Day 033 – The need for control

The Now position is occupied by Ordinariness.  Ordinariness is a beautiful card, it’s peaceful and relaxing finding comfort and beauty in routine.  Not seeing it as a humdrum affair but seeing it as something to be treasured.  After a year like 2020 with Coronavirus (COVID-19) the routine of settling back to work is something beautiful.

Being the second day back from leave is essentially the first day back to a semblance of routine.  The first day back is usually about talking about your leave, catching up on emails and getting back up to speed.

The Influence position is occupied by Sorrow.  Slightly tainting the feeling of rejoicing in Ordinariness is the realisation that this IS back to usual conditions and a loss of the freedom of being on leave. Hence, the Sorrow card. 

Coming back from vacation or extended leave is like the transformation of one stage to another, or more simply a small death.  The Sorrow reflects that transition and influences the normal routine.

Goal is position three and the card of Postponement. What I like about the Osho deck is that Osho can be blunt around some of the areas where I’m a little softer.  The book frankly states that, “Postponement is stupid.”.  Indeed it is.  

However, that doesn’t make it easier to tackle what needs to be tackled.  There are some work activities that I am reluctant to face on the second day back but I am hoping to delay them just a little longer.  Seeing this card reflects my goal so accurately is quite eerie.

Distant Past is position for and has the Possibilities card.  In the past there have been many Possibilities.  These I am viewing as the many possibilities or synchronistic events that have allowed me to get back to work.  

Recent Past is New Vision. New Vision usually happens after a breakthrough of some kind.  For me that’s taking healing into my own hands and using the frequency healing – regardless of its outcome, it is still empowering me.  Being in the Recent Past position makes sense since it was only yesterday that I threw myself into the frequency healing experiment – radical or not!

Future Energy is The Rebel. The Rebel card is about breaking free of your old constraints, doing things your own way.  Perhaps that’s the frequency healing that might be perceived as incredibly radical.  I don’t really mind.  Another way I am endeavouring to heal is by trying to accept and deal with the pain as it appears.  

By dealing with my pain this way, rather than always masking my pain with painkillers (I do if I need to get to sleep or the pain is unbearable – to-date most of it has been manageable without painkillers).  This helps me gauge how the healing process is going.  It also allows me to occasionally breathe into the pain like in a yoga pose and move through and past the pain it.  Part of me hopes that this will help the healing too.

Feelings is Experiencing.  My Feelings are that by Experiencing the pain I am dealing with the reason that I attracted the broken ankle in the first place – metaphysically speaking.  

For your information, I see the right as that of physical direction and the right ankle as capability of moving toward it. Invariably, people questioning the direction of their jobs, cars or their homes may find themselves with a broken right leg thing.  Of course, that’s not all the time.  I’ve had many jobs and lives in many different locations and moved states three times without an issue.  It’s more around two equal directions of uncertainty.  

This time for me, it was me questioning whether I should go back to work.  Vacation and everyone around me talking retirement has gotten me thinking of retiring.  Many times through my life, while on vacation, I’ve wanted to chuck in the towel and work in that new location.  The difference this time is that I wouldn’t be throwing it in to work elsewhere, it would be to do and be someone else.  But I knew I wasn’t ready yet.  Breaking my ankle provides me with time to figure it out, if I haven’t already.  

In essence, my healing won’t happen while there isn’t a plan for my spiritual self.  Guess it is time to embrace my soul and have a chat.  It’s all about Experiencing feelings as a physical manifestation.

Other People’s Views is Moment to Moment.  To be completely honest, when I dealt the cards I had not taken a lot of notice of this card.  Since I have just started to record my dealings, so I remember my first impressions of the cards to type up.  

Once I turned off the voice memo, I gathered the cards without taking the day’s photos.  When it came to finding the cards and putting them back for the photo, I had glossed over this position completely and did not remember what the cards was.  

So, I simply grabbed another card from the deck and put it into the place.  Very much along the lines of “it’s meant to be what it’s meant to be”.

While I love this card, when it’s in the Other People’s Views position it might be concerning.  Do I look like I’m not following and off with the fairies? Or, do I look like I’m easy going?  Guess we’ll just have to take each moment as it comes – Moment to Moment.

Hopes & Fears has the card of The Master.  To become The Master is to break free of constraints to truly live in the moment and experience everything.  This is an alluring hope but also really scares me.  What would it be like to be so intune all the time?  How would you act?  That’s just it I suppose, there would be no “act” it would just be being.

Outcome is Control. Control is almost the exact opposite of The Master.  Rigid, unyielding, yet fair.  It’s the attempt to keep justice balanced.  It lacks the warmth and free forms of acceptance.  Holding on to the situation and trying not to react to what is thrown very much like a rock.  However, too much Control can make one unapproachable.  Finding the balance between Control and Moment to Moment is my balancing act at work.