22 March 2021
Context
Welcome to Day 081!
Last night was a bit unsettling, mainly because my husband awoke in pain. He’d experienced this kind of pain only once before and, at that time, we believed to be a kidney stone leaving his system. Most of the symptoms were there (Luo 2019).
While it’s refreshing to learn that my husband truly is human and does get sick, it makes me uneasy when he’s in pain and suffering. My husband is tough and rarely gets sick. In the entire time, I’ve known him, some 15-16, years he’s probably only had a handful of sick days and three of those were precautionary colonoscopy tests, because his father had had bowel cancer. Surgery removed the cancer, so he’s much better.
While I’m comfortable applying metaphysical concepts to me and my ailments it becomes a little more challenging when applying them to those I love. Anyway, Louise L Hay suggests that kidney stones are “lumps of undissolved anger” (p.202). This definition caused me to question my impact on my husband. When it comes to expressing anger, he rarely does it. Most times, I have suspected his casual “go with the flow” attitude allows him to move on easily.
One of the things that I need to constantly remind myself on is to watch how my comments on things are taken seriously by others. Sometimes there’s a tendency to over-dramatise, or “lay it on a bit thick”. Between my sister, mother and I this isn’t an issue – passionate souls the lot of us. Venting at full volume only to kiss and make up a couple of hours later is pretty much standard family stuff from where we sit (most of the time).
Others’ views on what we (my family) would call our level three style conversation – one being normal discussions, two being tactical words. A three out of five as being a “tense” situation and others have thought that things were really bad. The truth is that we’re far from it. Life’s not really fun, if you aren’t able to have a fight every now and again with people who love you.
In one of the many books I’ve read, the opposite of love isn’t hating, it’s indifference. Hate is simply showing you that they love you so much and you’ve disappointed them. Indifference is like Rhett Butler to Scarlett O’Hara, at the end of the 1939 movie, Gone with the Wind when he says, “[f]rankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,”. Rhett’s indifference shows he has no real feelings for her anymore. Not hate or love.
Also, in Chinese Astrology world somewhere when reading about the dynamic between my sign and my husband’s. Those born in the year of the Dragon need to be a little careful of their outbursts, for other signs aren’t as thick-skinned. A polite way of saying, I could be over the top sometimes, and to tone it down.
On a couple of occasions, I’ve noticed my husband’s reaction to something I thought was just a matter of play. This was just play feelings and all. Although, not expressed the response followed with an ache here or there. These signs helped me work with the “over the top-ness” and I work on toning it down. Perhaps I’d become complacent.
Annette Noontil on the other hand relays that kidney stones mean, ” [n]ot having a good relationship with self or others and not doing anything about the situation. This then gets solidified inside you” (Noontil, p. 67). It’s similar to Hay’s although the words are slightly different.
Let’s see what the cards had to say!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry over cards from yesterday; No-thingness from position Future Energy to Now (makes sense), Letting Go from Recent Past to Recent Past (unchanged), Friendliness from Feelings/ Immediate Future to Outcome (makes sense). Worth noting that Friendliness has been with us for the last four days, while I wrote it off yesterday, it appears it wants to be taken more seriously.
The movement of a Future Energy into the Now position like that of No-thingness is a lovely progression to show how the cards are supposed to work 😉. Suggesting that the potential is available at the moment.
Letting Go staying in the same position supports the No-thingness card’s transition suggesting that the potential being brought to life in No-thingness might be dependent upon Letting Go.
With respect to Friendliness, from my numerology days, there’s a thing that certain numbers are karmic numbers. The numbers 19 and 22 are karmic numbers – 19 being 19 March and 22 being 22 March. What does this mean? It means they are like the major arcana cards in a tarot deck. Significant growing landing points. Numbers not labelled as a karmic number are the roads to get you to and between those marked as karmic numbers. It’s too long to go into here, it’ll require its own post. This is what I’ve noticed from my personal observations, that if a significant event begins on a 19 it will usually wrap up by number 22. COVID-19 is interesting since the 19 is it starting in 2019, concern around it will start changing in 2022 – that’s my guess. So, much fun stuff to explore with this concept, it will require its own post.
All of that just to say Friendliness will probably not be around tomorrow.
The four-day journey of Friendliness seems worth calling out, especially since it’ back again. No longer can it be glossed over! Friendliness began in the Now, moved to Distant Past, then reemerged in the Feelings/ Immediate Future position and finally in the Outcome position. If we were to read the positions rather than the card itself specifically, I’d say that the Friendliness has cycled through from Now to potentially again become Now again. After all the Now position is an outcome from something previous (although not identified here) and the Outcome is where it was going. Friendliness has begotten itself. Friendliness breeds Friendliness no matter who the interaction is with.
The Rebirth as Influence on No-thingness suggests an issue thought of as passed is available for resurrection. The Goal of Ripeness suggests that this is the certainly the right time to work on potential. If we’re talking about my husband’s kidney stone, since he has had it before and it has recurred, it might be worth exploring causes.
In the Distant Past the kidney stones have caused Stress. On the upside my husband has let go of the situation because it is no longer in his system or kidneys but out of it. It’s a Letting Go, suggesting then a Letting Go of an old situation that no longer served my husband (Recent Past).
Future Energy shows the card of Compromise. It’s the “draw”, where there are no winners.
For me, I need to let go of my own Guilt. I mentioned feeling guilty or sad about my husband’s situation, believing I am in part responsible.
Others’ Views see me as being Intensity – aka “over the top”. Let’s just say the cards have definitely reflected my thoughts above.
Hopes & Fears is Laziness. The fear is definitely that I had become complacent with respect to how I jest on matters that could be taken seriously. The problem is that I have difficulty spotting the situation because for me it isn’t an issue. My hope is that, if Laziness has been the cause, it is identified dealt with.
Here we have the Outcome of Friendliness, suggesting a way to handle situations moving forwards. Less over-the-top, more casual.
References
- Hay Louise L, 1999, You Can Heal Your Life, Hay House Inc., United States, ISBN 1-56170-628-0
- Luo, Elaine K, 2019, What causes left kidney pain?, healthline, Online
- Noontil Annette, 1994, The Body is The Barometer of The Soul, McPherson’s Printing Group, Australia, ISBN 0-46-19721-5
- Osho, 1994, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, London, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
