24 January 2021
Today's Cards
Context
Welcome to Day 24!
Just a quick note, by direct order from the doctor, I need to raise my leg above my heart. Lifting my leg above my heart makes the pain in my ankle much worse when I resume it to its original position. The temporary splint digs into my calves, and the ankle bones rub against the cast as well. Also, writing with my leg raised makes putting the daily blog together more difficult because of the pain – even with painkillers. The angle of the leg makes it awkward to type. It’s a new day, and I’ll find a way.
Today started better than last night, which is a good thing, but mornings are always better than evenings. I guess it’s all the times I need to get up to pee during the night. Today’s goal is to keep movement to a minimum and not leave the house. Taking every moment as it comes. If my leg is going to get better, it means being patient and doing the right thing – grumble.
By keeping myself to the study, all activity – or lack thereof – progressed nicely. I only needed to get up for a few things, basically, food and the call of nature. Then, getting up to go to the bathroom, I overbalanced on the crutches and fell. I was unable to avoid putting weight on the injured ankle.
My husband helped me get back up, but shaken was I. There’s a point where you don’t trust your footing anymore, although I know where I went wrong. Not only that, you begin to question whether the pain you’re feeling is part of the original injury or whether you added a complication to the injury.
Not wanting to stress out and become a see things that aren’t there. Plus, I’d already followed up, and it was nothing. Okay. I know that the former baseline situation has changed because there was another fall. So, I’ll be extra careful and move less, put up my foot. It’s just another three days, and I’ll be seeing the specialist anyway.
To reduce the number of times I could fall at home, we purchased a cheap office chair to wheel around the house instead of the crutches. My mum had done this when she had a broken leg and hip surgery because she lived independently. For me, it seemed like a much safer option, especially since my husband goes back to work tomorrow.
In the meantime, while at the door, the neighbour was outside with her daughter and granddaughter. The granddaughter was learning to skateboard. After a tiny chit-chat, I went back inside and put my leg up. To spend the rest of the new day with my legs elevated above heart level, watching TV shows that grabbed my interest.
The Cards - Almost an Analysis
Projections card was the first and is in the Now position. Means I was hopeful that I could get around doing all the things my mum could do.
Also, there is probably a bit of an unfair projection of all the stuff I would get done if I could move about. I know it’s unfair because its stuff I’ve been meaning to get to for ages and haven’t. So, yeah. Unfair.
In fairness, it should be pointed out that some of these relate to the short exposure that I have had to my work in collecting my computer equipment and making unfounded assumptions. Oh. It’s so difficult to have time to think in isolation sometimes. Fortunately, it’s in isolation and you can work through them before they do any damage.
Beyond Illusion card was the second one today and is in the Influence position. The process of moving from caterpillar to butterfly, chrysalis is assisting me in forming the projections that are unfair. This makes sense since, the change of the broken ankle has forced upon us is causing the unfair expectations of me and those around me.
Success card was the third one today and is in the Goal position. There’s a large focus that I want to master this situation. When i say this situation, I’m talking about the crutches, the confinement and the frustration of having the broken ankle.
Sharing card was the fourth one today and is in the Distant Past position. I’m used to having more than I need and when not confined like pre-ankle I enjoy my freedom of movement and give generously of my time and effort.
Morality card was the fifth one today and is in the Recent Past position. Wonder if this relates to me “doing the right thing” not going to the hospital post the fall – just to save inconveniencing a lot of people? I suspect it might be.
Awareness card was the second one today and is in the Future Energy position. Looking at my ankle injury from a metaphysical injury, it would mean that I’m rethinking my physical direction.
How did I arrive at that? Without going into depth the basics are: right side equals physical direction, ankle equals movement, activity and allows for forward movement. Therefore, there’s a part of my psyche that wasn’t being listened to that wanted me to take a good long look at where I wanted to go with respect to my occupation.
Friendliness card was the seventh one today and is in the Feelings or immediate future position. This was probably the friendly chat with our neighbour and her family. It was refreshing and lovely.
Conditioning card was the eighth one today and is in the Other People’s Views position. People saw me as breaking away from what you’re supposed to do with a broken ankle perhaps? Maybe being out chatting on crutches made me look competent with them and it was different to everyone else at the time.
Consciousness card was the ninth one today and is in the Hopes and Fears position. I am hoping that I was fully conscious of my choice not going to hospital again was a clear choice but fearing that perhaps I might not be. This is that internal struggle position. Did I struggle with the decision? Yes. Do I think it was the right one? Yes. Am I scared that my intuition was wrong? Yes. But that’s Hopes and Fears for you right there.
Moment to Moment card was the tenth one today and is in the Outcome position. In the end, I didn’t have any choice but to live moment to moment. However, the card Moment to Moment, isn’t about having to do it means there’s a mindfulness to the acceptance not just struggling from one second to the next.
Link to References
Add link to references is coming