1 May 2021
Comfortable Friend Context
Grabbing an opportunity amid easing COVID restrictions, we caught up with comfortable friends. An AFL game brings out the best & worst.
It’s Saturday, and in Queensland, it’s a long weekend. Labour Day is celebrated in Queensland on the first Monday of May 1912 since 1912, when the eight-hour working day came into its inception. The eight-hour day was about breaking the day into three parts: work, recreation, and rest (sleep).
Celebrating Labour Day meant we could visit my friend, Michelle. COVID restrictions in some form or another had prevented us from catching up since 2020. At present, we’re free from most COVID constraints, and we took the opportunity to head her way and catch up.
Long Time, No See
It was wonderful seeing my friend again. You know, every time I write those words “see my friend again”, I think of the movie Shawshank Redemption (1994). In this context, it has even more meaning as Michelle, and I have a fondness for the film. We’ve been comfortable friends for many years.
Anyway, the Shawshank Redemption is well written and directed; and it’s challenging to go past this movie as my number one recommendation for people to watch. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favour and find a legal link and watch it.
Another thing that reminds me of friendship or inspires me to maintain some of the friend connections – although I’m really quite rubbish at connecting if they’re not in my immediate view. Luckily, my friends are like this too, and we pretty much where we left off when we see each other again. If too long a time happens, it takes a bit catching up like Betty, and you drift apart. The time apart hasn’t changed most times, and the nature of the relationship simply picks up where it left off.
Michelle and I have known each other for a long time; we’re almost sisters. Michelle was there when my younger sister wasn’t old enough to be there, and that creates a bond of its own. We’re comfortable friends simply being in each other’s presence without the need for discussion. Of course, if we’ve spent time apart and the catch-up time is short, there isn’t much opportunity to enjoy silent companionship.
Comfortable Friends and The Game
One of my challenges today was the playful competitiveness between her husband’s AFL team and mine. While he and I get along, I’m unsure if we’re at the comfortable friend stage yet. He supports Geelong, and I support Sydney. Geelong is in great shape and has managed their players well not to drop out of the top eight (the top eight go to the “finals”). Playing finals gives your team the ultimate victory. Sydney, on the other hand, has injuries to key players.
Sydney is playing some great footy (AFL), but they’re a young team, and youngsters make mistakes and get injured as a realistic supporter. Up against a more experienced side like Geelong, Sydney was unlikely to win.
Yet, win, they did. Unfortunately, the win got marred by a couple of controversial decisions made in the game’s dying seconds. There was a Geelong unpaid mark where Jeremy Cameron, the story is in The Age.
Michelle’s husband was a tremendously good sport throughout the game, too. If the result had been the reverse, I think I would’ve cried “robbed” at every moment (even though I would have been secretly happy Sydney was competitive). Stu handled the loss with good grace, and I’d say I’m confident we’re becoming comfortable friends.
Before I published the post, I looked up news articles and found the AFL had issued an apology to Geelong for the calls. At least that much.
Even though I am glad for the Swans to win, it’s not the way I’d like the win to happen.
Let’s see what the cards have to say!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Comfortable Friend Analysis
Carryover Cards
Two cards carried over from yesterday: Inner Voice moved from Distant Past to Others’ Views, and The Miser moved from Future Energy to Hopes & Fears.
Cross
Awareness is in the Influence position and sits over The Rebel, who is in the Now position. Awareness is like waking up from a dreaming state. The Rebel is about the strong direction and male energy, and a unique approach. In this case, I think it might be referring to my friend’s husband’s team’s loss. The Awareness in me is about realising his excellent sportsmanship.
No-thingness is in the Goal position, with Harmony forming its basis in the Distant Past. Indicating our past Harmony would benefit the unknown outcome. You see, before this occasion, I was unsure how our watching our teams play each other would pan out. Hence, the Goal of No-thingness. No-thingness is representing, in this case, the “unknown”.
The Recent Past position showed both he and I were receptive to (based on the foundations of Distant Past) working with each other in Harmony. This Receptivity allowed for the Future Energy to become Comparison. Under the circumstances, Comparison is a positive sign for growth. The Comparison between Stu’s handling of the situation provided me with an inspiration model.
Base
In Feelings/ Immediate Future position is the card of Maturity. Overall, I felt I handled the situation quite well and was surprised by how sympathetic I felt towards Stu.
Others’ Views were seeing a connection by me to my Inner Voice.
Hopes & Fears has The Miser, which has moved from the Future Energy position to becoming today’s Hope & Fears. It’s a neat transition as Future Energy can take the form of Hopes & Fears. Selfishly, I cling to the hope the decision does not have future repercussions for our teams. Both teams are side by side on the competition ladder at the moment. By extension, my fear is the impact later in the competition, spoiling any potential victory there for the taking.
Finally, Understanding is in the Outcome position. One of the reasons I enjoyed the AFL compared to other “footballs” is the ease with which teams handed over the ball. For me, this indicated great sportsmanship on display (later, I found out there was a penalising rule for not handing the ball over immediately). The ball was simply handed over without fuss, fanfare, or griping. Children watching the sport learn to let go if something doesn’t go their way. This positive conditioning was on display today with my friend’s husband’s behaviour.
The incident also helped me gain a better understanding of the person my friend married.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Queensland Labour Day, https://www.qt.com.au/news/significance-labor-day-queensland/4008328/, last viewed 4 May 2021
- Luhrman B. 1997, Everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen) (aka The Sunscreen Song), Youtube, last viewed 4 May 2021
- Luhrman B, 1999, Everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen) aka The Sunscreen Song – remix Youtube with links to Sunscreen research for and against, last viewed 4 May 2021
