Day 053 – Consequences

Welcome to Day 53!

This post began with me wanting to write about that unreachable itch and the satisfaction you get when you are able to scratch it.   However, the words for that post are still in the ether or in my brain percolating.  So, instead, the post is about lack of motivation and consequences.

There was a very cheeky part of me that wanted to just leave it at the end of the last sentence.  That would communicate the concept of a lack of motivation and consequence quite clearly.  However, it’s not a lack of motivation it’s more a lack of doing.   

For instance, if I chose not to wash the dishes – they’d still be there tomorrow.  In addition, there would be the additional day’s worth of dishes.  The additional dishes further discourages me to do the dishes.  It can be a vicious cycle.  Likewise, in the workplace, if you leave something until later there’s the added stress of disappointing the boss.  The consequences of that can vary greatly!

When did this sense of duty become part of us?  Many times I’ve heard, myself, friends and colleagues lament about the loss of our teenage daring.  With the lamenting inevitably came stories of our teenage bravery.  The stories of our stupidity from those same years weren’t far behind after the bravery ones ran out. 

Clearly, when we are children or have children it’s clear that they get a sense of consequence when they are being disciplined and tend to avoid some of the greater punishments.  Although, when two of my godchildren were 9 and 11 and asked to do the dishes (one to wash the other to dry), the stalling and avoidance went on for so long that it was time for bed when they finished.  

Unfortunately, this further increased their dislike of doing the dishes the next time and created more reluctance.   The two would then turn washing the dishes into a passive-aggressive game; the washer would drop dishes into the sink to splash the other and the dryer would flick the tea-towel at the washer.  

It wasn’t always the same actions, the dryer would occasionally put a “dirty” dish back saying it needed rewashing (particularly when he noticed the washer was outpacing his ability to dry).  The bickering would not stop until adult intervention, usually in the form of a frustrated raised voice, refocused the activity.  

Those with adolescents will be very well aware of similar style incidents.  In the end, it proved to be a good bonding experience for them as they are able to laugh about it today and even re-enact the tea towel flicking “competitions” on the odd occasion.  They’re now aged 30 and 32, but the difference is they no longer need adult intervention to refocus them to get the job done – mostly. *grin*

According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology, it has to do with the development of the amygdala which doesn’t fully develop until well into adulthood.  Full development occurs in women about 1.5 years sooner than that of men (reference 2 & 3).  So, the fully developed amygdala is what happened to prevent further stories of bravery and stupidity, of the teenage kind anyway.  

What happens then when adults enter dangerous situations understanding there could be dire consequences.  There is so much in this space, however, it suggests that those workers on the frontline tend to suffer more greatly from PTSD, depression or other mental health issues brought about by “triggering” the amygdala.  The amygdala is the thing in our brain that tells us that we’re in danger (reference 3).  

There has been quite a bit of research into dealing with this but the parts that attract my attention is the research into mindfulness for frontline workers. The Huffington Post reported that the Peel Regional Police Force, were participating in mindfulness research (reference 4) and The BMC Psychology had conducted research on Australian Firefighters both with positive results.  

An article I read a little while ago when I was researching for support to help me establish a space for meditation at work, was also incredibly interesting.  It was about reducing crime in the District of Columbia.  The District of Columbia conducted a project where transcendental meditation was practised for two months to see if there was a discernible impact on the crime rate.  The research showed there was, which I thought was truly amazing.  

In short, taking the time to practise some mindfulness and/ or meditation will help deal with stressful situations.  Whether those situations are on a large scale or a small scale.  Who knows just one person practising in the household may make the household want to do dishes… Too much to hope for?  Okay, maybe the reason the amygdala hasn’t fully developed is so that sibling bonding can occur!

Now, there’s a small thunder and rain storm which I am going to safely enjoy listening to and after the hot and muggy day, the relief is a balm for the soul.