13 January 2021
Dobby & Betty Context
My plan for today started simply, and I was going to work on the Celtic Cross Layout, record it and post it on a separate info page. Putting the layout up on the website was transforming a new vision into reality. First, I would need to learn how to do some of those things. Luckily, I enjoy learning. I also wanted to upload my logo at the very least so that the tab you see at the top in your search engine shows my little logo.
“Moltke, the Elder” has been quoted as saying, “no plan survives contact with the enemy” (Wikipedia) and for me, “today” was the enemy. The morning usually began enough, but by 9:30-10:00 am, I discovered a cowering mouse beneath the water bowl. The bowl has a mouse-sized hole which before now I had not thought of as a mouse hole.
Dobby and the Mouse
It was most likely brought in by Dobby (cat number 2) because it was alive. After a few seconds of thinking, I managed to trap the mouse. Valentine (cat number 1), our other cat, with more of a killer instinct, was attempting to get at the mouse trapped in a clear upside-down Tupperware lettuce container (the one’s with holes).
To prevent the creature from being harassed, I needed to grab a brick – I hadn’t quite worked up the courage to try and move the mouse if I lifted the container and it escaped. Then I’d be in an even bigger pickle! Long story short, this mouse stayed where I captured it and at the back of my mind all day, exuding a subtle tension. Kill it or let it go. Where do I let it go? Am I then potentially unleashing a plague upon the suburb?
Will the mouse go from being a hunted creature (birds, snakes, lizards, cats all eat mice) to a dominant species with humanity shifting the local ecosystem? Okay. So, I’m overthinking it just a little. It’s the whole “earthquake happens if a butterfly flaps its wings” thing.
Transforming a New Vision of an Old Friend
Then a spot of lunch. After lunch, I got a most welcome phone call from a friend, who here I will simply call Betty for writing purposes. It’s a safe name for me because I don’t know anyone called Betty at the moment. Betty and I haven’t spoken in ages. At the outset, I got the impression Betty was having a glass of wine during our chat. Having a drink is not uncommon amongst my friends to have a glass of wine and conversation.
So, we pleasantly discussed COVID-19 (Corona Virus), its isolation impacts, the US election, its results, along our hopes and fears. We talked a bit about physical aches, pains, getting older, her dog, her niece, her country of origin and relationships with husbands and people in general. A couple of emotional teary starts on Betty’s part, but she assured me she was okay.
Somewhere, I must have missed a cue. Maybe it was the talking to an old friend, the inability of connecting when perhaps the cabin fever began to show. The conversation went from lightness to a profound probe question of, “who are you, Michaela?”. The conversation went from, “I miss you and you guys (our other friends) so much” to “I’ve just wasted two hours of my time talking to someone I don’t know and what I’ve learned in all my years is that I have choices and I no longer choose to speak with you”. It was the blink of an eye. Ouch! Betty then put the phone down – not hung up.
Shock as Transformation Hits Me
The suddenness stopped me in my tracks. In the professions dealing with the psyche, they would probably argue people go to the extremes of the fight or flight response when shocked. When confronted with an uncertain situation, I can’t decide whether to fight or take flight. The centre of that spectrum is “freeze”. I didn’t lash out with harsh words as I might have once, nor did I hang up the phone and flee. Instead, I paused waited to see what would happen. After a few moments of silence on the end of the phone, I hung up.
Of course, Betty’s a friend of 30 years, and to some degree, I got the frustration. Is this the end from my point of view? Certainly not. I’ll give her time to get over her hangover and send an email to test the waters. From there, it’ll be up to Betty how much of it was me and how much it was anxiety.
It reminds me of how hard isolation can be, mainly if you are used to socialising. If you are not into technology, like Betty, life might be challenging indeed. Betty loves the intimacy of face to face in-person conversations – like most of us. It’s probably something about other people’s pheromones (refer to References) and their scent which you don’t get when technology is involved. I didn’t get to ask whether she used video chats, but I suspect not. The video chats have made it easier for my mother, and at least she can see who is on the other side of the conversation.
On the upside of my hurt, I reached out to a mutual friend to talk it out. Thank goodness for friends!
Enough about that; what did the cards predict.
Today's Cards
Analysis
Cross - first three
First card Compromise in the Now position. Firstly, I can relate this to both situations today. Capturing the mouse and not doing anything with it was a compromise. The mouse didn’t win because it wasn’t free but it was alive; I didn’t win because the mouse was alive and I didn’t know what to do with this. This also sounds a bit like Schizophrenia’s rock and a hard place.
No-thingness was the second card out. This is a tricky one since I usually refer to No-thingness as “potential”, is Compromise threatened by potential creativity? Perhaps it’s a situation in which I needed to get creative about. Let’s assume it’s the mouse situation and that option one was “kill mouse” and option two was “let mouse go”. The compromise was let mouse go at the end of the day.
With respect to Betty maybe No-thingness can be interpreted best as “openness” as opposed to receptivity. Perhaps it’s being open to Compromise?
Conditioning was the third card selected and sits in the Goal position. Conditioning is an interesting card and in the Osho deck talks about the lion brought up by sheep and led to believe it was a sheep. That was, until one day it discovered he was a lion and not a sheep. Osho sees societal conditioning as the sheep and the individual as the lion. As a Goal, it might mean that it’s time for me to look inside.
For a moment, I’m just going to mix up the tarot deck and refer to The Mythic Tarot where its about battling your ego or lion within. The day certainly challenged my ego and it is without ego that I can say there has been some improvement to my early life’s reactions to a similar situations.
Cross - Distant & Recent Past
Next is the Distant Past position and Participation is its card. Previously Participation showed on Day 004 in the Future Energy position and the card is described as enjoying life and be a part of it. My thoughts on this one go to my interaction with Betty and how in the past we embraced each other’s company.
Again, talk of this threw the contact into stark relief and today’s interaction showed that she missed our past “girl gathering” interactions keenly. This stirred up the realisation that said style interaction would not be possible in the near future. Reinforcing the cabin fever she was already feeling (refer References).
Recent Past position has Schizophrenia – The personality split in two minds. Our being seeks wholeness. Betty’s dilemma reflected in part my thoughts and my actions. Entertaining the burden of what society requires at present; restrictions put in place for the safety of all to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus. Divides us internally.
We as people who strive for togetherness are now more than ever forced to face ourselves and the choices we have made on where we live and who we live with. There are no more distractions to keep us from facing our immediate lives. Perhaps its millennia of conditioning that’s kept us from pursuing our dreams, bound up by a responsibility we don’t really want to understand.
Then there’s my frustration at not being able to reach out and simply exist in the same space as my friend.
Future Energy is Transformation – it’s not hard to understand why this card has shown up in the Future Energy position. If I had read the cards at the beginning of the day, I would have been clueless as to what my day would entail. As mentioned, my plan was so different to what transpired.
Transformation
Transformation is the card that tells you that something has forever changed and is irreversible, akin to the moment of learning that Santa is not a real being. It’s the moment you lose your virginity – there’s no turning back. Sadly, so too was my interaction with my friend Betty yesterday.
It took me a while and a meditation to realise what the situation might be. Although I made progress on my immediate response it’s far from where I would like to be of responding immediately with compassion instead of stillness.
Base
Feelings position is Adventure – Although this might sound a little haughty or aloof I am glad of the experience that Betty provided me. Although I hope that the interaction was not my last with her. It allowed me to look at my truth. Not in the analysis that I am doing here but at the moment of asking.
While I knew my response would have been, “I don’t know”. There are also so many facets to the question that hardly made a difference at the instant where I knew instantly then stumbled to articulate 10,000 words into sentences. This truth is what the Adventure card is all about.
On a literal everyday level, Adventure also reflects the adventure of the upcoming weekend away.
Other People’s Views is Possibilities – Here we have the Possibilities showing up again – that’s eight times in fourteen days. This time it’s how other people see me. Perhaps in chatting to my friends – they being the other – and talking about the plans for the website they saw creativity and possibilities ahead. Maybe it looks like keeping myself too busy to live.
The Hopes and Fears position is Inner Voice – This card is about being the same person on the outside as I am on the inside. The same person that speaks to you at home, at work and to my friends. Naturally, if I were to be in each moment I would be speaking my truth at all times. It is certainly my hope, my fear is not being able to attain or sustain it. This makes logical sense in light of Betty’s call.
Outcome position is New Vision – A popular card of late New Vision. Whenever it has appeared it has been about accepting the light with the dark, the good with the bad. This is exactly what my plan is moving forward it’s a slightly new way of being and certainly gives me reason to continue meditating and practising mindfulness.