6 February 2021
Context
Welcome to Day 37!
Woke, very normal day. My restless ankle had sorted itself out.
Went to shopping centre or mall. It was an easier experience than the last time. Last time was with crutches and everything was a little scary and exhausting. This time, I was confident moving around, I was able to use the kneeling non-motorised scooter as a footrest while having lunch. It’s amazing what a difference the kneeling walker/ scooter makes to the whole experience.
Had a chat with my sister and as we discussed our lives – as you do – stuff like my ankle, my husband’s birthday present, et cetera plus Betty’s unusual behaviour which resulted with her out of the blue (from my perspective) choosing not to speak with me anymore. It’s obviously still playing on my mind. The thing is what do I do about it? Perhaps, I too need to sort out how I feel about the friendship. There’s a part of me that just simply doesn’t want to call any friendship “quits”.
I love Betty, but sometimes friends grow apart and I suspect that we have based on that last conversation. However, if she was drunk and I wasn’t tuning in to the subtle clues for me to listen not chat and distract. Then I need to go back. Of course, I can still love her without the engagement of friendship. That then feels most of my past romantic relationships, and that’s just sad. As a true friend, I’d respect her wishes maybe.
There is the scenario where you can love someone without being their friend. This thought is almost alien to me, although if I think about past friendships and relationships, I don’t hate anyone. There are people who I prefer not to see again, for various reasons which I am sure goes both ways. One of my reasons is that I don’t think it would be fair to my husband to have a heap of old boyfriends hanging around. Although he’d probably be fine with it. So, maybe it would be more weird for me than him – initially, at least.
For simplicity, I’ll pop in a note to my subconscious to see if it can find a solution amongst all my values data on how best to resolve my feelings on the incident. Oh, I’m annoyed at ruminating on it so long. It should be over.
Well, lets see what the cards have to say!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Creativity is in position one and the Now. Creativity is about new ideas and for me it means focussing on the fun and pretty things. Don’t get me wrong, creativity can for me be working on formulas to get charts or data to sing for me. At other times, it can be to do something aesthetically pleasing – like was my aim for today. Well, aesthetically pleasing and practical. It is to adjust my logo to have a curved hand to hold the yin-yang soul ball.
By the way, the pinkish/ yellow glow in the ball is what I am referring to as the “soul light” and the yin-yang is overlain on top of it. Hence the “yin-yang soul ball” name.
Letting Go is the Influence card and the second position. This is about releasing preconceptions of what should and what shouldn’t work. When it comes to Creativity Letting Go is a good card to sit over it because it encourages a free flow of ideas complementing Creativity versus blocking it.
Maturity is in the third position of the Goal. This implies that I have reached a sense of satisfaction and I am happy for the moment being that way. My work came to mind when I saw the card of Maturity. Being in a new role feels a exciting it’s not an unreasonable goal to wish to become competent and good at it. That is, mature.
When it comes to my ankle, the Goal is to heal it to be mature by the time I visit the doctor on Tuesday – as unrealistic a goal as that may sound.
Distant Past has the card of Transformation. It was also card four. Since this reading appears to be focussing on work. The Transformation to which the Distant Past might be referring to is when the branch restructured to suit contemporary computing practises.
If talking about the ankle, Distant Past would be referring to the day I broke the ankle. Both are points from which there is no going back.
Patience is the card in Recent Past and card number five. I’m surprised that Patience has shown up for me. Actually, I’m surprised it ever appears in a position apart from the Goal or Hopes & Fears position! I do gest, I can be patient. When talking about the work situation, I feel that it’s work being patient with me.
There’s a lot happening in the area where I have moved to and the team needs hands on deck. My ankle delayed me getting on board sooner meaning they needed to be patient. Now that I am on board I need to get up to speed and again, patience from them and from me is required. “Me?”, you ask. Yes. “Why aren’t I walking yet?”.
Future Energy is position six and has The Outsider. This is easy. For work, I began late. A new member joined the team and fit right in to the team dynamic. After being away, I felt left out. Of course, that’s just my feeling because if I look back on the day, even one day later, I was included. It was just the the tainted point-of-view I sometimes get.
Position seven is the how I feel about the Now situation or what I call the Feelings position. We are the World is a card that reflects a plan coming together. That’s exactly how I feel about the Creativity card. Information is coming together in new ways that will end up being both beautiful and practical. Just need the practicality of that to sink in before I can develop it further.
Position eight is how other people view me or Other People’s Views. This spot has the card of Ordinariness. Ordinariness is about doing the everyday small things well. It’s such a beautiful card, I find it very peaceful.
Hopes & Fears is position nine and has the card of Sorrow. Sorrow is enlightenment through tears and sadness. In the Context I mentioned the situation with Betty. My hope is that I will gain a resolution from my subconscious or a dream or wait for synchronicity to help me out. My fear is that the response will be that Betty indeed meant what she said in her drunk state and that our friendship is over, even if our love for each other still exists.
The tenth position is that of Outcome and has the card of Change. Change, needs little explanation. What I will add is that this Change card is what in, what is known as the Major Arcana in tarot circles. A simple analogy the Major Arcana are big cities and the Minor Arcana are the small towns on your way to the big cities. So, when we’re talking Change it has a significant impact. The thing that determines whether it will be a painful change or a challenge, is a person’s attitude to the change.
At work, I’m going to guess that it’s the addition of the new person to the team that will have the biggest impact. It will mean a change in dynamics until everyone settles into their comfort zone.
References
Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7