Day 089 – Making Mistakes

Welcome to Day 89!

During a discussion, I found out the recent outbreak had some unforeseen consequences which left me feeling crestfallen.  Here’s an extract: “Queensland Health said on Saturday [27 Mar 21] night one of the men, aged 26, held a house party in Strathpine while he was waiting on his test result, despite instructions to self-isolate. But on Sunday morning, Queensland police contradicted that advice and said only five people had been directed to quarantine” (The Guardian).  If you’re reaction to someone holding said party under these circumstances is disappointed, then I’m with you. 

Resolving the disappointment in the 26-year-old man faded pretty quickly once, I reminded myself that we’re all human, we’re only young once and we all make and are entitled to make mistakes.  Even sometimes, those mistakes may wind up being detrimental to ourselves or others.  Of course, I get mad, I’m not immune to mistakes.  Reading my posts is evidence of errors in judgement and mistakes. Ultimately, after a rant within my own personal space, and get on with my life. 

This isn’t where the crest-falling happened though, it was when I discovered the person’s Facebook had between the time, when the first incorrect statement was made that a 25-person house party was held to when it was corrected to five (presumably something like his partner and two of his mates and their partners – three couples).  The man’s Facebook page had apparently attracted a slew of death threats.  That’s right, death threats!  It wasn’t just at him (as if that were anywhere near okay – which it’s not even for the 25 people house party), the death threats apparently extended to include his parents, other family members.  It was so bad that he had to close his business.  Really?  Even if it were true, it’s still unacceptable.

Putting aside the seriousness of the threat and being on the receiving end of such a threat from people you don’t know.  That’s just what makes it scary, isn’t it?  Not knowing the people making the threats.   For the most part you can probably assume, it’s like when my sister and I were kids and we said stuff like “I could kill you”! Usually thrown at me after I pinched the last of her allocated portion of chocolate.  Because my sister said it, the threat was not taken seriously.  If my sister were to say it to someone at her work, even if they purchased the last of the chocolate from the vending tray the person might go home a little nervous.   

Oh yeah, there are so many reasons not to act on your frustration at someone’s public humiliating mistake. Firstly, it takes effort to track down the person. Posting it is only adding to your own pain later.  Sure, there’s a momentary rush as you “told him so!”.  How do those people feel now that it was only five other people were there?  Personally, I’m hoping they feel a little embarrassed by the jumping the gun. 

Another reason not to get involved, is that you don’t know the full circumstances you weren’t there.  Chances are you don’t even know anyone that was at the party, isn’t that akin to getting involved in someone else’s business?  Also, if you’re washing/ sanitising hands, social distancing and wearing a facemask and those around you are doing likewise, you’re unlikely to get COVID and unlikely to spread it and therefore the outbreak will be short-lived, why are you mad? 

The bitter truth is, at some point we’re going to be the idiot on the road. We’re human.  Being human requires compassion and understanding of ourselves.  At some point everyone who drives will be that idiot driver.  When I’ve mentioned this to people, some have been quite indignant at my statement, claiming emphatically they were never an idiot on the road.  Only to describe a circumstance, ten minutes later of taking a wrong turn and driving headlong the wrong way into oncoming traffic.  All those people seeing this car coming toward them were probably thinking – what an idiot! 

Depending on who you are will depend on how often you play idiot on the road.  When you do thank the majority of people who on that day are on that day and most days are not playing idiot. They’re playing the role you too play most of the time, that of a skilled, alert and patient person.  Enough so, to cope with the “oops! I’ve got to get off at the next exit…, I’m so sorry for cutting you off!” moments or the “honey, can you read that house number?”  “Ah sweetheart, the car behind you wants to pass.” moments.  

Don’t get me wrong, you’re entitled to get a mad in the privacy of your own home over someone you don’t knows’ mistake.  If you know the person and are directly affected, you’ll probably get madder, enough for a death threat? I hope not.  As a result of this outbreak, my mother had to cancel her trip to visit me over Easter and celebrate her 80^th with friends.  

Why am I disappointed in the people making the death threats, if the world is my mirror too?  Because I get mad too.  The death threats are an extreme version of my frustration at not being able to see loved ones over Easter after a year of not seeing them.  COVID has robbed us and we’re over it.  Someone making a mistake 10 metres from the finish line hurts us inside too.  It’s the frustration of being powerless and then acting out which makes you think you’re going to get some power.  Reality is, the horse has bolted.  What matters is what you do from this moment forward; are you going to be a grown-up or are you going to act out like an undisciplined child.  Okay. Do the child at home thing, if you must let it play out in full stomp and hissy fit, once you’re done become the adult again and tackle the new now. 

How does the cycle change?  How do we stop ourselves acting out against someone we perceive of as reckless, mistake ridden, human?  Show yourself some compassion.  Be kind to yourself.  To be kind to yourself, you need to know yourself.  To know yourself, observe what makes you happy and what makes you angry, and am I like that? 

Let’s see what the cards have to say!