the latter more recently).
Also, you may have noticed me referring to her as the Peddler of Hope; this is because perhaps one day I might discover that I have enough money to buy in the area we want to live in and live in the way we want to live. At the very least, in the way we imagine living in the area. There are also some aspirations I have regarding how I would like to spend excess money.
Now that my peddler of hope has retired, I will miss her, and my very best wishes go with her for a beautiful future full of health and happiness.
Peddler of Hope & Personal Guilt
For many years, guilt was my companion. The guilt was around me earning a good wage. I would often sabotage myself from better positions believing that being poor made me richer in spirit and heart. It’s that age-old dichotomy or false competition to have one means you can’t have the other. The sabotage played itself out as bitterness toward other people’s successes, and confelicity was difficult to muster.
Perhaps others feel similarly, especially those who enter the syndicate to win a big prize, believing that only the lucky get to have both. Personally, I think we all deserve happiness and riches because you can be rich and have enjoyment. Movies don’t usually show joy and rich because it doesn’t make for good storytelling.
When I resolved that you can have both, parts of my life changed. There are still moments of bitterness or resentfulness when I haven’t gotten a job (not all resolved yet). Then I went to see a kinesiologist to find out mentally where I might begin to determine whatever ailment I had at the time.
Thoughts on Kinesiology
Usually, I visit Wikipedia for general perspectives, but the thoughts on applied kinesiology “factualised”, invalidating the therapy. However, my experience didn’t align. After all, I did not seek out chiropractic or diagnostic help for any ailment, although there was a condition. My kinesiology visits had been on a more psychological-spiritual bent.
Because I believe the body reflects our mental and spiritual well-being, or at the very least, it provides clues to what might be going on in your head. So, if I have a body part playing up but not worthy, to my mind, of a doctor’s attention, I visit a kinesiologist. Let’s put it this way: my GP and I agree; I will first go to her with a plan of attack; she performs her assessment, then we agree, modify or do otherwise.
Rather than Wikipedia, part of the Victorian Government’s Better Health’s description is: “a kinesiology is a form of therapy that uses muscle monitoring (biofeedback) to look at imbalances that may be causing disease in the body.”. It further clarifies that kinesiology does not diagnose disorders. Happy with that!
My reason for visiting a kinesiologist is that I’m unable or unwilling to look at an issue during meditation or self-reflection. A good kinesiologist is a gentler psychologist. What I mean is before going to a psychologist, I try a kinesiologist. It’s kind of using the right tool for the right job approach. Using a psychologist is like buying an industrial strength cordless screwdriver from a specialist trade store to put together a piece of easy flat-pack furniture when a home-style screwdriver from the local hardware store would do the job.
Oops! Got carried away with that one; I hope it was helpful 😁.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
No cards carried over from yesterday today.
Cross
The Miser is in the Now influenced by Patience. Could this be me feeling possessive of the five dollars I gave to the lotto and am planning to put toward a charity?
Letting Go is in the Goal position and means I’m sad to see the lotto lady leave. That’s a chapter in my life disappearing. In the Distant Past is Existence, where recognising your uniqueness is all you need to understand.
Recent Past’s Sharing card leads to a Future Energy of Understanding.
Base
My Feelings on The Miser card shows up in the card of The Fool. My initial reaction to the two cards is that I would be a fool to get miserly over the five dollars, although I’m not one hundred per cent sure this is the interpretation I would die by.
Others’ Views is the card of Thunderbolt. Thunderbolt is a dramatic physical change; perhaps it’s the 20-year routine changing and being noticed.
Hopes & Fears has the card of Courage. On the inside, I’m hoping I have Courage to move forward in my way without having someone do the running around for my “hope”. My fear is freezing in indecision or not having the Courage to pursue a path with consciousness – fundamentally, just ignoring it.
The Outcome position has Flowering, which is about embracing who I am and blossoming. Flowering echoes the Sharing card sitting in Recent Past, and Flowering is what needs to happen before you can share.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Kinesiology, Better Health, Victorian State Government, Australia, Published Online
Word Definition:
Confelicity: joy in another person’s happiness. Susie Dent, Twitter feed, 13 Mar 2021
