30 January 2021
Today's Cards
Context
Welcome to Day 30!
The context and pretext for today was that I again would be spending most of my day on the lounge with my leg raised waiting stuff from a streaming provider. The day was not going to be a cut and paste from the Day 29 because it was a weekend and my husband was home with me.
Sleeping last night was a bit problematic because I managed to get a nap in yesterday. Yes, a fabled nap. At midnight I remembered why I didn’t like naps through the day… and at 1:00 in the morning.
After trying and failing at several techniques which have had a great success rate of getting me to sleep, I simply got up and made myself a cup of camomile tea. While I was waiting for the tea to steep, I fell asleep on the lounge. Sleep at last … Zzzz.
Through the day there was some TV watching but not as much as yesterday – thank goodness. I’m sure my eyes were becoming square.
Husband did the lawn, trimmed the trees and cleaned the water feature. All stuff, I would normally help him with or even just do myself. So, I thought I would grab the crutches and head outdoors to watch and provide verbal support.
Turns out the idea was more appealing than reality. The practical application of heading outdoors became challenging on the sloping driveway and the wind blowing at my dress. There was a reluctant retreat and the heckling I hoped to deliver went by unexpressed.
Part of the reason I wanted to head outdoors was to keep my hand in using the crutches. There’s a fear that if I don’t use it and keep up the skill I might fall over again. To-date I’ve been fortunate with repeat falls in that there have been no real consequences. So you may ask, what have I been using if haven’t been using crutches?
You see, back when my mother broke her leg about 15 years ago she discovered a nifty way of getting around her single level, tiled and floor boarded house. In my old room she discovered an old school chair which I hadn’t thrown out yet.
It was small, armless and free wheeling student chair. She sat on the seat to test out its sturdiness and its wheel-ability and in no time my mum was whizzing about the house backwards. I never understood the reason for the backwards until I go my own.
Backwards feels safer. Firstly, there seems to be a little more control and if you misjudge a push and bump into a wall your injury is safe. Having your back push in the back rest also provides a bit of resistance and you get a better push. The problem with the student chair is that it is designed for children and therefore might not feel sturdy for a long term solution. Best off going with the solutions designed for the mobility impaired.
After lunch there was a lovely surprise from my mother, when a beautiful bunch of flowers arrived. It’s one of the more beautifully presented flower bouquets I’ve received. Please note that none of the flowers I have ever received have ever been ugly! The presentation from delivery wrap to table top presentation was amazing!
They really brightened my day!
The Cards - Almost an Analysis
The Dream appears in the Now position one and is the first card for the day. The Dream is about unrealistic and romantic notions. If you like an example of this might be watching or reading something and believing that the “happily ever after” is something taken for granted.
With respect to today’s events, I can safely say that The Dream was about me heading outdoors to heckle my husband and the notion of it being dreamier than reality.
The Influence and second position was occupied the Beyond Illusion card. It seems a fitting card to sit as Influence over The Dream acting as a correction and providing a reality check for me in my current circumstance.
The Goal and third position was occupied by Sorrow. Sorrow, while sounding like a sad card also points toward enlightenment via tears and sadness. The goal expressed in the Goal position isn’t always clearly identifiable at the beginning of the day. Shattering of a dream is a sad event and enlightenment certainly hit me in the head.
The Creator occupies position four and that of the Distant Past. The Creator also appeared in yesterday’s reading in Other People’s Views. Where I mentioned it is about connecting with your inner source and doing something with it.
The distinction between The Creator and The Source cards is that one is the pure energy the other is the user of the energy. Much like a potter is one that works with clay. Clay being the source and the potter being the creator. However, in the Osho deck the card is all about working on your inner self.
Working with this intent, I was The Creator of the circumstance I now find myself in. Not directly, of course, it’s not like I went, “ooh, I think I could go with a broken ankle right about now!”. But my choices did lead me to have weekend break in Tweed Heads and the consequence is simply part of living life.
But my life choices keep steering me into situations where I have to constantly face my character and not always successfully – *sad face emoji*. So, the card of The Creator fits nicely into the Distant Past and its consequence is reflected in the creation and shattering of The Dream.
Letting Go is the fifth card to appear and sits in the Recent Past position. Letting Go fittingly describes what I needed to do to move on from The Dream. There’s not much more to say on this card in this position, except maybe that the incident has highlighted that I’ve been in the process of letting go of a lot of things.
Consciousness is the sixth card to appear and sits in the Future Energy position. Consciousness is the equivalent of being stone cold sober with complete awareness. Aware of all the pieces that combine to make you “you” or in this situation make the situation the situation.
What do I mean by that? I mean that The Dream that was an illusion of my circumstances has been shattered and it took that very simple activity of wanting to go outside to bring about the change. Not every monumental awakening needs to happen with drama or fireworks. Shifts in consciousness happen everyday and some small changes pass us by without ever being noticed. That is, until one day you ask yourself, “what ever happened to that belief?”.
Conditioning was the seventh card to appear in the Feelings about the Now position. This is simple, I have conditioned myself to be constantly optimistic in my ability to respond quickly to new situations. I’ve always had a balance between being good at academic topics and had reasonable success with most sports without too much effort.
Add to this conditioning the fact that in my work life I have been required to adapt quickly to new jobs on a regular basis – life as a contractor for nine years saw me occupy 40-45 different roles working across different industries too. This conditioned me to feel that I was able to triumph over pretty much anything quickly.
Breaking from my conditioning is something I feel that I need to do now that I have limited mobility. After all, this for me is temporary and relatively minimal despite what the doctors have said about its serious nature. I can walk. I can get around. I count myself lucky.
Success was the eighth card to appear and occupies the Other People’s Views position. Again, my exposure to other people has been limited but I expect that this might relate to my mother’s sending of flowers. There’s just a feeling of riding high when you receive flowers.
For me, it’s like I’ve done something right to receive such a beautiful expression of love to help me get well. This isn’t something our family does regularly so I suspect it might also be to sweeten the guilt she’s feeling about calling on me for tech help. Of course, I have never expected anything for the assistance. It’s just what kids all over the world do for parents because they love them.
Suppression was the ninth card and occupies the Hopes & Fears position. Suppression appeared in yesterday’s reading in the Feelings position and it’s transition to a hope or fear makes sense to me.
I don’t like suppressing who I am. The shattering of the The Dream card makes me question just how many more of these notions I have and that is the fear. My hope is that the shattering of this dream situation is the last.
Guilt is in the Outcome position and was the tenth card today. In the Osho deck Guilt is an unproductive emotion. Interestingly, the Guilt in the Hopes & Fears position of yesterday has moved into the Outcome position. Given the description I gave yesterday of my fear then, of me taking healing into my own hands, I don’t think that the Guilt card today is a carry over from yesterday.
There is a little bit of guilt surrounding the receipt of flowers from my mother for simply being injured. I can, however, appreciate that at times we want to express our feelings with more than just words for our family members.
Link to References
Flowers were from ‘Only Roses’ in Brisbane, Queensland.