Day 050 – Pushing too hard

It appears that today is the beginning of a new cycle since there isn’t a single carry over card from yesterday or even the last couple of days.  This is a surprise that I wasn’t expecting.  A fresh spate.  Something must have moved.

First card in the Now position is Innocence. Innocence from letting go, not from not knowing stuff.  Innocence from striping away airs and graces and simply being.  This is what makes a wise person wise.  Having made mistakes and accepting that they have brought you to this moment.

The second card is Patience in the Influence position.  Perhaps it was patience that saw the act of curiosity around testing my ankle’s healed state.  It’s probably more the lack of patience.  Patience if used as a blocker influencing Innocence.  Funnily, it wasn’t my impatience driving the test.  There’s nothing to be gained by proving it has healed now, no doctor to say, “well done” we’ll remove it immediately.  The appointment to remove the cast is in ten days and therefore the test was purely for my own benefit and curiosity. 

Intensity sits in the Goal position, and was the third card selected.  Intensity is about breaking new ground and doing things your own way.  Wanting to experiment with a new direction and trusting in your intuition.  Quite possibly this could have been an unconscious goal.  How else could I test how the ankle was going?  It felt fine *grin*.

In the Distant Past is Stress.  Stress is certainly something that has been playing on my mind. For me, Stress is about having the cast on and in place, it’s about the skin crumbling off the toes.  It’s really gruesome years of hard earned protected underfoot, peels away to leave raw baby pink skin beneath it.  Walking bare-footed again is going to be challenging.

Perhaps, being receptive to new healing techniques has encouraged thinking of accelerated healing working miracles.  This might be what Receptivity in the Recent Past position indicates.

Ah… Future Energy is occupied by the Experiencing card.  It will certainly be an interesting experience to see what happens with the few seconds of testing.  Even as I write this at, about two hours ago, I was having serious doubts about the wisdom of putting my full weight onto the healing ankle.  Regret is certainly a word that comes to mind.  

Regret would fit nicely into the Feelings spot which is position seven.  In the absence of a regret card, Guilt appears in its place.  When the pain was at its high point in the ankle, there was concern that I’d done more harm than good.  Logically, there should be no harm.  the cast is secure, the ankle secure within it and the pressure was purposeful, controlled and short.   

See what’s happening, it’s called “justifying” (yes, you can say it slowly “just-i-fy-ing!).  I’ll volunteer for the role of “village idiot” today.

Other People’s Views is position eight and has the card of Letting Go. Given that the only reactions that have occurred have been with people from work, and the main discussions occurred with that of the big project I was off-loading, the Letting Go card totally fits that bill.

Hopes & Fears is Friendliness in position nine.  Quite simply, the Hope is to develop amicable relationships for the project to transition smoothly.  The Fear is that the incoming project manager will want to prove themselves and not listen or even be pig-headed.

The Outcome position has Playfulness in it.  If all goes well with the ankle and nothing worse than a little pain was felt in something that hasn’t been used to any pressure in over four weeks.  Then I will be very happy and playful.