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Day 218 – TeleDoc Conference post Heart Tests

Friday, 6 August 2021

Day 218. Cards in order of appearance: The Source, Innocence, Maturity, Control, Trust, Mind, The Burden, Consciousness, Understanding, New Vision, Washing Machine

TeleDoc Context

One of the most amazing things we have today is technology.  For all the frustration technology causes is truly fantastic.  Pre-COVID, we had to visit our doctor physically.  Still, in the circumstances such as simply getting feedback on tests performed at the hospital yesterday, it’s suitable to have TeleDoc appointments.  In my case, this is merely a phone call. 

In previous years, I’d hardly ever visited a doctor, except for SCUBA diving courses.  This year there has been an unusual number of visits to anything medical.  Luckily, it has given me a healing focus for blogging. 

Following yesterday’s hospital visit, I managed to catch up with my doctor by making a TeleDoc appointment to discuss the outcome and results.  Consequently, I mentioned my refusal of the tetanus shot.  Doctor Jay was okay with that and cited the current thinking that ten years is sufficient.  But she did advise the potential signs of tetanus can look like a stroke. 

Ultimately, Doctor Jay was happy with the outcome, and if the heart flutters return, we will need to use the Holter monitor to capture the fluctuations.

Today's Cards

Day 218. Cards in order of appearance: The Source, Innocence, Maturity, Control, Trust, Mind, The Burden, Consciousness, Understanding, New Vision, Washing Machine

The Cards - TeleDoc Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Mind moved from Goal to Future Energy, Understanding moved from Feelings to Hopes & Fears.

Cross

The Source is Now and influenced by Innocence.  Innocence clouds everything I know. 

Maturity is the Goal of how to handle feedback around the tetanus shot. 

While Control, or my being able to establish it, sits in the Distant Past.   

Maybe there’s a lack of Trust in the Recent Past, which causes the Mind to occupy Future Energy.  I battle with whether the flutters occurred before or after the infection.

Base

My Feelings have The Burden of not accurately identifying the heart flutters, even if the TeleDoc appointment did ease my thoughts a little.

Others’ Views shows that I am body aware and have Consciousness of my situation and circumstances. 

Hopes & Fears is intriguing because if others view me as having an Understanding of my circumstances, I’m scared their Trust could be misplaced. I’ve done an excellent job of hoodwinking them – although that’s never been my intention.  On the other hand, I hope they’re right and understand my body and situation correctly.

Finally, the Outcome shows New Vision which means taking on a new perspective.  As for my situation might be implementing better health strategies – a better diet, for instance.  And all this was possible with the capability of TeleDoc – amazing!

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7

  2. *note, TeleDoc is just what I’ve called it and any reference to actual services with this name is fictional.

End Day 218

Day 217 – Heart Flutters and the Hospital

Thursday, 5 August 2021

Day 217. Cards in order of appearance: Breakthrough, Ordinariness, Mind, Experiencing, Fighting, Slowing Down, Understanding, Harmony, Totality, Success, Washing Machine

Heart Flutter Context

For the past week, I’ve had heart flutters.  Because, over the years, I’ve done First Aid training and partaken in Toolbox talks on heart attacks, I contacted my doctor as a precaution.  My doctor was in the COVID vaccination clinic and therefore was unable to speak with me.  However, the receptionist, Leanne, advised me to ring triple zero upon hearing the reason for my call.  Which, if you’re in Australia, is the number for Ambulance, Fire and Police.

Of course, ringing triple zero was bizarre.  Besides, I felt fine and just wanted to reassure myself and everyone that “nothing serious” was happening.  So, to console the caring Leanne, I advised I would go to the emergency department at the closest hospital.  Leanne, however, was pushing for immediate action.  The action I supported but downplayed the “immediate” bit.

Brisbane was in COVID lockdown (Day 213).  And since my husband was home, he could drive to the hospital with me after work at 4:30 PM.   Leanne appeared content with my response, although I evaded committing to a “when”.  Satisfied, we hung up

The Call Back

Not five minutes later, my phone rang, and it was Leanne.  I’m fortunate to have such an excellent doctor’s clinic, but my famous last words will be, “I know what I’m doing!”  

Anyway, Leanne must have spoken to someone, and she said, “Please go to the hospital immediately”. 

I paused and mumbled, “Ahh, okay”. 

She asked how long it would take me to get to the hospital.  This time, my response was 15-20 minutes.

“Alright.  Are you going now?” Leanne persisted.  To which my response was, “yes, yes.”. 

“Is your husband going to drive you?” she continued. 

Rolling my eyes at the big fuss Leanne was making, nonetheless, I acquiesced and said, “yes, yes”, once again.

Of course, I planned to go to the hospital once my husband got off work at about 4:30 PM.  As if reading my thoughts, Leanne then said, “I’ll call you in half an hour to ensure you’re at the hospital”.  After we hung up, my response was, “Poop!”.  Then to my husband, “Honey!” and he got a quick rundown of the conversation.

One thing COVID lockdowns have encouraged me to do during a lockdown is to have a shower every second day.  I’d washed yesterday and today was day two, but I wasn’t going to the hospital un-showered. My husband was on day two, as well.  So he went in for wash too.

Just as we parked at the hospital, my phone rang.  It was the sweet, caring Leanne doing as promised/ threatened.  😉  After emphatically confirming we were at the hospital, there was an inaudible sigh on the other end of the phone and, satisfied, she hung up.

Hospital

Once in the hospital, the nurse fitted me with stickers and corresponding electrode monitor things around the heart.  The nurse asked many questions about what was going on, like how long it had been going? Was there anything else?  My reply was just an infection I’d given myself from not properly covering a hot water bottle, contrary to recommendations used boiling water. 

The hot water bottle came with a cover covering the top seal; I was stupid and didn’t use it.  So, with the top uncovered, I fell asleep.  In the morning, I discovered that I had a third-degree burn, and the blister had burst.

Not worrying too much about the blister, “Hey, I’ve had them before, and they go away”.  What I hadn’t counted on was the new track pants fleece coming off and getting in the wound and becoming infected.  The other thing I didn’t know is infections can sometimes trigger heart palpitations.

After three hours of monitoring, my heart flutters had disappeared.  My doctor indicated she’d experienced something similar, and it took nine attempts to capture her heart flutters.

Right before being discharged, the hospital doctor prescribed antibiotics and a tetanus shot.  I accepted the script for the antibiotics but rejected the injection.  The contemporarily knowledgeable doctor bristled for a moment, citing the Australian Handbook, but he captured my refusal, and we proceeded.

Four times in my life, I’ve gotten a tetanus shot; at three of them, I’d fainted and awoken hours later, surrounded by worried-looking faces.  Today, I wanted to get out of the hospital and declined medical advice.  Not being stupid, I will follow up on tetanus with my doctor as soon as possible.

From the hospital, it was straight to the pharmacist to obtain the floxacillin antibiotics and home. 

Today's Cards

Day 217. Cards in order of appearance: Breakthrough, Ordinariness, Mind, Experiencing, Fighting, Slowing Down, Understanding, Harmony, Totality, Success, Washing Machine

The Cards - Heart Flutter Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Breakthrough moved from Influence to Now, Fighting moved from Hopes & Fears to Recent Past.

Cross

Today’s Experiencing heart flutters in the Distant Past is at the root of this reading, and my Goal was to put my Mind at peace on the topic.  In the Recent Past, I’ve been Fighting myself from snapping at others because I’ve had this silent worry gnawing at my nerves.

So, making the phone call to my doctor was a Breakthrough, and the card sits in the Now position.  The Breakthrough’s influence was just living life usually, without stress, and the fluttering was happening.  In other words, Ordinariness. 

In addition to getting medical assistance, I took a moment to step back and work out what else could be contributing to my heart palpitations.  Sitting for long periods each day doesn’t help either.  Consequently, a trip to Officeworks to get a standing option for my desk will help reduce the time I spend sitting for work and blog writing.  Thus, Slowing Down in the Future Energy follows the Breakthrough.

Base

My Feelings on today’s heart flutters experience is I’ve come out of it with an Understanding of what might have triggered it.  It might not be what the hospital or the incredible team at the Prince Charles Hospital in Chermside identified, but it at least provides an Understanding of what my heart flutters are not.

Others’ Views of me in the situation is one of Harmony.  Harmony is where I listen to my “heart” 💗; this appears to be a literal translation and a symbolic one.

Totality is in the Hopes & Fears position, and I fear I have not made the wrong decision regarding the tetanus shot.  Nonetheless, it is something that I need to commit to with Totality, and I hope I’ve made the right decision.  It can be daunting to take an active role in one’s healing.

Finally, the Outcome has Success.  It’s lovely to know the heart flutters I’m Experiencing are not a heart attack or something more sinister.  If you’re experiencing them, get them checked out, it’s better to be safe than have others be sorry you’re gone.  Slowing Down might also help with the heart palpitations in case they are not infection-related. 

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7

  2. Do adults really need tetanus booster shots? By Sara W. Dong, MD, Contributor, and Wendy Stead, MD, Contributor 14 May 2020, Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School

End Day 217

Day 216 – Ekka Show Holiday Postponed

Wednesday, 4 August 2021

Day 216. Cards in order of appearance: The Rebel, Breakthrough, Intensity, Friendliness, Silence, Rebirth, The Creator, Compromise, Fighting, Change, Standard Shuffle

Ekka Context

Today’s main news was the Ekka Show Holiday in Queensland, specifically; the postponement of the Brisbane area public holiday due to Coronavirus, Delta Variant.  Queensland had 15 new community transmitted cases.  Brisbane’s extended lockdown changed from three days to a week, thus postponing the show day until later in the year.   I guess there’s no point in having a show day if you can’t have a show.  😟  It saddened me when I heard this news.

With the show day postponed, it meant plans needed to shift.  However, those plans would provide me with some breathing space, and as much as I hate to admit it, writing every day has become a burden.  Catching up on the missed days is even more challenging.  I’ve been writing two posts a day for a week, the current day’s post plus the published one.  In the hope when the show day comes, I would be able to span the delta.

Bummer, Ekka’s postponement has taken the wind out of my sails.  And as much as I’ve tried to publish only the Analysis, I don’t seem to be able to do it.  To my mind, it seems necessary to write something in the context for, well, context.  Nonetheless, after a brief time of licking my wounds, my efforts will no doubt return.  It’s always surprising when something knocks you for six (cricket reference), not in a good way.

Knocking Something for Six

Expanding on how the Ekka’s postponement hit me for six, in the game of Cricket, the aim is to hit a bowled ball to score a run.  The object is to get more runs than the opposition.  There are two batsmen on the field about 20 metres apart.  The batsman hits the ball far enough away without being caught on the full; it buys him and the other batsman time to run and swap positions.  Hooray!  That’s one run.

Suppose the ball returns to either batsman’s batting position, known as the crease because the fielders have thrown the ball toward them.  At each of the creases have wickets.  The wickets are three sticks close together, known as stumps, whose only job is to hold up the bails that sit on them.

The opposition’s goal is to remove the bails off the stumps, which is how a batsman predominantly gets out.  If a fielder catches the ball on the full, the batter is also out.  The whole of the opposition’s team is a fielder, even if the positions they play have their speciality.

If the batsman hits the field’s boundary, it scores four runs.  When a batter hits a ball out on the full, that counts as six runs.   Considering the size of most cricket fields, this is an impressive hit.

So, when you’re “knocked for a six”, you’re impressed, dumbfounded or aghast, which is very much like Ekka’s postponement did for me today.  Today, I was shocked, dismayed, befuddled and confused, by today’s news.

Today's Cards

Day 216. Cards in order of appearance: The Rebel, Breakthrough, Intensity, Friendliness, Silence, Rebirth, The Creator, Compromise, Fighting, Change, Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Ekka Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; Rebirth moved from Recent Past to Future Energy.

Reading Summary

The Goal of Intensity has The Rebel in the Now influenced by a Breakthrough.  In the Recent Past has been Silence, and further in the past (Distant Past) was a grounding in Friendliness.

All of this leads The Rebel to a Rebirth of Feelings as The Creator.  Others view me as being in a Compromise position while internally, my Hopes are Fighting not to explode with frustration or sensitivity in response to a circumstance I fear I created for myself.  Finally, the Outcome predicts a Change is coming and how I handle the Change will depend on my composure and flexibility.

Cross

How does this relate to Ekka’s postponement?   Well, Intensity is about unconstrained power and enthusiasm, or simply just a lot of energy.  The words I associate with this is “like wildfire”.  My Goal then was to burn off the writing backlog.   A Breakthrough, blocking and influencing the dynamic but controlled enthusiasm of The Rebel would be the extended lockdown.

The Friendliness, which is the basis for this reading, because it sits in the Distant Past position and thus is considered the root cause for The Rebel’s motivation, is unknown to me.  More recently, however, is Silence, and for the three days of lockdown, I was at peace.  The logic and its necessity were clear – as is the extended lockdown.  An extension might give me time to get ready for my upcoming leave.

Rebirth is in the Future Energy, and it looks like my up-and-go is due to make a return!  Woohoo!

Base

With the Rebirth of motivation, my Feelings of becoming a creator, if not The Creator, where I use what I’ve learnt and perhaps repurpose or process it to move me forward more quickly.  Although postponing the Ekka show day saddened me, recreation leave is close; Rebirth is likely while I’m away.

Others’ Views is that I will be making concessions, which might mean a Compromise, whether it is the quality of the output or its timeliness.

Fighting is in the Hopes & Fears position, and like in the Summary above, I hope I do not react poorly under the self-imposed pressure, which is my fear.

Finally, Change is the Outcome, suggesting that something will need to give.  As is the case with most Changes, how we handle the transition from Ekka to no Ekka (😁) makes the difference on whether we excel or wither.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7

  2. By the way, it took longer to get to the point of something being knocked for six than I intended, but at least you have the origin of an Australian phrase.  For another, although it is my interpretation, you can refer to Day 188.

End Day 216

Day 215 – Keyboard Breakdown & Guilt

Tuesday, 3 August 2021

Keyboard. Day 215 Layout in order of appearance: Moment to Moment, Mind, Comparison, Completion, Rebirth, Exhaustion, Thunderbolt, Existence, The Master, Guilt.

Keyboard Context

I’ve spoken several times about technology (Day 118) and how it can interrupt a day that’s flowing smoothly.  The USB hub died today, and the laptop I’m using only has two USB ports.  While the computer has a trackpad and a keyboard, I’m not used to using either.  For me, there’s no substitute for a mouse and a keyboard. 

Working from home for extended periods, I prefer to keep the laptop monitor elevated and operating as a second screen.  When I used the laptop keyboard, I invariably hit the trackpad and then spent most of my day cursing about correcting every sentence from typos.

I’ve been meaning to buy a Bluetooth keyboard-mouse combo, which would allow me to use the phone, mouse and keyboard without lugging the docking station home – or in this week’s situation, going in to work to collect said docking station from carrying home.

Keyboard Hunting

So, I jumped onto the Officeworks website and looked at keyboards. Rather than wait for delivery, I thought I would “click and collect”, believing this to be a faster option.  You know, grab an item off the shelf, send a text message to the customer saying, “please collect”.  I wasn’t expecting to have to collect it the next day, which from experience, is the same as getting it delivered. 

Not what I expected, seeking to cancel the order within one minute of receiving the text, the website had a “senior’s moment” when you typed the word cancel into the search “bar”.  As its response was “502 bad gateway”.  It was time to call the “hotline”.  It might be a hotline for the people answering calls, but it was a “coldline” from a customer perspective”.  After ten minutes, I gave up and thought I would try my luck just heading to the store. 

The plan was to collect another keyboard off the shelf, and when the ordered one arrived tomorrow, return it.  The helpful cashier advised me to do as much.  It turns out the store didn’t stock the keyboard I’d ordered, which is why I had to wait a day for it to come from the warehouse or another store.  Undeterred, I’d been considering other keyboard options and selected one of those instead.  Humph.

Back at the counter, the same cashier asked how I’d paid for the original keyboard online.  PayPal.  Her eyes became apologetic behind the mask as she recited the PayPal enforced refund process, meaning I would need to call the hotline to retrieve my funds.  My face drooped, and I decided to return the keyboard and do the unthinkable; head back into the office and collect the office one until tomorrow’s delivery. 

Passive-aggressiveness and Redirection

At this point in the proceedings, there was a bundle load of guilt.  Guilt because I’d spent time away from work on a futile errand, which turned out it could have waited – more guilt at inconveniencing the cashier.  I disliked my blessedly short burst of passive-aggressive whine at the cashier, who could do nothing about my situation.  While she could’ve asked the payment question before I went hunting for the keyboard, none of this would have happened if I’d just showed some self-control.

I would have selected a cheaper keyboard if I had exercised my usual patience, logic, and clarity of thought.  But no, I had to pick pretty over functional, causing the whole mess.

Piling guilt on top of guilt, I felt guilty about being guilty – I bet Grammarly will pick up that I’ve used guilty too many times in the sentence!  Oh, onto the analysis.

Today's Cards

Keyboard. Day 215 Tabled list in order of appearance: Moment to Moment, Mind, Comparison, Completion, Rebirth, Exhaustion, Thunderbolt, Existence, The Master, Guilt.

The Cards - Keyboard Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; The Master moved from Feelings to Hopes & Fears, Guilt moved from Hopes & Fears to Outcome.

Cross

When the keyboard indicated the hub had died, it seemed like the way to fix the issue simply flowed from Moment to Moment.  However, influencing Moment to Moment is Mind, and the Mind complicates matters because it overthinks the emotions that are running rampant. 

The Goal was a simple choice comparing keyboards (Comparison); this area was also affected by Mind.  The Distant Past, such activity was easy to do and once pursued would give a sense of Completion.  More recently (Recent Past), Rebirthing the ego, expecting everything to go my way when I wanted it to, returned.

Fighting the ego, together with the running around for the keyboard, caused Exhaustion in Future Energy.

Base

My Feelings about going from Moment to Moment was that of a Thunderbolt.  Especially since Mind got involved and then it was a case of old expectations applied to new circumstances.

Others’ Views are Existence, meaning what I’m experiencing is simply part of living and living everyday life.  It’s a minor issue and was out of proportion.  (This is probably true).

Hopes & Fears has the card of The Master, which, although today appears like a lot of nothing, the glimmer of learning in the day is the way I was able to pull back from going into a complete passive-aggressive whine at the cashier.  When it comes to today’s hope, it is that I showed enough restraint to contain my frustration long enough to process it without directing it at innocent bystanders. 

The fear is that I didn’t control the frustration, and it caused a mild energy drain on both the cashier and me.

Finally, and to no one’s surprise, it’s Guilt is the Outcome.  I’ve gone into the aspects of how it affected me in today’s context, and I think we’ll leave it there.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 215

Day 214 – Tarot Cards and Essential Services?

Monday, 2 August 2021

Essential. Day 214 Layout in order of appearance: The Lovers, Aloneness, Ripeness, Totality, Participation, Integration, The Master, Experiencing, Guilt, Silence.

Essential Context

Well, we’re in lockdown, and my husband is working from home again.  It’s nice to have him here; we work well together in the same place (in different rooms).  A pre-meeting chat on my work front sees me react to an indignant remark about a tarot reader considering herself an essential service.  

Working in a very “corporate” world, I had agreed that I wouldn’t consider a tarot reader an “essential service”.  To my astonishment, I caught myself making the automatic, unthinking response.  It was a societally acceptable response, but how much thought had gone into it. 

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not that much of a rebel that I need to buck societal nuances for the sake of it – anymore. 😏  The response was flippant, and I had even owned I was a tarot reader.  But following it with I didn’t consider it an essential service.  Then again, it’s not my living.  I knew when the words left my mouth; I was about to give myself a serious chat.  

The warning comes from years of flippant, definitive stances I’ve taken, only to wind up on the reverse and proven, not necessarily wrong, but certainly had my extreme view adjusted.  It’s like in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (1989), where everything Dr Indiana Jones (Indy) tells the students about archaeology, later, literally comes to pass.    

So forget any ideas you've got about lost cities, exotic travel, and digging up the world. You do not follow maps to buried treasure and "X" never, ever, marks the spot.

Dr Indiana (Indy) Jones

Thinking on Automatic Responses

Likewise, I thought about Tarot readers and automatic responses about “essential services” after the meeting.  Here go the questions: “why would she think the classification could apply to her?”, “why do people really go to tarot readers?”, “what can a tarot reader offer in times like the pandemic?”.   My friend Pauline succinctly told me once she simply needed to talk it out, and the cards seemed to be a conduit for me to get the information from her.  

So, then I played a scenario over in my head of a woman (Sandy, for story purposes) whose husband had lost his job to COVID, they were okay for the moment, but Sandy was worried about the future.  Now psychologists don’t deal with speculation on the future – that’s for stockbrokers, crypto experts, weather personnel and psychics.

On an inner level, Sandy knows the future is mercurial.  Having the ability to talk about her worries to someone who might find that light at the end of the tunnel is worth it to her.

So, tarot readers provide minor stress relief and hope amidst dark times.  If Sandy were lucky to find a talented reader, they might even get assistance.  For instance, a tarot reader had once intuited a phone number for the Blue Mountains Meditation Retreat to help me manage my anger. 

Because life is cyclical in waves of happiness and sadness, the tarot reader might stop at a lighter point.  There’s always sunshine after rain, right?  Providing an outlet to someone in times of distress equals mental well-being.  In some respects, you could view a Tarot reader as an essential service.  There, now I’ve thought about it. 

Today's Cards

Essential

The Cards - Essential Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

The Lovers is in the Now influenced by Aloneness, which I read as a union of the self.  The harmonious working together to foster outcomes bigger than the sum of the two parts.   

Ripeness is a state of readiness and reflects today’s Goal.  I’m sensing that the Yin cycle (refer to Day 193) is beginning to hit its awareness as dormant words, like “tarot”, are returning without my prompting.  For example, in the pre-meeting chat.

Participation is in the Recent Past and provides the foundation for The Lovers to continue a similar vibe.  Participation is collaboration, and The Lovers is the union of participation between two people instead of a small group; that would be the meeting.

Totality in the Distant Past probably reminds me of old bad habits like making unthinking or poorly thought-out remarks.

Future Energy is Integration, and you can see the progression from the Recent Past.  It moves from the separate individuals participating in an activity to The Lovers, a union of energy, which brings about Integration. In other words, the answer isn’t as cut and dry as we’d like it to be but by integrating the idea of essential with non-essential, we take the elements of the truth in both and work with the result.

Base

My Feelings are like those of The Master when it comes to this topic.  People believe The Master sits comfortably with his emotions, looking at issues neutrally, neither with passion nor dispassion.

Others’ Views is that I’m Experiencing life and potentially growth in this case.

Hopes & Fears has Guilt.  Did you know the last time Guilt made an appearance was 53 days ago?  Anyway, I fear that I may have given others the wrong impression of my views on the topic.  I hope in future; Guilt doesn’t happen by avoiding unthinking remarks.

Silence is the Outcome, suggesting perhaps that the Guilt stops and Silence with inner peace appears.  If we’re talking about the remark and my thoughts on it, it would seem I will be content with my conclusion.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 214

Day 213 – Snap Lockdown for Reals

Sunday, 1 August 2021

Snap. Day 213 Layout in order of appearance: Mind, Sharing, Projections, Schizophrenia, Existence, The Source, Going with the Flow, Compromise, Maturity, Ice-olation.

Snap Context

When you’re in lockdown, as most of you would know, life gets pretty dull.  Although activities outside the home slowed, today still felt busy.  What, with a family zoom catch-up and the snap decision by the AFL to send Sydney Swans flying to Victoria at a moment’s notice to play in Melbourne. 

By the way, it was the biggest downer of my weekend since I had tickets to see them play at the Gabba Stadium (Brisbane, Queensland). 

Instead, the team flew to Victoria to play at the Melbourne Cricket Ground (Melbourne, Victoria).  Super bummed about that happening!  Nonetheless, the game showed on the teev and gave me something to get my heart rate up!

Since Sunday is our regular shopping day, we ducked out for the essentials we have missed in yesterday’s  (Day 212) dash to the store for groceries!

That’s the total of exciting events for the day.  The godson, who went in for a kidney stone operation, seems to be recovering well.  Things have finally gone his way.

Wonder what the cards had to say about today.  Let’s take a look.

Today's Cards

Snap. Day 213 Tabled list in order of appearance: Mind, Sharing, Projections, Schizophrenia, Existence, The Source, Going with the Flow, Compromise, Maturity, Ice-olation. Shuffle Standard

The Cards - Snap Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

It’s always an interesting exercise to find Projections in the Goal position.  How do you go about setting a Goal which is, “right, today I’m going to misread what other people are saying because I want them to be like me”?   You’d think this was more of a subconscious choice. 

I suppose with Mind in Now and Sharing as its influence, the sense of the Projections Goal could be made apparent.  Let me explain if Mind is confusion and, more specifically, my confusion, and Sharing is, well, Sharing.  If my thoughts are disoriented, I’m likely to misread other people’s cues.  And by misreading what other people are conveying, there’s the likelihood that I could spread confusion – in a Sharing, caring kind of way.  In turn, creating more work for everyone.

The mixed mental state comes from Schizophrenia in Distant Past when torn between wanting to travel to a locally played game of AFL or just stay at home.  It was most likely the decision on whether to buy tickets to the Swans v Essendon game.

Recently, I’d discovered an inner acceptance of my uniqueness.  I know, you’re asking, “you didn’t know that already?”.  Well, yes.  I knew I was unique – like everyone – but there’s a difference when you feel it – the moment of recognition displays by the Existence card appearing in the Recent Past spot.

Future Energy coming out of Mind’s confusion is getting back to The Source.  Because the cards sometimes need to display continuity of a particular type of energy, The Source is an echo of Existence and is its continuation.  

I think it’s fair to say the Cross component of the layout is all about the confusion generated by a snap lockdown and finding your weekend plans – or work plans, for that matter – upended.

Base

Going with the Flow is in the Feelings position, and it further supports the flowing nature of Mind not fighting the day’s direction but sitting back and enjoying the drift.

Others’ Views are of me making Compromise.  I don’t think this card needs any explanation.  Going into the snap lockdown forced a bunch of Compromises.

Hopes & Fears has the card of Maturity.  Maturity symbolises my hope that South-East Queenslanders, learning from what’s been happening around the country and world, exhibit the Maturity required to stay or “behave” while in this lockdown.  I fear that one moment of someone’s carelessness will result in a stupid decision causing COVID-19 Delta to spread and force a longer lockdown.

Appropriately, Ice-olation appears for our isolation.  For today, I’m going to simply read this off its face value that the lockdown saddens me.  The concern over the snap lockdown is because they have a “mysterious” occurrence of Delta appearing in a sufferer.  A mysterious case simply means the contact or connection is currently untraceable. 

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 213

Day 212 – JC Slaughter Falls & Snap Lockdown

Saturday, 31 July 2021

JC Slaughter. Day 212 layout list in order of appearance: The Creator, Healing, Understanding, Traveling, Patience, Awareness, Past Lives, Possibilities, We are the World, Ordinariness.

JC Slaughter Falls Context

Two days after the Bonfire Yoga class (Day 210), I’m feeling good and pumped to do some more ankle challenging activities.  Today, we planned a bush walk of JC Slaughter Falls from base to summit.  

Since the last lockdown at the end of June (Day 180), it’s been mandatory to walk around with masks indoors and outdoors unless you’re participating in strenuous exercise.  The walk up to the summit counts as rugged.

We’ve (Queenslanders) been lucky to escape a lockdown, and it looks like the NSW’s Premier (Governor for you American folk) hasn’t acknowledged or believed that the Delta strain of COVID-19 is more contagious than the previous virus variants.  

So, Gladys Berejiklian implemented the old strategy of suppression rather than eradication, which worked for a time.  She probably thought it was impossible to eradicate COVID and opted for suppression instead. 

The Queensland Premier has always gone for eradication within her state.  If Gladys’ strategy had worked, she would have looked like a hero.  Unfortunately, Delta came along and has potentially changed things.  She has it under control at the moment, so here’s hoping it’ll pan out for her.  My mother will be distraught if her trip to Queensland postpones, yet again!  But that’s still two whole months away; I think she’ll be right.

JC Slaughter Falls

It was a beautiful sunny day and heading over to JC Slaughter Falls for a bushwalk.  For those from the UK reading this, a bushwalk in Australia is not walking through a heap of English Box bushes in a manicured English garden.  

In Australia, the bush is a path through the natural environment.  As you might be aware, Australia’s natural environment could mean encountering a wide variety of “unfriendly critters”.

The JC Slaughter Falls walk goes to Mt Coot-tha’s Summit, which provides a magnificent uninterrupted view overlooking Brisbane.  One of the good things about the path, it has a bit of everything.  The track is a partially groomed track with water drinking fountains along the way. There are steep bits and has some rocky areas as well.  This variety of terrain is perfect for working the ankle parts, which simply don’t get worked unless you do something different apart from a walk.

Getting to the walk is about a half-hour of suburban driving, giving us plenty of opportunities to listen to a decent audiobook.  The walk distance is about a four-kilometre round trip and takes about an hour from start to finish.  At the top is the previous summit, where you can grab a bite to eat and enjoy the view.  And that was out plan.

British Bush

British manicured bushes along a path evenly spaced

Australian Bush

Australian untamed bush with gumtrees and ground scrub on an incline

Enforced Change in Plans

Going to JC Slaughter Falls was cruisy, and the audiobook provided plenty of relaxing entertainment for the drive.  Once we arrived at the bottom carpark and picnic area, we put on our hydration packs and headed up the trail.  

As we were ordering lunch, we have overheard snippets of conversation that contained the word lockdown.  Initially, we thought it must be the NSW lockdown expanding.  The summit receives a large tourist trade, and the borders weren’t closed between NSW and Queensland, as far as we knew.

When we sat down waiting for lunch, we checked the news on my phone.  It turns out it wasn’t NSW; it was Queensland going into lockdown, and we had four hours to get home before its enforcement.

This shutdown was a serious lockdown, four hours! Typically lockdowns preparations were more extended, 72 hours or at least until 1:00 AM.

We finished our lunch and headed down JC Slaughter falls Summit track back to the car.  Our offices were on our route home, and we both had jobs where the office was accessible to us after hours; we swung by and grabbed IT equipment to work from home.   

The supermarkets are always open during a lockdown, so no need to panic buy.  However, our shopping day is Sunday.  We picked up some meal staples, and we were on our way to another lockdown.

Today's Cards

JC Slaughter. Day 212 Tabled list in order of appearance: The Creator, Healing, Understanding, Traveling, Patience, Awareness, Past Lives, Possibilities, We are the World, Ordinariness.

JC Slaughter Falls Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; Ordinariness moved from Now to Outcome.

Cross

The Creator is in the Now influenced by Healing and Understanding.  In the Distant Past has been Traveling, and Patience has been a virtue.  Awareness is in the Future Energy spots.

What does that mean against the context of the day?  The Creator is about working with the knowledge and skills you’ve learnt and encourages its expression.  With the Healing card as the influence, it appears there has been a lack of use when it comes to my ankle’s recovery. 

Since the walk was about Understanding how well my ankle would cope on a hike or trek, today was a test of whether all my exercises for its journey back to health were successful.  My husband thinks it might be me proving the point that I could have done the seven-day walk around the Northern Territory’s Larapinta ranges.  There could be a little of that, but I’m not going to admit it – even to myself. 🙈

The Traveling card either refers to when I broke my ankle back on Day 018 (18 January) or, more recently, the cancelled New Zealand trip.

Since my husband’s logic persuaded me to wait for the Larapinta trip, I have recently learnt Patience (Recent Past).  Maybe I should say newly reactivated Patience.  After all, I always have Patience.  Stop choking, darling, and by “darling”, I’m referring to those who know me. 😎

Base

My Feelings are that this confrontation or isolation is from my Past Lives, whether real or imagined.  In this case, Day 018, which feels like another lifetime ago, so much has happened, contributed to today’s walk.  There are other reasons, like enjoying the bush and getting fitter, but in a sense, they’re side-effects of testing my ankle.

Others’ Views; if I handle the Summit trek of JC Slaughter falls, it opens up my Possibilities.

Hopes & Fears are We are the World hoping that things will stay harmonious or restriction-free as we all head toward the common goal of reducing the effects of COVID to that of a common cold.  My fear is everyone will be out for themselves or suffer from suppression fatigue.

Finally, the Outcome is Ordinariness and getting back to the basics of lockdown and simply surviving.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Landscape images from Shutterstock
End Day 212

Day 211 – Settling for a Trip Close to Home

Friday, 30 July 2021

Settling. Day 211. Layout: order of appearance. Ordinariness, Compromise, Silence, Schizophrenia, Success, Totality, Maturity, Suppression, Breakthrough, The Miser. Standard Shuffle

Settling Context

Settling for a vacation on home soil when planning to travel to New Zealand just isn’t the same.  Coming from the Australian sunshine state, many of my compatriots don’t get the lure of a cold or snow holiday. 

The thing I need to remember is, at least I’m getting a vacation away from home.  COVID in other states and other countries has changed how we view recreation leave, but on the whole, Queenslanders around Brisbane don’t venture south.    

There are, of course, exceptions.  When I passed through Horne Island, a humidly tropical island near the equator and not too far from Darwin, I overheard some sweating airport officials describing their perfect vacation.  Locations mentioned were “Siberia” or the north or south poles, just anywhere “cold” was the conclusion. 

If you’ve ever watched the film Cool Runnings (1993), inspired by the Jamaican Bobsled team at the Winter Olympics in 1988, I doubt they’d be please when they got there.  When a friend of mine moved from Darwin to Brisbane (which is still considered hot and humid by most), his comment was he didn’t understand what cold was until he’s moved. 

So, I think the Horne Island officials should settle for somewhere not as cold sounding; they might be surprised by something closer to home.

What Queensland Hasn't Got

Don’t get me wrong; the southern parts of Queensland can get cold; there’s been ice, snow, and everything.  Australia, specifically Queensland, doesn’t have one thing, and that’s a high mountain to go skiing on.  I read somewhere Australia boasts one of the world’s smallest highest mountains, but that’s not in Queensland. 🥲

And while Australia does get more snow than Switzerland, it’s a fact often brushed aside by my Swiss relatives, until they find out the height of our highest mountain, a mere 2,228 m (7,309 feet).  The extra snow results from being closer to the coast, and possibly the larger surface area could account for the amount of snow.

Getting back to my point, sure, you can go west and have a fireplace, curl on a lounge in flannel pyjamas with a hot chocolate and marshmallows, but you can’t go skiing.  At first, we had to face the reality about not skiing in Australia; then, we settled for somewhere else. 

 

Finally, vacationing in Queensland was one of our options.  As our world became smaller, we were going to be fortunate to get away at all.  There was definitely a short trip in whatever mountains were available to us. We’ll head south-westward to visit a friend and put those pyjamas to work

Somewhere Else

If you’ve read Day 208, you’ll know that my husband wasn’t keen on my alternative to going to the Red Centre for a walking holiday for the same period.  My husband’s former vacations have all been ritzier than the ones I where I eked out time.  He has since advised that if this were in a year and my ankle was better, and we were both fitter, he wouldn’t have an issue – I guess he’s had time to think about it!  

As a compromise to the ski trip’s alternative desire to do more walking and exercise my ankle, and my husband’s desire to be somewhere comfortable, we settled on O’Reilly’s Rainforest Retreat. It’s comfortable all around, including being only a two-hour drive from us. 

O’Reilly’s has stunning views, the price is a fifth of the cost of New Zealand, is half the duration away, but has bushwalks and the comforts of a fireplace, spa and lots of wonderful, wonderful peace. It’s something we can settle on for the time being.

It’ll have to do.

Today's Cards

Settle. Day 211. Tabled list: order of appearance. Ordinariness, Compromise, Silence, Schizophrenia, Success, Totality, Maturity, Suppression, Breakthrough, The Miser. Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Settling Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Ordinariness moved from Outcome to Now, and Schizophrenia moved from Future Energy to the Distant Past.

Cross

Ordinariness moving to the Now fulfils the Outcome from yesterday but is influenced by Compromise.  Ordinariness was our annual ski trip.  The Compromise was between a vacation or no vacation, and the Goal was to find Silence or peace. 

The indecision of Schizophrenia which was there yesterday, is now only a memory in the Distant Past.  The Success of settling on a good holiday location in the Recent Past makes way for Totality of acceptance in Future Energy.

Base

I feel like reaching a mutually agreeable decision is the grown-up thing to do; it shows Maturity.

Others’ Views, presumably those of my husband, might be that I am holding back on maybe my frustration or a little on my true feelings.  Thus, the card of Suppression occupies this spot.

Hopes & Fears has the card of Breakthrough, which indicates I’m glad of the Breakthrough and am secretly hoping this COVID situation will just blow over with a decent lockdown.  After all, Ms Berejiklian (State Premier of New South Wales – NSW) has usually limited the spread by locking down areas. 

Apparently, the Delta strain is different and more contagious.  In conclusion, I hope the variant isn’t as bad, and the borders can open up for a last-minute ski trip.  However, I fear this will not be the case if the numbers go up.

The Outcome is The Miser.   Funnily, the thing that happened when the New Zealand trip got cancelled, we became more tight-fisted with spending money on another trip.  It could be because we haven’t gotten our refund yet.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 211

Day 210 – It’s time to Bonfire Yoga!

Thursday, 29 July 2021

Bonfire. Day 210. Layout: order of appearance. Stress, Comparison, The Source, Beyond Illusion, Sharing, Schizophrenia, We are the World, Patience, Harmony, Ordinariness. Washing Machine

Bonfire Context

Bonfire Yoga – I so needed it!

Six and a bit months ago, I broke my ankle, and for all the positivity I directed toward my healing, the experienced voices of the professionals has overridden my determination.   My ankle is still stiff, and the stretching has become no more than simply performing a rotation or two and pointing the toes whenever possible Okay, it’s a little more than that, but not much more.   I needed yoga, and the best form of it for my body was Bonfire Yoga.  

So, what is hot yoga?  It’s yoga performed at 29ºC (84.2ºF), and Bonfire Yoga ups the ante by getting you to complete 27 poses in 55 minutes (five minutes is for end of session meditation).  To be honest, it’s the best part, and the meditation only works that well if you’ve done the class.  It’s like the stretching and sweating clears your mind as you focus solely on the moves and your breath.

It’s incredible just how quickly your muscles can atrophy if you’re not using them.  Yoga poses that I once performed with ease were now challenging.  The other part I had forgotten about was the mirrors and the face you need to confront in them.  A red, bloated, sweaty and uncoordinated stance stood staring back at me – OMG, where did my balance go!

Nonetheless, I felt good about going to the session.  I’d been scared to go, more because of the effect it would have on my ankle than my ego.  Sometimes, I do this crazy thing by keeping pace with others in the class; the problem is they’re regulars and usually experienced.  The thing is, I’m nowhere in their league, but it pushes me to better myself. 

Evergreen

Pushing myself involves part belief I can get better and part delusion about my skills.  Although the instructor wasn’t encouraging, commenting, “I’d like to say it gets easier, but it doesn’t”.   Was he trying to discourage me from coming to class? 

I thought it was a strange comment, although I took it to mean because you’re permanently striving, it’s always going to get more complicated.  For instance, today, it might be the tree pose with one foot on your thigh and hands in front of your chest.  Tomorrow it might be a tree pose with both hands in clasped above your head. 

It was the latter, or I’ve become like “Evergreen”.  Evergreen was the nickname of a middle-aged guy (behind his back) with poor flexibility who attended the same karate lessons as me.  Every week he’d rock up to karate and say he’d been working on his kick’s and their height, and each week none of us spotted any difference.  

Evergreen’s kicks were always about kneecap level, and he easily could have done some damage, but he wasn’t going to be kicking anyone in the guts anytime soon.  We liked Evergreen, and we all sought to encourage him by supporting his perception.   By the way, he got the name Evergreen because it was his belt colour, and in the five years we knew him, it hadn’t changed.  Nor had his dedication to the sport.  He gave every lesson 100% for personal fitness and kicks.  🙈.  Maybe this is me now.  

Today's Cards

Bonfire. Day 210. Tabled list: order of appearance. Stress, Comparison, The Source, Beyond Illusion, Sharing, Schizophrenia, We are the World, Patience, Harmony, Ordinariness. Washing Machine

The Cards - Bonfire Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

Stress is in the Now influenced by Comparison with the Goal of getting back to The Source.  The Stress was me anticipating going to a Bonfire Yoga lesson.  Comparison is what was causing the Stress, and my reason for going to the class in the first place was to get back to The Source.  The Source was my foundational state before my ankle getting broken.

During a chrysalis of realisation that the experts were right in the Distant Past (Beyond Illusion), I need to change how I exercised the broken ankle.

The change took the form of Sharing what other’s learnt or their Sharing of ideas and support forced me to consider going to Bonfire Yoga.  Going to yoga, or the idea of going to yoga, caused the Stress now felt.  And the comment made by the instructor put me back in two minds about going again (Schizophrenia in Future Energy). 

Base

My Feelings on the situation is I needed to go, and I will continue to go (I hope).  Working with the Bonfire Yoga team will help me to improve (We are the World).

Others’ Views are that with Patience, healing will take place.  Time will show improvements in the ankle, and I have to stop comparing myself to others healing journeys.  Not comparing yourself is so VERY difficult!

Harmony is in the Hopes & Fears spot.  By listening to my heart, I hope to overcome the real or imagined discouragement and return to the practice.  My biggest fear is I will somehow find excuses taking on the form of self-sabotage.

Finally, Ordinariness is in the Outcome position.  Maybe this is a sign that going to Bonfire Yoga will become part of ordinary life?

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Links

Day 122 –  Dog Yoga, another attempt at yoga.

End Day 210

Day 209 – Customer-Driven Improvement

Wednesday, 28 July 2021

Day 209. In order of appearance: Intensity, Breakthrough, Transformation, Fighting, Maturity, Thunderbolt, Awareness, Letting Go, Friendliness, Sorrow. Washing Machine

Customer-Driven Context

Some days you think you’re spuddling (a Susie Dent “word of the day”, Day 205), working ineffectively while being busy and achieving nothing, or spend the day chasing your tail.  The day feels like that, but sometimes you surprise yourself by accomplishing something.  That was my day today. 

In response to a demanding customer (not pushy or rude, just a customer with high expectations), I spent the day pursuing a process that has been in place for what seems like eons.  Emails and phone conversations went back and forth until I got all the information.  I then compiled it up in an easy-to-read format.  The customer gave me more information when we engaged in intelligent conversation.  A good process was the output.  

Culturally known working processes give the appearance of having a documented workflow.  By the end of the day, the process obvious to everyone internally was not referenceable.   When I sought to clarify the process with the documented one, I discovered it was undocumented.  So, I got a sense of accomplishment with a few tweaks and placing it into the central process repository. 

This sense of accomplishment came as a surprise to me because I’d started thinking I’d lost the day.  It’s a process that needed capturing and would become valuable for customers when they understand our area’s “verbal folklore”. 

The exchange reminded me of customer-driven changes and how a demanding or disgruntled customer can push you to improve your system and organisation.  Admittedly, some customers will never be happy.  As a mentor once said to me, as long as the customer provides feedback, they want to continue to deal with you – even if their input is critical and their vocals say something completely different.

Today's Cards

Spuddle. Day 209. Table In order of appearance: Intensity, Breakthrough, Transformation, Fighting, Maturity, Thunderbolt, Awareness, Letting Go, Friendliness, Sorrow. Washing Machine

The Cards - Customer-Driven Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Breakthrough moved from Feelings to Influence, and Transformation was in Goal and stayed right where it was.

Cross

Intensity, the little spitfire card, is in the Now and influenced by a Breakthrough.  A Transformation from one way of being to another is the Goal. 

When placed against the day’s events, these elements look like; Intensity is the seriousness and passion I have for helping out the customer.  The Breakthrough influenced my love when I realised that in helping the customer, I was also helping my future self.  The Transformation happened due to the process and was what I wanted to achieve with the customer.

While the Distant Past shows Fighting but more recently, I’ve gained some Maturity and am more balanced to face a Thunderbolt in Future Energy.

The cards have accurately identified where in the past I would have been over-defensive and bitten back.  In applying restraint on my comments and listening (Maturity), I was able to turn the day change from frustrating to satisfying.

Base

After Maturity developed in the Recent Past, it enabled me to identify Feelings of Awareness of the change, notably, around what has been causing the sensitivity and putting me on tenterhooks.

Others’ Views are witnessing me Letting Go.  I clung to the belief that our area would capture the process; it was so good at delivering and knowing what to do.  My defensive side avoided looking at the truth.  Letting Go was possible because of the customer-driven improvement.

Hopes & Fears has the Friendliness card, and I hope the customer viewed the exchange in a friendly manner.  After all, we were both able to assist each other.  The opposite side of the hope coin is the fear my response wasn’t satisfactory.

Finally, the Outcome was Sorrow.  Sorrow was at realising there are more folklore processes left to uncover and capture, and their discovery won’t happen until there is a customer-driven need.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 209

Day 208 – From the Cancellation of NZ – Opportunity!

Tuesday, 27 July 2021

Day 209. Opportunity. Layout In order of appearance: Intensity, Breakthrough, Transformation, Fighting, Maturity, Thunderbolt, Awareness, Letting Go, Friendliness, Sorrow. Washing Machine

Opportunity Context

It’s Official.  The New Zealand ski trip has had the flights cancelled by the airline.  On Day 204, I was devastated by the cancellation news; today’s confirmation provided an opportunity.  I’ve wanted to visit the Northern Territory,  for some time, and the Larapinta Trail Walking Tour seemed like my perfect substitute vacation.  It was quite the discovery to realise my husband saw things differently.

In my mid to late twenties, I travelled extensively on adventure holidays.  These vacations usually gave me the longest time away in another country and got me closer to the non-touristy culture in the safest way possible.  

The long trips were because the countries had a superexchange rate against the Australian dollar; plus, you were camping and providing transport (your own feet and legs). Why wouldn’t you take the opportunity to stay longer and see more?  Okay, there were other modes of travel, like camels across the desert, train trips, elephant safaris, white water rafting down rivers, bicycles, and trucks like I mentioned on Day 188.  But there were also treks.

TV series like, Naked and Afraid, Eco-Challenge Fiji, Long Way Round, Amazing Race, Travel Guides Australia/ New Zealand, and Travel Around the World, only fuel my desire to relive past elements to experience somewhere new.  When New Zealand’s cancellation confirmation came through, this was my opportunity. 

Nothing but Positives

All I could see were benefits.  The timing, I thought, was serendipitous since it was inside the exact dates we had booked for New Zealand.  The exercise level was introductory to moderate, and the cost initially appeared the same.  And, I would be exercising my ankle regularly, and there would be no hampering reason or ready-made excuse of, “I don’t feel like it” to avoid it. 

Getting away from junk food and eating healthy for a week would be a bonus.  It would be an excellent way to detox and lose weight with a bit of luck.  The detox wouldn’t just apply to the physical it would provide a mental detox as well. 

We would learn more about the indigenous population, get back to nature, the weather would be good, read or listen to a couple of good books, and hopefully sleep under the stars.  The best part would be no cooking, carrying bags (except a day pack) and arriving at a new destination with everything ready to go – camping posh-like.

An Alternative View

Except, and it’s a big EXCEPT, my husband didn’t see the cancellation and opportunity in the same way.  The flames of enthusiasm got tested.  Something so natural to me was something alien to my husband.  

It took me by surprise that our ideas of vacations varied so much.  Thrown, how had we gotten this far in the relationship to realise our vacations styles were at odds with each other?  Sure, assumptions happened when underdeveloped countries we travelled to for SCUBA trips hadn’t phased him.   Okay, it’s gold class roughing it. 

The big awakening was when I realised my husband’s travel experiences, before me, all had an air of sophistication.  That’s okay; there have been those in my past too.  However, I forget that not everyone wants to have the holidays I have.  While the type of trip I went on wasn’t too radical or unusual, there are fewer travellers on this slightly riskier trail – even the gold class version.     

But when I was young, I had to choose where to spend my money, and to my youthful mind, length of travel was more important than “quality” of travel.  Hope that makes sense.   Although I’d argue the quality I received was equal to any of the more sophisticated travel adventures.   

Reality versus Fantasy

After a long chat around the fact, my go-to holiday might just be an “ideal but never really happen to my holiday” from my husband’s perspective.  My husband confirmed the trip style had thrown him, as did my willingness to just jump at the opportunity without any preparation.   

However, it was the first time he’d had to consider the option.  He’d decided it wasn’t something he was against doing or trying, but his concern was around my physical fitness.

Was I really ready for this trip with the state of my ankle?  If I were honest with myself and try to be, I would need another month’s preparation before going on the trek.  The extra month would allow us the opportunity to practise and increase our fitness levels and be confident we weren’t embarking on a trip beyond our skill level.  Sadly, we don’t have the extra month or the opportunity to push it out.  Bugger!  (Day 188)

Today's Cards

Opportunity. Day 208. Tabled list: order of appearance. The Fool, Suppression, Transformation, Inner Voice, Change, Guidance, Breakthrough, Adventure, Celebration, Existence. Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Opportunity Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

The Fool is Now making plans without looking at the potential impact; he is loftily dreaming of a “red centre” escape. 😁  Suppression impacts The Fool’s enthusiasm from taking full flight.

I am pursuing my Goal of Transformation, where I change the inactive state of current existence and the cancelled active holiday to another that included being active.

This Change happened in the Recent Past when the New Zealand trip got cancelled.  Further, in the Distant Past, it was about listening to my Inner Voice for these types of trips.  The good thing is the apparent misalignment of trip styles came out into the open.

It also looks like the Change (Recent Past = cancellation of the trip) triggered the Transformation (Goal = new journey). 

Guidance is the Future Energy, suggesting help for another vacation from Renae, the fantastic travel agent, could be on the cards 😉.

Base

My Feelings about the whole interaction today is one of Breakthrough.  Had the situation not arisen, my husband and I may not have talked about my longing for the occasional walkabout travel.

Others’ Views is Adventure.  Today, more than usual, the image strikes me as a vulnerable child heading off on an Adventure.  It may very well be how I was perceived today.

The Hopes & Fears spot has the Celebration card.  Celebration is what my emotions did today.  The excitement is hope for a familiar but new Adventure and the fear that it won’t be possible or conducive to uptake.  Or simply reality setting in that my ankle’s healing hasn’t been put to any rigorous testing to know whether it could hold up on a sustained walking trip in central Australia. 

Existence is in the Outcome position and captures that interconnectedness between yourself and time, realising that no one in the world can be you, past, present, or future.  It initially caused the disparity in views but talking about it when thrown and rallying from the disconnect.  Luckily, there is also no one else like my husband, and between us, we could talk it out. 

So, I don’t know what opportunity will present itself or if we will ever go on my kind of walking vacation – it might end up being just me, but we’ll see.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Links

Tarot Day Layouts
Travel Guides Australia (TV Series) My notions were inspired n part by Season 1, Episode 5, “Top End” and Season 4, Episode 2, “Red Centre”)

End Day 208

Day 207 – Being Visible and Working

Monday, 26 July 2021

Visible. Day 207. Layout In order of appearance: Compromise, Experiencing, Totality, Silence, Completion, Sorrow, Conditioning, Thunderbolt, Sharing, The Dream. Standard Shuffle

Visible Context

Work from home or families who have a mix of distances can have challenges, mainly to appear to be visibly contributing to the team.

The topic on my mind today is the strange need in us to see people “doing” things or simply being visible.  And whether we like it or not, being seen as working or caring is essential in the “work from home” COVID world.  That visibility or lack thereof can affect our reputations and limit us from getting things we want.

We don’t want or like to judge people on appearances, but we do nonetheless.  The perception may not matter to you, and therefore you may think you don’t judge.  In reality, we do form opinions and make decisions to care or not care about particular perceptions.  A lack of visible, tangible output leads to perceptions of laziness when it’s not the case.

These are expectations that apply both at home and at work.  When you’re part of a team or a family, not being visible in pulling your weight can cause quiet resentment.  No one in my sphere likes confrontation.  Some family members then resort to passive-aggressive behaviour to try and communicate their expectations. 

Others might resort to bullying and perhaps a little passive-aggressiveness, in the hope of, as my mum would say, “putting a bomb under you”.  If it is repetitive, although well-meaning, it can be crippling for the recipient.  In some instances, it can cause the recipient to dig their heels, and avoiding confrontation escalates to the next highest authority. 

There are those members of the family who want to stir the pot and walk away.  For these same members, there’s hell to pay if they’re in someone else’s cookpot and get jibed themselves about a lack of visibility or output.

Impacts of Non-visibility

So, what do you do when a family member struggles with the fanfare, and you’re the only one to whom they will communicate and respond?  To you, the person is contributing and visible.  For a while, you become their PR persona, justifying and defending their actions, knowing even a tiny part of you wishes they would just be a little more visible.  After all, you’re not the only other member of the family.

By the way, this is just a reflection on past events.  Sometimes, something triggers the sequence of thought, and I follow it.  If I’m thinking of it when I write my blog, then I write about it.  Voila!  Visibility is important even if, to you, it seems like an empty gesture.

Now, I know the counterargument if you keep pandering to those who want visibility, you’re continuing to feed the habit, and that’s true.  But I don’t know how to break the cycle.  At this point, the argument switches to people being true to themselves, but if it stresses the person you’re communicating with and forcing them to defend you, you’re robbing them of their right to be themselves. 

It is putting the reputation they want to generate at risk as well.  The contact you like might not be visible too.  For instance, if the person says they’ve talked to you about a family event, and you don’t show or make an attempt at awareness, you’re hurting them.

Taking the philosophical approach that it’ll work out, in the end, doesn’t suit the people who want to see action.  I wish I had the answer, but I suspect even having a tough conversation would be challenging.

It’s funny how this can relate to the work environment as well as the home one.

Today's Cards

Visible. Day 207. Table In order of appearance: Compromise, Experiencing, Totality, Silence, Completion, Sorrow, Conditioning, Thunderbolt, Sharing, The Dream. Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Visible Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; The Dream moved from Feelings to Outcome.

Cross

The day starts with the Goal of Totality and Compromise in the Now influenced by Experiencing.  When you start the day with one direction, and it changes due to life simply happening, you Compromised and the Totality you wanted to dedicate to your original task.  Having to deal with visibility and whether people think I’m working at it is always a challenge.  No news is good news .

From the Silence of mind in Distant Past to Completion in Recent Past, they are making way for Now’s Compromise and Sorrow in Future Energy.

Silence is keeping to oneself, and trusting others to hold themselves accountable was an approach I valued in the Distant Past.  When activities finish, expectations and visibility change, and that’s just part of Experiencing life.  With modifications, there’s a sense of loss when a Compromise occurs; sometimes, it’s like selling a part of your soul, and Sorrow ensues.

Base

My Feelings are Conditioning taints the perspective I and others have of some situations, and these are possibly outmoded. 

Others’ Views is me experiencing a lot of physical changes, impacting my typical calm and is reflected by the card of Thunderbolt. 

Hopes & Fears has the card of Sharing.  Sharing as hope is I’d like to encourage some tolerance and compassion, and I fear that my hands are tied because I cannot say anything to alleviate the tension.

The Outcome is The Dream and the illusion everything will just blow over since The Dream was the card in yesterday’s Hopes & Fears spot, and it moved to the Outcome.  I could surmise, yesterday’s fear has come to fruition in some way. 

It was a wish to have things blow over without intervention, but The Dream indicates my perspective has rose-coloured glasses.  It looks like the philosophical approach isn’t going to work, being visible in resolving issues also has a fine line when you have confidentiality to consider.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Links

Daily Tarot Layouts by Month

End Day 207

Day 206 – Getting to an AFL Game amid Corona

Sunday, 25 July 2021

Day 206. AFL Game. In order of appearance: The Fool, Ripeness, Possibilities, Beyond Illusion, Clinging to the Past, Awareness, The Dream, Fighting, Projections, Past Lives. Standard Shuffle

Game Context

Today was a treat.  I watched my Australian Rules Football (AFL) team, the Sydney Swans, play in a stadium, thanks to the lifting of COVID restrictions.  It was special for me because the team rarely gets to play in the state I live in more than once every two years – if I’m lucky. 

We booked the tickets intending for Al, a godson and fellow Swans supporter, and his girlfriend to come along.  That was Thursday.  Since then, his kidney stone operation didn’t go as smoothly as we’d hoped.  On Saturday, he was back in hospital to have the inflexible and roaming stent removed.  The stent dropped from his kidneys and began putting pressure on his bladder, which caused it to spasm.   

Alas, he was unable to make the game because he was having an operation at the same time.   Although Queensland lifted its border restrictions, my godson’s mother, Susie, who lived just south of the border, could not visit him in hospital.  Susie had plenty of contact with Al, just not of a physical kind.  As a poor substitute, we called him after the game.   It was to see how he was faring after surgery. 

Sportsmanship amongst Spectators

One of the things I love about going to an AFL game is the camaraderie that forms when you connect with other people who love sport – regardless of the team.  Our seat selection placed us next to other Swans supporters, a long-time supporter of 66 years.   

The thing that struck me was the difference in the approach to being a supporter.  Our long-term supporter sitting near us liked to go down the path of shouting at the umpires to get glasses.  Sure, I’m guilty of these accusations, but only at home from my lounge chair.  And I’m even right some of the time, mostly though I’m deliberately obtuse.

The other thing AFL had over my origin state’s dominant code National Rugby League (NRL), was that fans and supporters mostly respected the umpires.  Sure, there’s fun in blaming the authoritative representative over your team’s poor play or momentary stupidity.   Or worse, still having to admit the other team is playing better!  Don’t bring that brand of reasonableness to the game!  Nah-uh!

Yet, my support philosophy encompasses a good play is a good play, regardless of the side who played it.  And sure, I wish it had been my team that played it, but games by design typically have a winner and a loser.  When I go to a game of AFL where my team is playing, I try to yell words of encouragement to my team instead of hurling abuse.  The stakes are why you follow, to get the highs and feel the lows.  The rollercoaster of emotions either playing or supporting.  Oh, and lows can be so very low!

Keeping Abuse Away

Now, I keep my umpire abuse confined to the home environment because I deeply respect the umpires.  It amazes me how quickly they have to make a call.  The referees do not have the luxury of anticipating a state of play like a supporter on the sidelines.  Umpires need to focus on the actual event and make decisions literally while on the run.  Sometimes they trip up and see something that hasn’t happened, or from the angle, they’re viewing, making the wrong call.  👀

Nobody likes going to work and getting abused by random strangers.  Hurling abuse at strangers and players just isn’t “cricket” (refer to Notes).  Whether we like it or not, the players and the umpires will work, and the field is their job.  Yes, they get paid to go onto the field and do their jobs, but they do not get paid to take abuse.  Players with a good mindset can use the energy thrown at them and improve their performance. 

By the end of today’s game, there was great playful energy in the crowd, regardless of support strategy.  It was fun to get out into the sunshine and appreciate the excellent competition.

Today's Cards

Game AFL. ay 206. In order of appearance: The Fool, Ripeness, Possibilities, Beyond Illusion, Clinging to the Past, Awareness, The Dream, Fighting, Projections, Past Lives. Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Game Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; Clinging to the Past, has come to fruition and moved from Future Energy to Recent Past.

Cross

The Fool is in the Now influenced by Ripeness.  At day’s beginning was the Goal of Possibilities.  Who’d have known a visit to the hospital was going to be a possible option waiting to happen.  The Fool was me taking the opportunity to book an AFL game at a stadium.  The timing, however, was right in a world of COVID-19 uncertainty.   I set about opening us to Possibilities rather than sitting at home.

I bought the tickets in a bid to recreate the magic of friendship experienced long ago.  It’s me Clinging to the Past (Recent Past).   The notion came from the Distant Past, where I grew the idea from a seedling, Beyond Illusion.

Future Energy has a growing Awareness of an intuition of sorts, but I’m not sure what it is yet.  It’s like a “meant to be-ness”, along the lines of fatalism but not to an extreme.

Base

The Dream are my Feelings about the circumstances; I had some romantic notions of attending the game and how it would turn out.  Also, perhaps my perception of helping my godson out seemed more romantic in my head than it worked out in reality.

Others’ Views is that they felt they needed to tread on eggshells around me, in case I got tetchy; this is what the Fighting card says, anyway.  I may have hung around a little too long at dinner, and my godson, who is too polite to ask me to leave so he could eat, might have been afraid to offend me.  I would not have been offended, but he doesn’t know that, I suppose.

Hopes & Fears is Projections.  Many today’s cards are about illusion or self-delusion, that is, The Dream, Projections, Clinging to the Past and even the Outcome card Past Lives hint at fear or refusal to look at changing happening Now.  Perhaps The Fool has more to it than simply buying football tickets to the stadium. 

My fear is I’m refusing to look at something, heart palpitations, and then projecting a haughty denial onto others, pretending I’m in tune with my mind and body (I’m good at this one).  I hope someone else is doing this to me 🤔.

Past Lives is the Outcome.  If I read Past Lives in conjunction with Awareness, perhaps there’s a breaking away of an old habit picked up somewhere in my past. 

Again, I’m referring to Past Lives as in this lifetime’s many incarnations, not those associated with reincarnation.  Although, there could be some of those past lives in the picture.  Delving into more than one lifetime seems burdensome rather than helpful in most cases.  Besides, most people like to think of having lives where they had significance.  Nobody wants to know if they were a horrible person in a past existence!

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Notes

Cricket was a game played by gentlemen.  British well-mannered Brits would rise above pettiness and simply play the ball always being polite, no matter how dire the circumstances.  This included cheating included not cheating – tis would be beneath them.  Thus, t was done for the five-day tests too.  The facade never crumbled, it was “CRICKET”.   

End Day

Day 205 – Spuddle and the Chair Cover Project

Saturday, 24 July 2021

Spuddle. Day 205. Layout: order of appearance. Creativity, Flowering, Moment to Moment, Mind, Breakthrough, Clinging to the Past, Schizophrenia, Sharing, Control, Inner Voice. Washing Machine

Spuddle Context

Don’t you hate it when you almost get something finished and then you have to wait a time for it to completely finish?!  That’s what happened today.  You know that cover I was trying to reverse engineer on Day 192?  At the time, my husband recommended simply sewing a sleeve rather than wrestling the complex original design?  Well, I made the sleeve with a tricky fabric, but it worked out beautifully.   After yesterday’s news about New Zealand’s cancellation, I needed a distraction, so I spuddled.

What can I say is life spuddled*, “extremely busy whilst achieving absolutely nothing” (Susie Dent).  Spuddle is a great word because it reminds me of spud, the spud is a potato, and potato is like a couch potato.  As a couch potato, you typically don’t accomplish too much in the day.  Spuddle is busy completing the same thing – only with more steps.

With that said, I’m simply going to do the analysis, and perhaps something interesting will unfold as I work through the cards.

Today's Cards

Spuddle. Day 205. Tabled list: order of appearance. Creativity, Flowering, Moment to Moment, Mind, Breakthrough, Clinging to the Past, Schizophrenia, Sharing, Control, Inner Voice. Washing Machine

The Cards - Spuddle Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; Inner Voice moved from Now to Outcome.

Cross

Creativity sits in the Now, and Flowering is the Influence.  Connecting these cards to today’s activity, Creativity makes the chair sleeve design, and Flowering is the sleeve becoming a reality.

The Goal position has Moment to Moment, and this is how spuddling happened today – just following each moment as it happened.

The recent past chair sleeve change in design gave me the Breakthrough I needed to get the job closer to completion.

All of this activity has been driven by a brain fart back on Day 192 when I thought I’d replace the deteriorating fabric on a chair – making me wonder what my Mind was thinking in the Distant Past.

So, what kind of energy does that generate in the future?  The Future Energy is Clinging to the Past, which could mean I’m going to pine for the old chair or the old design.   There have been moments.

Base

Continuing the last thought of “there have been moments” where my Feelings during the process have had me at war with myself.  The card of Schizophrenia echoes the Clinging to the Past and inability to let go – I think I’m struggling to let go of the design even though the new design is better. 

Others’ Views is of Sharing, and I have no idea how to relate this card to today’s activities.  Therefore, I’m going to have to leave it uncommentable.  Or maybe it’s the business created by spuddling that looks like Sharing.  No?  Okay, I’ll leave it.

Control is in the Hopes & Fears position and relates to the Clinging to the Past and Schizophrenia cards.  The inability to let go can stem from a fear of letting go and the unknown new world once you let go – that’s the risk, isn’t it. 

My hope is I will see the resulting product and embrace it.  My other fear is that I’ll let the “going back to redo” the original get forgotten because the current problem is under control.

The Outcome is Inner Voice; when there are conflicting emotions, the Inner Voice card reminds me to centre myself, get rid of the voice, and find out what I need to do.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 205

Day 204 – Devastated by Cancellation of NZ Trip

Friday, 23 July 2021

Devastated. Day 204. Layout: order of appearance. Inner Voice, Compromise, Aloneness, Exhaustion, Totality, Ordinariness, The Fool, Integration, Friendliness, Patience. Washing Machine

Devastated Context

Back on Day 170, we booked to go to New Zealand.  Going to New Zealand was something we were looking forward to, but its cancellation devastated me.  An appreciation of this feeling only occurs when you’re experiencing the dashing of your hopes first-hand.

I Got News

Anyway, I was devastated at finding out COVID has forced New Zealand’s hand to close the border to Australian visitors, not only closing it but closing it for two months!  The decision by the NZ Prime Minister wouldn’t have been easy, but two months!  What about a week at a time, or even let’s review in a fortnight?

At my husband’s work, two girls travelling to New Zealand on Monday received cancellation texts.  In perspective, these girls would have been devastated to my “it’s still a month away”.  But because we all live in individual worlds and our pain and suffering are relevant to the environments we live in, I will leave their devastation to them and instead wallow in mine. 

Until my husband texted me with the “poop” emoji, I hadn’t realised how much I had been looking forward to going on our trip.  Devastated!  It’s how I feel.  There is no better word for the way I’m feeling.  Oh, okay.  Maybe words like heartbroken, gutted, devastated, saddened and devastated.  There, see, I tried to find another word.

Fortunately, it looks like we’ll get a full refund of the accommodation because we’re inside the refund window.  The flights might need to postpone to another day when we can visit New Zealand.  The date we were looking to for our second trip was February 2022.

So, this is how my mum felt when her trip to me got cancelled the first time, and I can now only imagine it being worse the second or third time.  No wonder she felt like the Premier of Queensland was targeting her specific local government area.  And to think, I laughed at my mum’s frustration.  It was partly to ease her hurt, another to laugh, or otherwise, it would be crying.

Numerology and Timing

Suppose my numerology theory holds that anything beginning on the 19th might finish on the 22nd.  The hypothesis needs testing on a larger scale.  To date, it’s focussed on localised issues on my projects, which seem simple on the 19th and should finish quickly, end up dragging out and resolving on the 22nd. 

The issues aren’t always significant dramas or particularly troublesome; it’s just sometimes there’s a delay with a critical person being in the way or a weekend being in the middle; there’s always something.  This issue to resolution timeframe estimation is when I notice the consistent timeframes. 

Maybe it’s simply my awareness of the two “karmic” numbers, and I watch them more closely, which is more likely.  It’s like conformational bias, where you seek information to support your belief.  When it comes to COVID, it’s wishful thinking. 

Today's Cards

Devastated. Day 204. Tabled list: order of appearance. Inner Voice, Compromise, Aloneness, Exhaustion, Totality, Ordinariness, The Fool, Integration, Friendliness, Patience. Washing Machine

The Cards - Devastated Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; Totality moved from Others’ Views to Recent Past.

Cross

Listening to my Inner Voice, I could feel this change brewing.  Australia couldn’t possibly escape the COVID-19 Delta strain completely.  Trading a skiing holiday abroad for one close to home is a Compromise, and Compromise is undoubtedly the influence at present.

Aloneness is the Goal, and perhaps this was my hope that we would be alone in our ability to escape the restrictions.  We still have time.  Jacinda Ardhern, New Zealand’s Head of Government, was definite with a two-month border closure to and from Australia.  Darn.  I’m/ we’re devastated.

In a state of Exhaustion in the Distant Past, the inspiration for revival in New Zealand was born.

The trip became a reality more recently (Recent Past) as we paid for it in Totality.  Totality meant we would also be invested in its pursuit and let down with its cancellation.  So, here we are, compromising and listening to our Inner Voice, saying the borders remain shut.

The Future Energy is Ordinariness.  Oh, dear.  I believe this card was my favourite, but it’s trying its hardest to show how Ordinariness can be frustrating as well as beautiful.   When life hands you lemons, make a lemon cocktail. 🍸

Base

My Feelings on the whole situation is we played The Fool and this time in a non-exploratory fashion.  Oh wait, it was exploratory in terms of leaping; now The Fool works on many levels.

Others’ Views is of Integration.  Working the vacation into our existing environment instead of going outward, we need to go inward.  We can do this!

Hopes & Fears are focussed on the refund at this point, or more correctly, how much of a refund we will get.  Friendliness seems to imply there is hope we get back almost everything.  However, our/I fear that we’ve lost some money in taking the risk to book our trip during COVID.  Another worry is, travelling overseas at the moment is becoming a scary prospect.

And the Outcome card being Patience is not unexpected.  Many things need to happen, and there’s no rush for them to occur.  Patience means waiting for the refund and waiting for New Zealand to open up.  Given the time of year when the borders are due to open, we need to wait until next year before we can travel anyway; my husband’s job gets busy over the festive season in December.

You know what an Outcome of Patience does to me?  No.  Well, it leaves me devastated.  It’s not always a strong suit.  😏

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 204

Day 203 – Deception and Ageing Reality

Thursday, 22 July 2021

Day 203. Deception. Layout. In order of appearance: Playfulness, The Source, Letting Go, Awareness, Clinging to the Past, The Rebel, Going with the Flow, Totality, Possibilities, Fighting. Standard Shuffle

Deception Context

I spent my day at the hairdresser, getting part two of the lighter hair colour.  The hair colour is the beginning of me stopping myself from deception and learning to let go of youth and begin to embrace getting older.  There are other reasons for colouring your hair apart from ageing.  Sometimes words or phrases stay in your mind until you get time to look at them.  The hairdresser’s salon is the perfect place.

The thought in my mind today are the words uttered by S.N. Goenka (Vipassana advocate) during a meditation retreat, commenting that we’re always deceiving people, including ourselves.  

He describes the colouring of your hair, wearing makeup, and other presentational things as attempting to mislead others about our age.  True.  Now that I think of it, it seemed focused on women.  In truth, he may have rattled off a heap of male-related age deceiving techniques, and not being relevant to me, I tuned them out. 

At the time, I agreed.  Later, I wanted to look at the idea and assess it again with a clearer head, which is ironic because it’s the reason you go to a meditation retreat.  Today is that day.  Well, it’s the first pass at it.  Chances are it will ruminate in my head.

Deception and Age

The age-old game of age deception has played since people have had vanity.  Biblically, that’s probably when the snake told us to cover up our bits.  Non-biblically, our bits are vulnerable when exposed for extended periods and covering them up prevents said bits from getting hurt or weather-affected.

Sure, makeup is a disguise technique; from an instinctive perspective, it’s hormonally pleasing or part of some animals’ mating ritual.  But nature gives us subtleties to communicate aging, but we want to delay it just a fraction more.  Is it a bid to attract a mate for procreation, even when its capacity has all but gone?  No, of course not.  But the shackles of habit and the society we choose to live in keep us bound to the image nonetheless. 

If you believe, want, or like beauty and elegance adorning and decorating yourself, you may not be deceiving yourself.  It’s all a matter of the surrounding jungle.   The question to ask yourself is if you’re at home or were out in the wilderness without needing to worry about going out hunting and on your own, would you still go through the effort?  If the answer is yes, you’re not deceiving yourself.  If the answer is no, chances are you’re not entirely doing it for yourself.

We Have the Tools

We’re deceiving ourselves and others, yet we’re aware that we’re doing it.  So what?  Let’s look at a dictionary’s definition of ‘deceive’, “deliberately cause (someone) to believe something that is not true, especially for personal gain”.  Is gaining notice such a terrible thing?  Yes, respect should be a given.  Comments by my mother, other aged folks, particularly women, have mentioned, at times, they feel invisible unless they cause a fuss or scene.  

Watching Netflix’s Jackie and Frankie (Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin), a fictional television commentary on aging and its complications, supports the stories and means it’s not just my mother’s circle that encounters this type of reaction.  So, it’s not personal gain but recognition of existence.  Taken to the extreme, it’s a survival mechanism.

Looking further down the dictionary’s definition of ‘deceive’, there’s ‘deceive oneself’, which is a failure to admit to oneself that something is true (Apple Dictionary).  I’m splitting hairs, but we’re acknowledging the hair colour to cover or blend greys in a bid to be recognised or accepted. 

Taking a fatalistic approach, we found the tools; we’re meant to have them.  As a species, humankind are likely to use things in ways they’re not intended to be used – so, there is that.

Summary

For today, while Goenka is correct that we’re not ‘a la naturale’, I think there’s more behind it.  The deception he’s talking about might be the deception in the justification.  Now there’s a trippy concept!

Today's Cards

Deception. Tabled list. Day 203. In order of appearance: Playfulness, The Source, Letting Go, Awareness, Clinging to the Past, The Rebel, Going with the Flow, Totality, Possibilities, Fighting. Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Deception Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

Playfulness is in the Now The Source is its influencer.  When going to the hairdresser, my mood becomes playful, or I look forward to the “drift time” to be me.  Captive for a short time in a good way.  Because The Source is the influence card, my Playfulness centres around something at a core level, deception and hair colour, being a case in point.

Letting Go is the Goal, and while I mention the change in hair colour is a letting go of previous hair colours making me think I’m youthful, I don’t believe this ‘Letting Go’ relates to that topic.  It’s more a Letting Go of my dislike of the new colour.  For the reaction to part one, refer to Day 147 for details.

Once I had gotten used to the colour change following Day 147 (Distant Past), an Awareness of my fondness for the colour began.  But despite this Awareness, the Recent Past still has me Clinging to the Past; maybe the deception worked too well. 

Moving from my current Playfulness into Future Energy is The Rebel.  And I’m going to be honest, apart from The Rebel being doing things my way regardless of others’ opinions, I have nothing else to add.

Base

Above, I mentioned “drift time” (Day 029) which is akin to Going with the Flow; it’s a non-rigid approach to accomplishing a task.  Going with the Flow is a perfect Feelings complement to Playfulness.

Others’ Views is that I’m committed to changing my hair colour; the card of Totality reflects this view.

Hopes & Fears is that a new look I hope opens me up to Possibilities for an image change.  Yet, I fear a look change and its Possibilities because I might buy clothes.

Finally, the Outcome is Fighting, which might indicate that I’ll punch anyone if they don’t like it (this will remain a mental image in my head – not anyone’s actual face).

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 203

Day 202 – Logic and Our Creativity

Wednesday, 21 July 2021

Logic. Day 202. Layout. In order of appearance: We are the World, Exhaustion, Existence, Postponement, The Master, Mind, Aloneness, Receptivity, Healing, Courage. Standard Shuffle

Logical Context

Today, my post was about talking with the “other side” and why we might not trust our intuition.  You know those moments when you’ve followed something, and it hasn’t come out just right, only to realise you’d grown from it.  Sometimes, our intuition and creativity can appear to lead us astray or wind us up in a big pile of excrement, and we wish we’d used logic. 

Think of it this way; it’s like giving a dog a bath when they’ve been rolling in something smelly; to get them clean, they have to pass through water and possibly doggy shampoo to come out smelling roses – or whatever scent you’ve chosen!

Our intuition can only get to us via the creative area of our brains.  The logic side of our brain pieces information from different parts of our brain together.  The creative part of our brain is an area that collects data and communicates to our logical brains.  

Today was all about using my creativity to communicate at work, and I do work in IT.  Believe me, to translate some of the tech-speak into customer speak, and vis-a-versa requires creativity.  You’re essentially translating the creative brains of the techs into something logical for the customer to digest.

Yes, you’re reading that the right way round.  For the techs to operate in the virtual space, they MUST use creativity.  I was going to say the output code is the logic, but if you’ve seen code and aren’t into computers, there doesn’t seem to be anything logical about it. 😉

Logically Making Beautiful Music

When creativity and logic work together, you get art, music, books, stories, films, games, and the list goes on.  However, uncertainty creeps into the picture if the creative brain tries to communicate something the logical brain cannot reconcile or fit into its conditioning. 

Creativity, of all the other information gathering areas, is capable of putting together the subtleties of emotion, physical responses and external inputs for logic to translate.  But logic likes a beaten path.  A beaten way is safe more times than it isn’t.  Why then would it opt for something new from creativity, no less!

What logic forgets is the number of times creativity has saved us.  Where’s the beaten path showing those numbers?  In reality, it’s likely to happen so often that the way is taken for granted, just part of the scenery.  Those other ideas creativity comes up with, pah! What would it know?  It’s been wrong a couple of times. 

I’m going to personify creativity and logic for a moment:

“Hmm, what about when you ignore my logic?” says Creativity. 

“When?” replies Logic.

“Remember the trivia quiz, and I said the answer was Germany, and you went Nah and opted logically for France?” Creativity pointed out.

“Oh yeah, that was once”, said Logic

“What?  Once an hour times infinity”, said Creativity.

“Shush! I’ve told you a million times to not exaggerate”, Logic said primly.

“Actually, it was two million and forty-six times, counting that one”, Creativity replied smartly.

“la la la ….”, Logic says and tunes Creativity out.

You see, creativity also stores information in creative ways and can retrieve it at will.  Logic doesn’t know how to lose gracefully.  Besides, everything creativity does is made up, right?

Summary

I wasn’t sure I was going to have enough steam to write as much as I did.  It looks like I did write about trusting our intuition. 😃 Yay, me!

Of course, none of the above is fact, and it’s based playfully on my observations and some of my internal banter between creativity and logic.

Today's Cards

Logic. Day 202. In order of appearance: We are the World, Exhaustion, Existence, Postponement, The Master, Mind, Aloneness, Receptivity, Healing, Courage. Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Logical Analysis

Carryover Cards

Four cards carried over from yesterday; We are the World moved from Outcome to Now, Existence moved from Now to Goal, Postponement moved from Influence to Distant Past, and The Master simply stayed where he was in Recent Past.

Cross

We are the World was yesterday’s outcome of working together for IT support.  Today it’s in the Now.  As I said in the above Context, I spent much of my day trying to relay customer expectations into something constructive.

Preventing me from being completely effective is the Influence of Exhaustion.  Yeah, I’m tired; why do you think it’s taken 14 days to publish today’s post?  I can write the post because I jot down notes at the end of each day.

The Goal was Existence, and Existence echoes elements of We are the World in the same way as We are the World works holistically to bring things into focus. Since Existence and We are the World have swapped spots, I’m going to go with “same, same but different”.

Postponement was in the Influence position yesterday, but today has moved to the Distant Past, indicating I have moved on from its influence.  Note that Postponement in the Distant Past could be anything I’d previously postponed influencing my desire to get a team to work together, but I am too exhausted to make it happen ideally.

The Master remains in the Recent Past.  Yesterday, I spoke of being comfortable in my abilities, which held for today as well.

Future Energy has Mind, and Mind is confused or too much going on in my head.  It shows the result of Exhaustion’s influence having a dominant effect on my mental state.

Base

When I’m exhausted, or under its influence, my Feelings turn to Aloneness.  In today’s case, I am seeking to be left alone so I can recover my energy.

Others’ Views is I surrender to customer’s suggestions too often, and on the flip side taking the tech suggestions too – the result too much Receptivity, from their point of view.

Hopes & Fears, I need Healing.  I hope for Healing and am afraid that I will not spend time on myself to recover fully.

Courage is the Outcome.  Pursuing the goal while balancing seemingly conflicting views, all the while exhausted, takes Courage.  Charge!!!

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 202

Day 201 – Jobs for Family & Friends

Tuesday, 20 July 2021

Day 201. Layout: order of appearance: Existence, Postponement, Traveling, Adventure, The Master, Thunderbolt, Projections, Fighting, Suppression, We are the World. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Jobs Context

When I attended business college in Sydney back in 1983, where I learnt how to “secretary”, my family took advantage of my skills.  Notably in the areas of communication and typing.  Later, when I learned about computers, I became the primary go-to person for my mum and, for a while, my sister.  These side jobs are called love jobs.  Jobs you do for those you love and don’t get paid.

You see, one of the many skills taught in the college was communication in all its forms, whether written, face-to-face, or on the phone.  My mother, with her thick Swiss-German accent, doubted her ability to communicate to Australians effectively.  This lack of confidence meant that her daughters got the job of helping her out.

On the other hand, my sister was seemed to doubt her ability to respond to questions people might ask on the other end of the phone.  I should point out that she overcame the fear, but she wrote a list of possible questions; she might write her answers too.  Not having the answers threw my sister until she got her equilibrium.

My sister stopped using me for computer jobs and as a go-to when I authoritatively wiped her disk drive without making a backup; this I did after assuring her I was in IT and, therefore, knew “everything”.  She reminds me now and again of the quote which may have had the words of, “trust me, I’m in IT”.  🤔

Love Jobs are for Family

Time moved on, and my penance for wiping my sister’s hard drive seemed to be fixing other people’s IT mistakes.  Ah, karma!  I wound up in an IT Service Desk for a time.  

While my sister stopped using me for IT support, my mum wasn’t so easily scared off.  Although, by virtue of location, my sister, now tech-savvy in her own right and married to a computer programmer, did get the IT support calls from my mother.

I moved out of direct IT support and became an ICT Project Manager; I’d gotten sick of looking at blue lines and “blue screens of death”.  At home, I wanted something different and switched to the Mac.  Because I was on a Mac, I could no longer assist my mum, who insisted on clicking “Ok” to a bunch of pop-up messages on the PC, riddling it with a virus after virus.  Multiple times, my brother-in-law reimaged the machine. 

My sister is a school teacher and has a young son, and was unable to support my mother’s virus addiction .  The solution, move our mother to a Mac.  My sister was happy, and viruses didn’t seem to be an issue.  The calls I received were “how do I” instead of “why isn’t this working” style questions.  An application allowing you to remote into machines and see desktops made IT love jobs a dream.   

Non-standard Support Hours

When you get paid to do a job, and you get to go home and not think about it, it’s bliss.  For many years, I complained to my mum and sister that I usually get paid to do what I’m doing for them for free.  You know, composing emails, looking things up and guiding your mum through a how-to question or another.   

If the “it’s my job” argument got used against my mum, she would return with, “I cooked all day and then had to come home and cook; deal with it”.   She was a cook by day and by night – we all gotta eat.

The other thing that used to get to me was the inconvenient hours – it was always after work or on weekends 🥲.  IT support for my mother is what happened today, an impromptu, my printer needs updating; “how do I do it?”, question.  No amount of diversion will stop the questions with my mum!

Today's Cards

Jobs. Day 201. Tabled list: order of appearance. Existence, Postponement, Traveling, Adventure, The Master, Thunderbolt, Projections, Fighting, Suppression, We are the World. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Job Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; Fighting moved from Hopes & Fears to Others’ Views.

Cross

Existence sits in the Now; I’m trying to embrace the moment; Postponement influences Existence meaning it’s useless to forestall the questions from my mother because they’re going to come, anyway.

I cannot apply the Travelling card today unless it’s my being back at work this week.  It’s time to refer to the Osho book.  The phrase that stands out is “It may be a physical movement from one place to the next, or an inner movement from one way of being to another.”  Now, it makes sense.  Travelling in the Goal is that I’d like to make the solution to my mother’s love job question simple.

Of course, the support rod used on my back I created many years ago when learning computers and eager to show off my newly found skills to anyone willing to listen.  It’s the Distant Past’s Adventure.

In the Recent Past, I became comfortable in my skills and knowledge (The Master) and support for loved ones, no longer frustrates.  There was a time when my skills had become second nature, and everyone knew about them where I didn’t want to use them at home for love jobs.  Too late, those early years where I sought to display my skills also created a dependency.

Future Energy is Thunderbolt, signifying a change.  Have you ever noticed that significant changes just seem to happen when things are running smoothly?  My theory for this is that you’ve accomplished a stage of learning, and things are going smoothly, and it signifies that you’re ready for your next challenge from the universe or God.

Base

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that the knowledge you have on specific topics, things you take for granted, aren’t natural to others.  When you make this assumption, it’s when the Projections card appears. 

As clever as my mum is, I need to remember the world she grew up in was so very different than the one we’re living in today and making the leaps into technology, and its terms are incredible.  Projections are what I feel I do at times.

Others’ Views is that I’m oversensitive or a bit touchy on the subject of helping out with a computer problem, represented by the Fighting card.  Yeah, this would be my past coming back to haunt me when I was precious about support.  Other people have long memories too.

Hopes & Fears has the Suppression card.  I hope that I’m not suppressing my frustration at assisting.  The fear, perhaps, is that I’m hiding how I would like to support.  My mum is a demanding, love job customer.  Her confidence around IT has grown, so much so, she feels happy to experiment with clicking on things while you’re on the phone trying to help her. 

The Outcome for today is We are the World.  Perfect!  We are the World indicates working together for a common cause, which you want when providing IT support.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. You might also find this article fun: Day 131
End Day 201

Day 200 – Doubting can be Exhausting

Monday, 19 July 2021

Day 200. Doubt. Layout: order of appearance. Creativity, Ice-olation, Breakthrough, Morality, Laziness, Abundance, Exhaustion, New Vision, Fighting, Stress. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Doubtful Context

How do you overcome doubts?  Is it necessary to overcome doubts?  While I’m a fan of doubts because it means you’re questioning.  Questioning is the thirst for knowledge, understanding and promotes change.  But sometimes it would be wonderful if something just “was”.  And even being an advocate of mindfulness and meditation sometimes, I question it too.

It is the whole; if you meet the Buddha on the Road, kill him.  Like in Day 199‘s lesson on reverse engineering, you need to work things out for yourself.  Sure, you can have people console you and people you trust to advise you, but, in the end, the decision to accept the advice is up to you. 

So, I don’t think there’s a way of overcoming doubts there’s just a way to try and manage them.  Some doubts are more challenging to overcome than others; questions of an existential nature might be more complicated than wondering why you wore a particular pair of jeans.

Today, I doubted many things, from processes to systems, and it was frustrating.  System updates to Photos on my Mac have distorted how the font I use on the image displays.  Every day, I use the same font and size, crop the photos the same way, yet on some days, the font is smaller, and other days it’s larger.  At first, you doubt yourself rather than the system.  You double-check everything, you reboot, but in the end, it’s the system. 

It takes a lot of work to remove the doubt, to confirm you were doing the right thing all along.  Have I then discovered that doubt requires more work than simply accepting?  I guess it does.  Doubt means you’re asking questions, then troubleshooting them through analysis, only to wind up at the very point you started.

Today's Cards

Doubt. Day 200. Tabled: order of appearance. Creativity, Ice-olation, Breakthrough, Morality, Laziness, Abundance, Exhaustion, New Vision, Fighting, Stress. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Doubt Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

Creativity is in the Now influenced by Ice-olation, and the Goal is Breakthrough.  Wanting to do the right thing, from society’s views, Morality sits in the Distant Past.  In the Recent Past, is Laziness resting on previous successes.   The Future Energy of Abundance comes from Creativity.

Relating the above to my day, I was challenging a process I developed to improve upon it; this is Creativity.  Ice-olation is the Influencer and, in this case, is the cold, reserved and judgemental element inhibiting Creativity and the change process.  You could say it has frozen Creativity.

Intuitively knowing this might be the case, I sought a Breakthrough situated in the Goal position.  Breaking through the doubt to a moment of certainty.

In the Distant Past, wanting to adhere to the right thing (Morality) inhibited Creativity.  Perhaps, at the time, it was the right thing to do.  It’s easy to judge the past from a higher viewpoint.  Even though the process was clunky, it worked; relying on it to continue in a changing environment knowing it needed adjustment, was my Laziness in the Recent Past.

Maybe the Future Energy card of Abundance implies changing the process is beneficial and allows for a better workflow giving all involved more time back in their day.

Base

Doubting has Feelings of Exhaustion.  Exhaustion isn’t just at a physical level, but it is more in my mind, just wanting rest.

Look at that; it’s Intensity in Others’ Views.  Others’ Views are of me pushing myself too hard, and they’re unsure of my direction.  Others just know I’m putting a lot of energy toward it.

One of my fears created by feelings of Exhaustion is that I will snap (Fighting) at people trying to be civil and when I’m tired.  I hope my exposure to others while I’m sensitive is limited. Pick the wrong topic and boom!

With Stress as the Outcome, my fear might become a reality.  Some poor unsuspecting soul will pass by and ask a question I don’t know the answer to and will receive a defensive response.  Oh, “I pity the fool”, B.A. Baracus, The A-Team.  Of course, nothing is definite, and it may not come to pass.  😄

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Related Links

Day 201 – Jobs for Family

End Day

Day 199 – Biting Off More Than I Could Chew

Sunday, 18 July 2021

Chew. Day 199. In order of appearance: Thunderbolt, Politics, Comparison, Change, Projections, Control, Rebirth, Harmony, Integration, Going with the Flow. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Chew Context

I had to surrender my stubbornness when the reverse engineering of a seat cover started on Day 192 was taking too long.   Like in life, you can use someone else’s design as a guide, but in the end, you’ve got to work to your limits.  Basically, I’d bitten off more than I could chew.  The mess in the living, dining and spare bedroom was also beginning to frustrate me.

Completing the chair was taking too long, and it was taking me away from writing or modifying the website.  I had had some time to spare, but I wanted the chair.  Let me adjust the statement to I needed the chair.

You may recall from Day 192 that my husband recommended doing a sleeve for the chair, which is fundamentally what the design entailed.  However, the cover also had meshing, adding a degree of unplanned complexity, even if I cut all the pieces the same.   

It took me a few moments to chew on the idea of switching to the basic sleeve style, but I saw the benefits in the end.  More importantly, it would save me time.  Although, the new modification would need to wait until next weekend.

To illustrate just how much the chair occupied my day, it’s all I had on my mind and therefore writing about my day is also quite simple.  Perhaps chewing on the cards will eke out more. 🐄

Today's Cards

Chew. Day 199. Table order of appearance: Thunderbolt, Politics, Comparison, Change, Projections, Control, Rebirth, Harmony, Integration, Going with the Flow. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Chew Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

Because there were no carryover cards, today’s sequence is unconnected to yesterday.  Indeed, even if we compared today’s cards to Day 192, there is still no overlap; this means today’s cards simply apply today.  Of course, there’s overlap from somewhere, or there wouldn’t be a Distant Past. 

Anyway, let’s move away from yesterday and to today’s cards.  Thunderbolt is in the Now influenced by Politics, with Comparison being the Goal.  The dynamic force of Change is in the Distant Past, while Projections are in the Recent Past.  From the destruction wrought by Thunderbolt to the desire for a more pragmatic approach, delivering the card of Control in the Future Energy.

Now, to apply the cross elements to my day.  Thunderbolt is the crashing down of the idea of quickly finishing recovering the chair.  Politics is the dual inner nature between kidding myself and things going smoothly.   

Having the Comparison card in the Goal shows how I chewed on the differences between the original design and whether the sleeve would have a different structural impact.

The Change in the Distant Past would be identifying the moment where I decided the chair needed recovering, and it reached the point of no return once the first part of the unpicking took place.  The Change led to Projections of my capability, not onto another, but me and my skills.  As we know, that projection led to Thunderbolt and has reformed in seeking Control.

Base

My Feelings toward the collapsing (Thunderbolt) of my original idea (Change) inspired new energy, a Rebirth if you like.

Others’ Views of me and my situation is that I have reached a state of Harmony, where I am at peace with the new direction.  In this case, the other view is my husband’s.

Integration represents my Hopes & Fears.  My husband has suggested, “do the sleeve first, get the chair working.  Once done, you can go back and take your time doing the proper cover the way you want it”.  After I chewed on them, the words gave me hope that I could complete something now and still pursue the original idea.  More importantly, it helped me let go and move on. 

My fear of integrating the two concepts lay in the philosophy of “don’t fix what’s not broken”.  Once the chair has its sleeve, it’s no longer broken.  My fear lies in I won’t bother with the original idea anymore, and the Integration of ideas was a ruse.

Finally, the Outcome is Going with the Flow.  Once resigned to the making a sleeve, the fighting or wrestling for Control was over.  I then set the course and proceeded to flow with the current of the day.

Well, it was identifying the moment when I’d bitten off more than I could chew that allowed me to move on.  Okay, my husband helped provide an “ego-safe” way of exiting the situation gracefully.  The day made me realise that I needed to create my design for moving things along for all the information available to me.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 199

Day 198 – Appreciation for Dated Old Movies

Saturday, 17 July 2021

Old movies. Day 198. In order of appearance.:The Dream, Receptivity, Possibilities, Patience, Completion, Morality, Clinging to the Past, Ice-olation, Intensity, Experiencing. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Old Movies Context

Most of today got spent on tidying and improving previous blogs for grammar and layout.  There’s scarcely time to write, yet it was easier to focus on revisiting the past.  Perhaps it’s something I needed to do – I was feeling nostalgic.  As you can see, I did get time to write my thoughts about how old movies are dating.

There are instances every day where we age and learn more about the world.  Decisions made in the past can take on a new perspective when times and circumstances evolve. 

For instance, I tried to find an old movie that would support my statement and didn’t age well.  The first website I landed on was criticising old movies (some Oscar winners) about casting choices because the film didn’t choose an actor of the ethnic origin the role required.

In their words, it’s “Alec Guinness portrays Prince Faisal in “Lawrence of Arabia,” citing it as an example of Hollywood’s “radical whitewashing.”  I wasn’t sure if it was at the time or whether it was referring to today’s society.  Retrospectively criticising choices back then doesn’t help, nor does burying old movies with good stories, filming and acting because casting choices of the time were seen through childhood glasses. 

Stomping our feet, saying it’s wrong and “make the bad man go away” isn’t very mature either.  So, what should we do?  Perhaps the answer lies in educating today’s viewers to focus on the stories in the old movies.  After all, there was a time when women weren’t allowed to act in Shakespeare’s day, but we still read Shakespeare.  If Shakespeare used film in his day and captured men playing all the roles such as Orphelia or Lady Macbeth, would we eschew its brilliant storytelling?  Perhaps.

Education and Old Movies

I understand the point the article was trying to make in saying some white male fat cats made these “old movies” in Hollywood to push a white male America hegemony.  It was also possibly true.  However, I suspect it was primarily blinkered by the times being unintended and innocent of maliciousness when the movies’ were filmed – with the odd exception.  It was a large group, and the exception had a significant impact.

The article implied having Ben Kingsley play Gandhi was kind of concessional like he wasn’t Indian enough.  For the role of Gandhi, no other Indian actors (from India) got interviewed for the position.  Mind you; if I have Ben Kingsley accepting the role, I wouldn’t be looking much further either.

However, the likes of Mae West, a start of the old movies (the 1930s), were affecting change when she bought The Ravenswood and Mary Pickford when she owned United Artists Corporation (1920s).

West, who invested in property throughout the Los Angeles area, bought the building when the management barred her then-boyfriend, African American boxer William "Gorilla" Jones, from entering the premises

Changing our Views

What hasn’t changed over time is the dedication of committed individuals to correcting some of these perceptions.  Thankfully, due to those pushing for balance, future years will leave the proportion of “whitewashed” movies in the minority.  Like Shakespeare, I hope, respected and still watchable the stories they tell, not what someone is reading into it. 

Hindsight is a beautiful thing.  I’m relieved to see the screens of cinema and television have become more diverse.  Cinema and television are better for it, but sometimes some shows seem to add diversity for diversity’s sake, and it too can detract from a storyline. 

Hopefully, storylines will naturally add “diversity” suited to the story rather than being tokenistic of every form of diversity to capture a wider audience.  Tokenistic is an excellent way to start, but identifying when or at what point to stop being tokenistic and becoming real is tricky.  

Sometimes in trying to cater to too many people, the reverse can happen.  To butcher some of Bob Marley’s lyrics, Get Up Stand Up, “you can [please] some people some time, but you can’t [please] all the people all the time.”  I’ve substituted the word “fool” for “please”.

Summary

Ah, yes.  The good thing is over time, the old movies accused of being “whitewashed” will become fewer and will then simply form part of the diverse palette of available films we can watch.   Acting is acting; after all, the skill of making people believe you are someone or something else is in the job description.

Today’s blog point is about how we should grow to be more tolerant of our own mistakes.  As we grow each individually, we grow as a society, and this is what brings about change in new movies while appreciating the old movies.  

Today's Cards

Old Movies. Day 198. In order of appearance.:The Dream, Receptivity, Possibilities, Patience, Completion, Morality, Clinging to the Past, Ice-olation, Intensity, Experiencing. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Old Movies Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; The Dream moved from Goal to Now.

Cross

In the Distant Past was Patience, and while waiting for things to progress, romantic notions and unrealistic expectations Now formed, taking the place of The Dream.

Receptivity influences The Dream and, in this case, is supporting dreamful ideals.  The Goal of Possibilities shows multiple directions and offers a path out of delusion.

Recent Past has Completion, which ultimately leads to Future Energy of Morality.

So, what do the cards say?  Wow!  In the first paragraph (now, I write the context before I look at the cards), I talk about revisiting old posts and what I didn’t write is I’ve been waiting for the right moment to do this.  The right moment hasn’t presented itself, so I simply went and did it.  There’s a part of me that shrinks when I know how poor some can be.

Quickly then:

  • Patience equals waiting for the right opportunity to revisit previous blogs.
  • Receptivity over The Dream means I have high expectations and am open to changing their layouts.
  • The Possibilities refers to transferring the blogs into Word, so I have a non-website location. A Word copy gives me protection against a website update going wrong and gives me a cleaner source if I finally get around to getting a developer.
  • Completion is redoing a couple of blogs, fixing incomplete photos and lighting.
  • Morality in the Future Energy is me writing other thoughts going through my mind today.

Base

After analysing the cross, today, my Feelings are I spent it dreaming of fixing the website and Clinging to the Past. 

Others’ Views is Ice-olation and that I need to let go.  The Osho book’s interpretation of this card and its depiction is the figure isolated from the world.  Osho describes crying as the best way of letting go and melting the ice wall built around you.

Hopes & Fears is Intensity.  Intensity is of fire and passion unconstrained, and I hope to find it to complete revisiting all previous blogs to tidy them up, too.  Naturally, I fear I won’t see the Intensity, and my enthusiasm will shrivel, and my embarrassment remains.

Finally, it was revisiting the blogs was worth the experience.  The Outcome of Experiencing early blogs also showed how I’d grown just this year. 

So much for the writing on old movies and looking up the information.  

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2.  Related link is to Day 190 – Recognising Personal Growth
  3.  Interesting link Day 191 – Revising the Cinema
End Day 198

Day 197 – Failure and Mindful Meditation

Friday, 16 July 2021

Failure. Day 197. Tabled list: order of appearance. Friendliness, Sharing, The Dream, Projections, The Master, Sorrow, Aloneness, Playfulness, The Source, Understanding. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Failure Context

Meditation is a beautiful thing to know and is great for your mental health.  It incorporates mindfulness and breathing to create a sense of peace.  The technique is simple, let go of all the noise, and try to strip away everything and just focus on the very basis of life, the breath.  Revelling in sheer simplicity is what creates a sense of peace.  Yet, meditation can promote all sorts of feelings, and failure is one of them.

Who would have thought training your mind to focus on the most natural and straightforward thing in the world would be so difficult.  It’s the moments when we sit there, and our minds insist on thinking about more than the beautiful gift of breath when we get frustrated.   

My first meditation experience, over 30 years ago, in the Blue Mountains Meditation Centre would be hilarious if I hadn’t felt like a failure every time I tried to focus on my breath.  Time and time again, my mind would be on something else.  It didn’t matter how strongly I told myself, “this time!” or, more accurately, emphatically, “THIS TIME!”.  So, did it work?  Nah-uh! Thirty years later, I am still saying the same thing!

Failure and Discipline

Ok.  The last couple of sentences are accurate, but not every time I meditate.  The old adage “practise makes perfect” isn’t technically correct either; it should be “practise makes you better”.   

The truth is every meditation experience is different; yesterday, I was buzzing being able to sit for an hour and feeling in control of my mind.  Today, I could barely sit still for three minutes, let alone get my mind to settle.  It’s days like today, where I feel like a failure, and if I didn’t meditate, I wouldn’t feel it.

We’ve become accustomed to getting what we want, like a spoilt child.   The spoilt status is even more applicable to us as adults when deciding what we want and don’t want to do.  So, when we sit down to meditate and try to push the noise aside for a moment, and our mind doesn’t do it, we feel like a failure. 

Wilful Betrayal

Our minds are betraying us by not submitting to our will.  Where’s all that stubbornness and wilfulness I’ve been accused of in the past now?  Disappeared like the skulking wimps or pussies they are in the face of those powerful work thoughts, the TV ad jingle or a funny snippet from a Monty Python film, and the demands of living.  Huh!  Wilfulness, pah!  Determination, dedication, and stubbornness are useless before the monoliths of thought.

The trick, and it does feel like a trick some days, is to watch the thoughts without stopping them to take a look at them.  It’s like watching an escalator without one side to it, where each step on the escalator is a thought.  Try to observe the escalator steps from the top or the bottom but pursue an idea.  If you do happen to get onto an idea, recognise and acknowledge your action.  Then step off to the side, and start again.

If you jump onto an idea and five to ten minutes go by before you realise, you’re not a failure.  You need to remember; you’re a hero because if you want to participate in society, mental data and mental junk food are likely to be the norm. 

And while I joked about being 30 years on and not have a clear mind every time I meditate, the ratio of controlled to uncontrolled is better than on day one.   As a tip, just notice your breath where you are right this moment reading this blog.  Breathe in, breathe out. 🧘🏿‍♀️

Today's Cards

Failure. Day 197. Tabled list: order of appearance. Friendliness, Sharing, The Dream, Projections, The Master, Sorrow, Aloneness, Playfulness, The Source, Understanding. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Failure Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; The Source moved from Others’ Views to Hopes & Fears.

Cross

The smiley Friendliness card is Now and influenced by Sharing.  In the Goal position is the card of self-delusion, The Dream.

In the Distant Past are my Projections onto others in that I believe others always seem to clear their minds better than I can clear mine. 

More recently (Recent Past), I’ve become The Master.  The growth occurred when I learnt others struggle with controlling their minds just as much as I do.  Some practitioners can hide theirs a little better by not moving as much. 🥱

Nonetheless, Sorrow appears in Future Energy, indicating the struggle will continue.

Base

My Feelings are of Aloneness even when being active.  I’ve often used the fact that I’m alone as a way of saying I meditate.  Whether I’m listening to music, vegging out in front of the TV or going for a walk are ways I kid myself into believing I have been meditating.  Unless you’re building mindfulness on your breath and your action the whole way, it’s just an avoidance technique we employ.  Relaxing and chilling out is not the same as meditation.

Others’ Views is Playfulness if you can’t have fun with meditation.  Breathe in breath out fast.  Making meditation fun is a way to avoid feeling like a failure most of the time.

Hopes & Fears has The Source, which is what you hope to accomplish when you meditate; getting to The Source; of life, of being.  The fear is not achieving the feat and feeling like a failure.  Why does it have to be so hard?!

Understanding those years of avoidance and indulging the mind, and allowing it to pursue whatever whim it wants is the Outcome.  

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Related link: Day 058 – Mindfulness & Meditation Challenges
End Day 197

Day 196 – Confirming Travel is Exciting

Thursday, 15 July 2021

Exciting. Day 196. In order of appearance: Inner Voice, Totality, Celebration, Beyond Illusion, Transformation, Turning In, Completion, The Source, Existence, Change. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Exciting Context

Not long to go to New Zealand, and I am so looking forward to travelling, and I’m hanging out to go skiing, especially since we were unable to go last year.  It’s exciting!

Thankfully, we’re not looking too bad concerning COVID cases.  So, fingers-crossed things will stay this way.  The oversized ticket items to sort out are: what are the protocols for travelling to New Zealand?  What do we need to do when returning to Australia? 

A traveller at work advised that you needed to get a COVID-19 test from a free clinic but had to come from a pathology department because they provided documentation.

I’ve also started counting calories to reduce my weight and am seriously thinking about enrolling at the yoga centre for some hot yoga.  No point getting excited if you’re not going to be fit enough to enjoy it.

Vaccinations are not Exciting

Since my husband is almost fully immunised, it was time for me to decide whether to have the vaccination.  This indecision about getting a vaccination or not getting a vaccination has led some people to conclude that I am against vaccinations.  For the record, I am not FOR vaccinations, but I am also NOT AGAINST vaccinations.  What I support is INFORMED vaccination decision making.

Making Informed vaccination choices means understanding the risks of both having the vaccination and what would happen if you don’t have the vaccination and owning the decision.  But I get it.  It’s hard to make the decision, and like children who have adults decide for them, we want someone to do that for us, too.

All too often, we make decisions and then when we find ourselves in hot water, as a result of that decision, we seek to blame someone or something else for us winding up in that situation and claim it was unforeseeable.  The same goes both ways.  It’s comforting to have vaccinations mandated; it then absolves us if anything goes wrong.  Of course, I’m facetious.

I just want to be able to choose without somebody guilt-tripping me, one way or the other, about my choice.

Today's Cards

Exciting. Day 196. In order of appearance.:Inner Voice, Totality, Celebration, Beyond Illusion, Transformation, Turning In, Completion, The Source, Existence, Change. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Exciting Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

Inner Voice is in the Now, and Totality is its influence.  Today, I am committed to going to New Zealand.  My Goal is Celebration, and while COVID-19 is around, predictability is out the door, but celebrating travelling to another country is still an exciting prospect.

Beyond Illusion is the process where the caterpillar is undergoing chrysalis; this is what had happened in the Distant Past when we booked New Zealand. 

And in the Recent Past, I’ve undergone a Transformation which is the next step moving from the cocoon’s process of transforming to having experienced a Transformation.  In terms of today’s reading means the changes to the diet, fitness and registering for a COVID vaccination.

A person at work who had only last week travelled to New Zealand indicated smooth travel – supporting things going back to some form of normality.

Continuing listening to the Inner Voice is the Future Energy of Turning In.  Maybe there’s something I’m missing if I’m Turning In, or I’m simply at peace.

Base

Because I tackled some of the outstanding questions about travelling to New Zealand, my Feelings of Completion are justified.

Others’ Views is that I’m connecting to The Source of who I am; maybe it’s in my excitement.

Existence is in Hopes & Fears.  Sometimes, I hope just to sit and be me – at one with the whole of Existence.  When I go travelling or skiing, it’s what makes the wait worthwhile.  The fear is the trip will still get cancelled, and the ease of connecting to Existence is gone.

The Outcome has the card of Change.  Change can mean anything in today’s world, but today, the trip is close enough not to get cancelled – I hope.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 196

Day 195 – Office Flexibility Post COVID-19

Wednesday, 14 July 2021

Flexibility. Day 195. In order of appearance.:Going with the Flow, Silence, Laziness, Moment to Moment, We are the World, Trust, Awareness, The Master, Sharing, Projections. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Flexibility Context

There was a Gartner presentation at work today, and it spoke about what employers might need to allow for in the future post-COVID-19.  Flexibility was the keyword employees were looking for in a job. 

It makes sense, with COVID-19, workplaces had to become flexible with employee attendance and achieving outcomes.  My workplace, as part of “COVID proofing”, our office, continues to operate on a 50% attendance rate.  That’s 50% work from home, and 50% are in the office, except one day a week when we all come in for team meetings.  This approach is for disaster management; when or if COVID or the like strikes, only half of the workforce will be affected at any one time.

Another factor is being able to ditch the suit in favour of jeans and a t-shirt.  Something comfortable.  I guess my wish for returning the double-breasted suits with hats from the Golden Years of the Hollywood era is gone 😂.  Not that I know what it was like, but the suits and clothes look so classy.

The flexibility of working from home provides an excellent work-life balance.  It’s so easy to participate in a meeting while turning on the dishwasher, washing machine or even hang up the clothes if you’re close enough for the range on you’re headset.

Anyway, I couldn’t find an article by the Gartner group on the findings presented today, but I found a summary of the Future of Work Trends Post COVID-19 in the workplace, which you might find interesting.

Today's Cards

Flexibility. Day 195. In order of appearance.:Going with the Flow, Silence, Laziness, Moment to Moment, We are the World, Trust, Awareness, The Master, Sharing, Projections. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Flexibility Analysis

Carryover Cards

Three cards carried over from yesterday; Trust moved from Feelings to Future Energy, The Master moved from Goal to Others’ Views, and Projections moved from Now to Outcome.

Cross

Going with the Flow was in the Now influenced by Silence.  In the context of the day, it’s about flexibility and taking opportunities as they present themselves.  The options will work out if I keep my mind still with Silence, making it easier to Go with the Flow.

The Goal of the day was Laziness – I both love and hate this card.  Today it means, taking the opportunity to rest and maybe learn something new at the risk of not getting on top of anything new into the workload.

In the Recent Past is the card of working together for a common cause, We are the World, and further back in the Distant Past was the card of Moment to Moment, which imitates the Going with the Flow card.

Hmmm.  We are the World equals flexibility around new workplace requirements for and by employees.  Moment to Moment is when the whole of Australia had to become flexible and embrace the new challenges provided by COVID-19 at each opportunity.

Going with the Flow radiates Trust into Future Energy.

Base

By Going with the Flow, you get an opportunity to look at things in a different light.  Casting a different light on a situation brings about Feelings of Awareness.  

Others’ Views is The Master moving from yesterday’s Goal position; it is almost possible to interpret this movement as the Goal accomplished.  Except it’s how others view me, not how I feel.

Hopes & Fears has the card of Sharing.  With the information on the new world and its workplace, I hope for a more casual workplace, but at the same time, I fear losing the existing workplace is scary.

Projections are the Outcome position and have moved from the Now position yesterday; in this position, as opposed to where it was yesterday, I’m likely to be putting my spin on the feedback on the new workplace.  Usually, my observations are correct, but my conclusions sometimes miss something in the translation.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 195

Day 194 – My Third Hygienist Visit

Tuesday, 13 July 2021

Hygienist. Day 194. Tabled list: order of appearance. Projections, Sorrow, The Master, Slowing Down, Compromise, Fighting, Trust, Beyond Illusion, The Outsider, Ice-olation. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Hygienist Context

The dental surgery where I go recommends visiting the hygienist.  In the early days of dental surgery, the hygienist was just another service option.  And when the dentist recommended I visit the hygienist, I ignored it or treated it with the same deference. I would treat the line, “would you like fries with that?” with respect but ultimately ignored it until I wanted to use the service.  To my mind, I figured I’d never booked in to see one.

Over the years, I matured, and the dentist changed.  The stubborn refusal to avoid the hygienist melted, and I decided to take the opportunity to book an appointment with the hygienist.  Just to get an appointment took eight months!

Well, what an eye-opener it was to see one.  I learnt what a hygienist did; they looked after gum and mouth health where the dentist looked after teeth.  The hygienist measured gum health by calling out numbers. 

At my first visit, the numbers were high, like threes and fours.  Smug in my ignorance, I thought this was good.  Until, of course, the hygienist almost shoved a bottle of brushing solution into my mouth.  I’m sure it’s out of care and passion for their desire to rid the world of patients with poor mouth hygiene!  😁

Because hygienists look after gum and teeth health, there was also corrective instruction on brushing my teeth.  At the age of 53, I thought I knew it all, and what was wrong with the way I brushed my teeth anyway?   It turns out I was cleaning the teeth and gums too hard, believing that brushing harder must be better.  Not so.  Correct technique, gentle and longer brushing times are more effective, apparently.

More Recommendations from Hygienist

The next thing the hygienist corrected was getting rid of my toothpaste.  Eh.  That was okay; I was struggling to try to find a toothpaste I liked.  Then came the shock; no longer would I used a “paste”, but I would use, at the time, a 3% hydrogen peroxide solution! 

These days I’m not proud of my reaction, but it went something like this:  No.  Nuh-uh!  Never!  Are you kidding me?!   Then I shook.  In my head, the words hydrogen peroxide (3% solution) were associated with my mother in pain as she had cleaned her ear wax with it when I was younger; it also got confused for hydrogen chloride and ammonia for some reason. 

A small part of my brain must have remained logical because I purchased a bottle and the dentist’s Perio Mix.  You mash the Perio Mix into a paste and push it into the gaps between teeth after brushing, then drool like a St Bernard for a few minutes and rinse it out.  You only need to use this stuff until your gums no longer suffer gingivitis.

Over the years, the dentist improved the hydrogen peroxide with other additives, making it taste better and leaving your mouth with a better minty feeling.  The solution by Nutrition Diagnostics is expensive but lasts a long time and is both “paste” and mouthwash replacement in one.

Flossing is Essential

My flossing is sporadic and was non-existent for at least 20 years of my life, as were dental visits.  Flossing also took a backseat when I broke my ankle, standing at the sink with a cast trying to floss, went into the too hard basket.

Today’s visit to the hygienist was all about teeth-cleaning, a reminder to take flossing seriously and to focus the toothbrush with the brushing solution into the base of the teeth with gentle firmness but not hard.  Hard might damage the gum and be contrary to what we’re trying to achieve. 

By the end of the visit, my mouth had been bleeding.  Apparently, I have difficulty reaching the back teeth when flossing (cough) and brushing correctly in this area.  Some bacteria can form at the base of the tooth, like barnacles on a boat.  

Once established, these bacteria irritate the gum and are difficult, if not impossible, to remove.  Hence, why flossing is essential, the hygienist cleaning can file away some of them, but prevention is better than the cure.

It was a tough visit, but I’m better with receiving instruction on teeth cleaning, and it’s worthwhile for the reminder to floss.  I particularly like the analogy of the barnacles and bacteria, which gave me a better understanding of why flossing is crucial before I brush.

My visit today was my third to the hygienist, and since my first visit, my gum numbers have improved; they now sit in the ones and twos.  According to Smiles by Andrews, the closer the number is to zero, the better your gum health; ones, twos and threes are considered “normal”.  Yay!  I’m mostly normal!

Email

Today's Cards

Hygienist. Day 194. Tabled list: order of appearance. Projections, Sorrow, The Master, Slowing Down, Compromise, Fighting, Trust, Beyond Illusion, The Outsider, Ice-olation. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Hygienist Card Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; The Master moved from Distant Past to Goal and Slowing Down went from Influence to Distant Past.

Cross

Projections in the Now are influenced by Sorrow, which just about sums up my hygienist visit.  Projections are what I hope the hygienist is saying versus the Sorrow she might be feeling.  My Goal today was The Master; I find visiting the dental clinic/ surgery challenging. Therefore, being separate and unaffected by the visit and not running from it is my Goal.

In the Recent Past, Compromise tried to balance taking the day off to see the hygienist and going in for a meeting immediately afterwards.  The Compromise was to delay the start of the meeting, which allowed me to utilise a few moments to bask in the beauty of the beach to meditate.  It’s my way of stopping to smell the roses and recreating for myself the Slowing Down I’d experienced in the Distant Past.

The Future Energy has the card of Fighting.  I can relate to this because I think the teeth cleaning stirred up something, and I felt a little bit nauseous.  Being nauseous for no identifiable reason put me on edge.  Fortunately, no one noticed (just sneaking a look at the Others’ Views card 😏).

Base

My Feelings on today’s visit is that my level of Trust in the hygienist has increased, and I no longer feel the service is an “up sale”.  Wow!  How I’ve matured.

Others’ Views is Beyond Illusion and means the effort and improvement for my teeth and gum hygiene are recognised and noted.

My inner Hopes & Fears is I still feel like The Outsider.  This outsider fear is related to the sadness about not including mouth hygiene in my life earlier.  My hope is it’s not too late.

Finally, Ice-olation in the Outcome position seems to echo The Outsider card in the Hopes & Fears position.   I’m going to liken this to the experience of having a hygienist appointment and feeling nauseous afterwards.  I didn’t feel I could relate the experience to anyone who would understand it.

References & Related

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Related – Day 154 Dental Day Bliss
End Day 194

Day 193 – Yin-Yang 20-year Cycle Hypothesis

Monday, 12 July 2021

Yin-yang. Day 193. In order of appearance.:Intensity, Slowing Down, Schizophrenia, The Master, Courage, Awareness, Exhaustion, Postponement, Comparison, Laziness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Yin-Yang Context

For many years I’ve talked about mental health and metaphysical ailments.  When I say mental health, I’m talking about meditation and mindfulness exercises.  A friend, Rick (not name), many years ago mentioned the world went into 20-year cycles of yin-yang.

So, what did Rick mean when he said yin-yang and 20-year cycles?  Imagine for a moment that yin and yang are characteristics – not hard since this is partly what the symbol is trying to represent.  You know, the dichotomies of natural forces, each with its unique attributes and the gentle transition between the two.

It’s much like day and night.  These are the most appropriate for Rick’s statement of bi-decade cycles.  Day and night have distinct characteristics; however, to transition from day to night, we need to pass through dusk.   Likewise, to move from night into the day, we need to pass through dawn.  

For anyone, who has done an all-nighter or woken before dawn to see to sunrise, there’s not an exact “aha” moment to point to when the sky is bright, even if you sense and can see the gentle graduation of light. 

Of course, there’s sunrise and sunset to mark specific times when the sun crosses the horizon in respective locations.  The yin-yang cycles work in much the same way with the years. 

Rick mentioned his observations were that the even decades were typically the yin peaks amid yang dominance.  For instance, the ’60s had the Vietnam war; war is a very yang energy, but at its peak was the hippie movement, which he considered very yin.  

The Dusk & Dawn of Yin-Yang

In the dusk and dawn analogy, the peak of hippie and war was midnight and midday (figuratively speaking) of the 20-year yang cycle.  He likened these moment years and the odd decades were like the yang’s turn – but not exactly.  The peaks got offset by a couple of years from the turn of the decade, 1963 (maybe) to Rick’s mind.  

It might be observing the 20-year cycles at the height of their popularity, works like this: the 60s had eccentric hippies, peace, and beans, leading to the 70s of finally ending the Vietnamese war. 

The 80s were about flamboyance, which led to a financial market recession, and there were arguably many psychic fairs and self-help gurus about – at least, around where I lived.  Following the 80s, exuberance was the lean, mean 90s, self-help morphed into management and leadership books, and the home computer age was born. 

In the naughties (the 00s), we were back to healthy eating and living and recreational drug used seemed to be more a hot topic, and by the mid-10s travel, fitness was back but in a more rounded approach.  Now we hit the 2020’s, and subtle signs indicate we’re heading back into a yin cycle, prompted in no small way by COVID-19 to look at our mental health and looking at our inner selves.

Supporting Rick's Hypothesis

To support Rick’s observations, I searched the Internet and came up empty-handed.  There is nothing but fortune-telling games and the sexagenary (60-year Chinese Astrology year cycles).  The Chinese Astrology uses 60-year cycles, and within these, there are 20-year branches but nothing to hint at Rick’s hypothesis.  

Yin-Yang for Today

So, what has this got to do with my day?  Lately, I’ve been talking about tarot, mental health, mindfulness, meditation, and intuition more than I have in a long time.  All that self-reflection and self-help and analysis ring true for a while, then people get sick of hearing about it, and it goes off the boil. 

It’s not because they don’t like the topic or eschew it – although there are some; it’s like the market for this type of knowledge reaches a tipping point.  And as suddenly as it seemed to have arrived, it goes away.  Like after a sleep where you know you’ve dreamt but don’t quite remember how you got to sleep. 

People needed time to assimilate the new information, plus other more physical concerns began to take over.  Then that too reached its peak, and people sought something with more meaning and depth.  And the cycle starts again with a yawn. 

Like a person who wakes up but isn’t sure they want to talk to anyone just yet, but at some point, most likely after a cup of coffee, talking happens.  Talking is almost an act of courage by this point, but once you get going, nothing can stop you!

I raise the yin-yang cycle because the aspect of my life, without prompting, is being discussed once again, which is what happened today at work.  The yin has subtly been reawakening, but we’re beginning to see its light over the horizon.

Today's Cards

Yin-yang. Day 193. In order of appearance.:Intensity, Slowing Down, Schizophrenia, The Master, Courage, Awareness, Exhaustion, Postponement, Comparison, Laziness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Yin-Yang Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

Intensity is in the Now influenced by Slowing Down.  The Goal of the day is Schizophrenia.  The Master sits comfortably in the middle of the layout in the Distant Past position and has loaned his energy to the more Recent Past to give it Courage to pursue intensely.   From the Intensity of Now to the Future Energy of Awareness.

Briefly, Intensity is the energy behind rekindling an old flame, talking about some of the psychic moments of my past.  The topic arose after a “Slowing Down” period, where I caught up with a colleague, and the discussion came about naturally.

To talk or not to talk about having psychic moments was the question today (Schizophrenia), and to talk about those moments took Courage.  Later in the day, the Awareness of the yin cycle returning began to take hold.

Base

The current phase is Exhaustion.  My Feelings are that I’m exhausted from exerting myself without tapping into something more fun, something that will bring me back to enthusiasm.

Others’ Views are that I’m delaying (Postponement) doing what I love doing.  

Contrary to Others’ Views, my inner Hopes & Fears reflect I’m comparing myself with others (Comparison), or I fear I am coming up short.  My hope is the comparison shows me progressing favourably.

The Outcome shows Laziness, and this might just prove the Others’ Views right. In that, by postponing it, things I’ve worked hard to build might start crumbling or falling behind.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 193

Day 192 – Reverse Engineering Pitfall

Sunday, 11 July 2021

Pitfall. Day 192. In order of appearance.:Adventure, Traveling, The Rebel, Totality, The Creator, Letting Go, Rebirth, The Miser, Breakthrough, Ordinariness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Reverse engineer a decaying office chair; why not? I thought.  And the follow-up phrase uttered by many fools in the past, “how hard can it be?”.  Now that’s a pitfall

Pitfall Context

Today, I had a brain fart, and it was to reverse engineer a rapidly deteriorating leather office chair I use regularly.  Why not?  I thought.  And uttered by so many fools in the past, “how hard can it be?”.  My recovering of the cheap chair worked a treat and only took a weekend!

Indeed, I am and have been the fool to utter the words, “how hard can it be?”, right up there with the likes of Jeremy Clarkson (The Grand Tour).  Oh, what company to keep 🤔. 

Don’t misunderstand me; I wasn’t working under the false assumption the more complex chair would finish in a day.  The unpicking alone took forever, and I did pay close attention to the details to make it easier to put back together. 

However, one of the pitfalls of not being the developer is the inspiration that drove the design in the first place isn’t there.  Thus, making it more difficult to piece all the elements back together.

Despite my best attempts to remember how it stitched together when I get to piecing the fabric together, I’m scratching my head.  Something as simple as the back cover, and whether the broader part of the material should be wider at the top or bottom, got forgotten between the unpicking and resewing. 

At the end of the day, the chair’s back was unpicked.  I also managed to identify the fabric pieces for each section of the chair.  The replacement fabric wasn’t leather and needed interfacing to make it workable.  Nothing could progress until next weekend.

Pitfall Observations

By the way, “brain fart” is a word used colloquially in Australia on occasion when a person thinks they’ve had a great idea but, in the end, is a stinker of an idea.  At this stage, I don’t know if the idea is going to stink.  What I do know is there is sewing equipment all over the dining room awaiting use.

It’s funny how even though the blog today was about a chair, it could apply as a metaphor for life.  Sometimes, no matter how hard to try to make something old new or try to recreate a situation, there’s no getting it back.  It’s one of the pitfalls described by many wise persons as a moment we cling to that neglects the now.

Today's Cards

Pitfall. Day 192. In order of appearance.:Adventure, Traveling, The Rebel, Totality, The Creator, Letting Go, Rebirth, The Miser, Breakthrough, Ordinariness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Pitfall Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

The cards are showing a little Adventure influenced by Traveling.  The Goal is to be The Rebel in control of who we are and unconcerned with public opinion.  In this case, public opinion was the wise words of my husband.  Remember that’s the pitfall of a proper fool; it is also what gives you the Adventure.

The Creator is in the Recent Past moulding circumstances, probably when I thought it was a good idea to redo the chair instead of buying another one (it was an expensive chair!). 

Totality is in the Distant Past is likely to be the moment I undid the stitching.  The leather had deteriorated so much that little bits of sticky black leather flaked off during the undoing.

The little Adventure is the trip (Traveling) to the haberdashery store for the backing fabric to prevent the replacement fabric from fraying.  Hot on the heels of Adventure is Letting Go, whether this means Letting Go of the making the chair altogether due to lack of skill or simple the like-for-like attempt. 

My husband has already suggested just doing a sleeve instead of trying to recreate the original.  I’ve only just started, and depending on how easy this is to progress will determine the route to the finished product.   Sometimes, in life, you just have to step into the pit and fall – it can be the best way to learn

Base

My Feelings are of Rebirth, reawakening the excitement of the challenge. It’s strangely exciting to tackle something of this size and complexity for which I have minimal skills and a lot of over-enthusiastic gusto! 😁

Others’ Views of me is that I’m The Miser.  True, I am trying to save money, but the chair is old and falling apart, and a replacement one is expensive.  There is also the fun of giving the replacement a go.  If it doesn’t work, I’ve lost $20 in fabric and a couple of challenging weekends where the dining room is a mess.

Hopes & Fears are me hoping for a Breakthrough in discovering there’s an easy way to recover a chair.  On the flip side, I fear it will be more complex than initially anticipated, and it will beat me.

Finally, it’s the card of Ordinariness in the Outcome position.  Let’s face it, recovering a chair is exciting for the doer – en Moi – but is pretty ordinary.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 192

Day 191 – Revisiting the Cinema

Saturday, 10 July 2021

Cinema. Day 191. Tabled list: order of appearance. New Vision, Consciousness, Compromise, Sorrow, Clinging to the Past, Intensity, Ripeness, Innocence, Aloneness, Turning In. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Cinema Context

It has been months since we set foot in a cinema to see a movie; today, we’re revisiting it, especially since there’s another lockdown looming.

Black Widow was exciting, and I’m a fan of Scarlett Johanssen’s acting.  And the movie aside, it was so lovely to get out of the home to watch a film.  There were no interruptions or distractions.  At home, the cats want attention and believe me, they can be VERY persuasive and a touch pushy.

The thing I’ve always loved about visiting the cinema is the immersion it gives you.  Sitting in the dark, in comfortable reclining seats, with nothing to do but watch the screen, it’s almost like going through a rebirth. It’s like those times when I talk about being at the airport and have those moments just to experience the now.

One of the things that worries me about continually being inside is that I might want to stay inside.  You become comfortable and safe inside your little world; if I set up space in my home to be like a cinema, I might never leave the house. 

In my early 20’s I used to struggle to leave my rented room to go to work.  It took everything from me to open the door and walk past the threshold.  All I remember is the voice from the nurse at the family planning clinic (ex psych nurse) in my mind telling me not to let fear win.  Once it wins once, it’s harder to break overcome it next time.  Every time after that, stepping out got easier.  In short, LEAVE now! I’m so glad her voice was there.  It did get more manageable, and today it doesn’t challenge me, but I remember. 

Today's Cards

Cinema. Day 191. Tabled list: order of appearance. New Vision, Consciousness, Compromise, Sorrow, Clinging to the Past, Intensity, Ripeness, Innocence, Aloneness, Turning In. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Cinema Analysis

Carryover Cards

Three cards carried over from yesterday; Innocence moved from Goal to Others’ Views, Aloneness from Feelings to Hopes & Fears, and Turning In moved from Now to the Outcome position.

Cross

And it’s a crooked deal today, beginning with New Vision in the Now.  New Vision influenced by Consciousness and the Goal was Compromise.  Sorrow sits sadly in the Distant Past, and Clinging to the Past is in the Recent Past.   Intensity is born out of New Vision for the Future Energy.

Relating the cards to the cross-part of the Celtic cross to today’s events goes like this: New Vision is seeing a film at the cinema with mask-wearing COVID restrictions in place for Brisbane.  The Kippa-Ring Hoyts cinema is fantastic with comfy seats and a lovely sized screen. 

Consciousness is the awareness of the new situation and the cinema.  There was a Compromise, and it was mask-wearing, but we knew that before we left.

Since COVID hit the world stage with lockdowns in 2020, it caused me Sorrow to think of the cinemas potentially dying out because of the lack of accessibility.  And yes, I am Clinging to the Past when it comes to the cinema.  The experience has always been rejuvenating.

The Future Energy card of Intensity might be the reawakening of my loyalty to the cinema.  Of course, if you have a lovely cinema, that’s easy to do.

Base

Feelings of Ripeness, we’ve been waiting for an opportunity to go to the cinema; we wanted to go when Wonder Woman was released, but the COVID situation at the time inhibited efforts.  In the end, we paid Disney the same amount of money as going to the cinema except without the ice cream.  So, Ripeness describes the right moment; one thing I will say about COVID it makes you seize opportunities that present themselves.

Others’ Views is of me as Innocence.  The only person close enough to form the assessment today was my husband, and perhaps his interpretation is of me is my excitement at getting the cinema ice cream 🍦.  It could simply be an adult having fun like a child – not childish but child-like.

Aloneness is in Hopes & Fears position.  I love the movies because you can each be alone but together if you have other respectful cinemagoers.  My hope is for respectful people to attend the film I’m watching and fear that every now and again, you get a couple of people -who are probably spies running from certain death 😎- who talk through the whole movie.

My final comment on the cinema is it prompts me to turn inward (Turning In).  It’s not the kind of Turning In as in meditation but a surrender to the moment of being inside a different world.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 191

Day 190 – Recognising Personal Growth

Friday, 9 July, 2021

Personal Growth. Day 190. Tabled list: order of appearance. Turning In, Trust, Innocence, Playfulness, The Outsider, The Dream, Aloneness, Control, Ice-olation, Adventure. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Personal Growth Context

Recognising moments where you’ve changed from who you used to be, is an intriguing experience.  Most of the time, the shifts we make are so subtle you don’t notice they’ve happened until you look back on who you were and realise you’re different.

Some changes where you experience personal growth follow significant events like weddings, funerals or stressful situations.  You may not realise it at the time, but something has changed if you were to look back to how you even were pre-COVID.  Of course, you’re still the same person you’ve always been.  After all, it’s not like you can take a holiday from your shadow and come back and say “surprise!” did you miss me?  😲

The other thing is I wouldn’t want to look back ten years and discover nothing about me has changed – and I’m not talking physically.  I would hope, for myself, my tolerance of younger people has increased.  With my patience, I’d want compassion toward the more youthful me for making decisions that, in retrospect, were made with limited visibility and knowledge.

Being older allows you to see mistakes you might have made, and being older, you can see how the young might make the same mistake.  You, of course, try and warn or advise, which my younger self only paid limited attention to when someone older told me

Aiding Youth & Personal Growth

So, it’s simply about being there if they fall; it is the advantage of age; at least you know how to fix the mistakes, the person who ignored your advice made 🥱.  Personal growth also means you need to realise the world the next generation is in is different.  They might succeed where you failed.  Stuff which was new for you might be old hat to them, so make sure you also the good fellowfeel on hand if they succeed.  🎉

Personal growth happened today, or should I say I recognised a change in me when I reacted to an incident differently than in the past.  It was a pleasant surprise that my responses were more controlled, less “reaction”, and more balanced response.  Why don’t you recognise when that shift occurred until the event that needs the new you arises?

The incident, so fleeting, I didn’t note the incident because the shift in me was noticeable.  It reminded me not to pass judgement on decisions past because it doesn’t conform to today’s sensibilities.  It is both harsh and cruel. 

Today's Cards

Personal Growth. Day 190. Tabled list: order of appearance. Turning In, Trust, Innocence, Playfulness, The Outsider, The Dream, Aloneness, Control, Ice-olation, Adventure. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Personal Growth Analysis

Carryover Cards

Wow!  Eight cards carried over from yesterday, and I suspect it was late, and I didn’t shuffle the cards correctly, nor did I put the cards back individually like usual.  However, in the spirit of honesty, this is what came out, and I need to deal with the output.   The cards are notable in different positions, pointing to events changing and meaning something different, except for Turning In moving from Future Energy to Now, showing clear progression.

Turning In moved from Future Energy to the Now; Trust moved from Now to become an Influencer. Innocence moved from Distant Past to Goal. 

The Outsider moved from Others’ Views to Recent Past, where The Dream moved from Feelings to Future Energy.  Control only moved one spot from Hopes & Fears to Others’ Views, Ice-olation moved from Outcome to Hopes & Fears, and Adventure was in Recent Past and is in the Outcome position.

Cross

Turning In in the Now shows how I’ve gone back to meditating over the past couple of days.  It was something on my mind.  It might be that noticing the personal growth resulted from being more aware of my actions due to mediation this morning.  Turning In and Trust are symbiotic if this is the case.  Trust what I am feeling is correct.

Innocence as Goal is what meditation is all about, and the card depicts a wise older man conversing with a grasshopper.  From what I have indicated of my personal goals, this card sits nicely as a Goal.

Playfulness dances in the Distant Past and contributes to the Goal, desire to turn inward and in being inwardly happy and make you feel like The Outsider, which is in the Recent Past.

Alas, all the positive energy generated can lead me to believe that I will continue to meditate and grow readily.  Hence The Dream appears in Future Energy to remind me romantic notions can burst.

Base

My Feelings echo the Recent Past of The Outsider in the card of Aloneness.  Aloneness varies slightly from The Outsider in Turning In is actively seeking Aloneness, and the other is along the line of fear of missing out (FOMO).

Others’ Views is I like to be in Control.  Moving from the Hopes & Fears position yesterday, it seems I’m not hiding it very well if my goal was not to display fear my fear. 🙈.

On an inner level, my Hopes & Fears are Ice-olation.  Ice-olation in today’s reading follows the undercurrent of being on one’s own; the hope then is wanting to be alone and continue to turn in, or the fear is not to be left out or feel like The Outsider.

The final card on personal growth is Adventure in the Outcome spot.   Personal growth certainly is an Adventure, and it looks like the Adventure will continue.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Fellowfeel, from Susie Dent‘s Twitter Feed, 16 Century – to share in the feelings of others; to have compassion. To share the pain of others, 13 March 2021
End Day 190

Day 189 – Australia and New Zealand Respair

Thursday, 8 July 2021

Apology. Day 189. In order of appearance.:Trust, The Creator, Conditioning, Innocence, Adventure, Turning In, The Dream, The Outsider, Control, Ice-olation. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Apology Context

Back on Day 174, I spoke of my despair about an Australian who had lived in New Zealand who said New Zealanders didn’t like Australians in the same friendly way.   The “revelation” at the time had me crestfallen and saddened because I thought the two countries had a good thing going.  Today, I had a chat with another New Zealander who filled me with respair

As fate would have it, I was able to speak to a couple of New Zealanders who mentioned this was not the case at all.  The conversation revealed we, the countries in general, mutually respect and compete against each other intensely but fiercely, knowing we would each have the other’s back in a pickle after we’ve been in the trenches together (refer Day 115).

When it came to loving Australians just for their money, we agreed that businesses worldwide would accept money from anyone who wants to buy what they have to sell.  So, my soul has seen respair. 

By the way, respair is not me misspelling despair.  I found it on Susie Dent’s Twitter feed.  Respair is a 15th Century word meaning “the return of hope after a period of despair” or “fresh hope, a recovery from despair”.  No comment could be more relevant and appropriate for when the world moves on from the COVID-19 marathon, which has created so much despair.

Today's Cards

Apology. Day 189. In order of appearance.:Trust, The Creator, Conditioning, Innocence, Adventure, Turning In, The Dream, The Outsider, Control, Ice-olation. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Apology Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Trust moved from Feelings to Now and Control moved from Recent Past to Hopes & Fears.

Cross

Trust is in the Now influenced by The Creator.  Conditioning fills the Goal position and is the breaking of old ways of thinking.  The Trust is restored following the breaking of naivety, later transformed to Innocence.  Innocence in the Distant Past shows an acceptance of things as they appear to be.  The aged man understands every comment might be valid but lets them go and focuses on what is in front of him.

The Recent Past has Adventure and the situation for despair – and now respair – aka when we booked our trip to New Zealand.  An Adventure built on Trust leads to, in this case, a Turning In to develop awareness.

Base

The Dream, illusion, unrealistic and delusion represents my Feelings toward my Trust in what I’ve heard from both sources. 

Others’ Views are that I’m The Outsider.  Since I was speaking with Giselle (not name) from New Zealand, perhaps the old rivalry began to rear its head as to who’s The Outsider is a point of view. 😏

As for my inner Hopes & Fears, the card is Control.  Not 100% certain how this card works for this topic, but maybe I’m hoping to regain Control of my former perspective.  The fear might be the idyllic opinion bubble might be forever burst.

The Outcome card has Ice-olation.  Could this be a forewarning of what might happen in New Zealand?  Let’s assume not.  According to the Osho Book, Ice-olation is the crying out of the self-created ice with which we’ve surrounded ourselves.  Could it be thaw out the reserve I’d put up in trying to harden my heart not to get hurt if the original had given way to despair rather than respair?

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 189

Day 188 – Flies, Bugs, & Australian Slang

Wednesday, 7 July 2021

Bugs. Day 188. In order of appearance. Letting Go, New Vision, Suppression, Playfulness, Control, Rebirth, Trust, Creativity, Flowering, Intensity

Bugs Context

Today, I toy with how immigrants and bugs in Australia have transmuted a word initially thought of as rude into something less insidious.

Many, many years ago, when I was about 22 and an office secretary, I worked beneath the Sydney Harbour Bridge for a company in an office on the fourth floor.  It was summer, it was hot, and the lift (elevator) was out of order.  

One of my jobs was to put a note on the lift doors on the ground floor to let staff know they would need to use the stairs.  The business I worked for received many courier deliveries, and it was expecting the stationery order. 

The sign I put up said in large print, “Welcome to work!  The lift is out of order, so you’ll need to use the stairs.”  In small print, I added, and I intended to let couriers know we understood their plight, “If it will make you feel better, be glad you’re not the poor bugger who has to make deliveries to us.”.  

When the admin head, Marge, arrived and saw the note, she kindly asked me to reword it to exclude the word bugger.  A little shocked to be asked to remove, to my mind, a harmless and frequently used term.  After all, a TV ad had a dog use it (the word forced the ad’s removal).  Marge explained the technical meaning, and it mortified me because it certainly wasn’t my intention to use it like that!

Over the years, I’ve often thought about that incident when the word arose in everyday conversation by others.  Again, if I mentioned to them what it meant – they too were horrified.  This disconnect between what we thought we were saying to what we were meaning kept my thoughts going. 

The Dawning of Bugs

It wasn’t until my trip through southeast Africa that I stumbled across how Australians might interpret the word.  On the Africa trip were a couple of Danes.  By the way, Danes or Scandinavians always seem to be my trips.   As we headed off for the day, the truck had a flat tyre in the early morning.  One of the Dane’s made an innocent comment that it was the first “punctuation” we’d had on the trip. 

The native English speakers, looking at the flat tyre, got the meaning and context of the word ‘punctuation’.  It was also the incorrect word.  It made sense even if it wasn’t the word puncture.  However, if the Dane’s used punctuation out of context to describe a flat tyre, it might leave the recipient scratching their head.

Africa, like Australia, is not without its flies, bugs or bees.  Once we fixed the puncture, we all assumed our seats; a couple of us took a turn in the ‘dog box’ and drove until lunch.  After lunch, I sat in the back of the truck, and unluckily for the Danes, they chose the dog box.  Don’t get me wrong, the dog box is fantastic, but it was unlucky because the truck had driven through a swarm of bees, and they got stung.  To this, one of the Dane’s commented they didn’t like being ‘buggered’, meaning having been attacked by bugs.  Everyone laughed, but for me, the penny dropped as to how Australians might have adopted the term.

Image from Exodus Expeditions

Adoption of Bugger for Bugs

Australians are used to a variety of insects, in particular flies.  Flies come in all sorts of types; according to the CSIRO, about 400 species of the March fly exist in Australia!  They’re also known as horse flies.  Not to mention the blue house fly or bluebottle fly.  A phrase you might hear uttered by an Australian is, “I was running around like a blue house fly” (which translates to fast and all over the place).

Australia is also home to immigrants who aren’t from English speaking backgrounds, and the use of the word ‘bugger’ and bugs are a logical association.   Hence, I think this is how it became part of the Australian vernacular. 

It also explains why I didn’t find it offensive, having parents with strong European accents who used the word all the time.  Possibly from some of the outback trips, we’d taken as children. 

The majority of Australians wouldn’t know why they use it and would be upset if you mentioned its source word.  You see, it seems like a made-up word, and it makes sense in Australia to apply it to the constant onslaught of pesky critters.

Bugger, its Forms, and Possible Uses

Following are derivatives of the word bugger and how I think their origins began with bugs or flies:

Buggered off – slang short for ‘couldn’t be bothered giving it any attention, so just kept moving’.  Every time someone does an Australian salute – a quick wave of the hand to shoo flies – and the flies leave you alone, the flies have “buggered off”.  If you go somewhere and don’t care for the place and leave, you’ve buggered off. 

Buggered equals exhausted.  It applies when a person in Australia says they’re “buggered”.   Simply it means, they’re “exhausted from fighting”, and what’s unsaid, “off flies, insects or pests.  If you come home from a long day at work, or you’ve been as busy as a blue house fly, you’d be correct in saying you were buggered.  It has become synonymous with exhaustion.

Bugger!  Massive frustration, and again, if you apply it to the number of flies or bugs around.  The word is an accurate reflection of the mounting frustration that finally cracks your self-control.

If something’s a bugger, it’s because it’s annoying, like a fly constantly buzzing around you.  A phrase like, “well, that’s a bugger, isn’t it” translates to “well that’s annoying, isn’t it”.

Oh, bugger!  Like “oh, shit!” are sometimes expressed instead of the “shit” word to avoid swearing.  This word replacement also makes sense if you’re referring to flies that fly about, and or you happen to swallow a fly! 

So, getting back to my story with Marge and how I referred to the delivery drivers and the couriers as “poor buggers”.  Quite simply, their job, by nature and necessity, is to interrupt your daily flow, which is annoying.  So, they are people who “bug” you like bugs do, aka annoy you.

Bugs with Cuteness

Sometimes you could hear bugger used with gruff affection, like, “he’s a cute little bugger”, or “come here you rascally bugger”, or “he’s a cheeky bugger”.  Usually, the gruff affectionate form will have another adjective added before it to show its light-hearted intent. 

When applying this light-hearted version, it could mean that the person is annoying and endearing simultaneously.  Like toward your child, who you have caught being mischievous with their hand in the cookie jar.  It’s important to listen for the tone of voice.

The phrase “come here, you bugger” could work on many levels, from the angry to the affectionate.  However, there’s always a slight insinuation of annoying.  For instance, saying Neil’s a smart bugger could mean someone clever, but his cleverness can be annoying, or he’s both intelligent, and he’s annoying. 

Look at that; I’ve come to the end of the page – bugger!

Today's Cards

Bugs. Day 188. Tabled list: order of appearance. Letting Go, New Vision, Suppression, Playfulness, Control, Rebirth, Trust, Creativity, Flowering, Intensity. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Only one card carried over from yesterday; Suppression, and it stayed in the Goal position.

Cross

Playfulness is in the Distant Past, and it a point to which I like to return, or should I say awaken anew.  In the more Recent Past, I’ve felt that I’m just going through the motions at work (Control).

The Control has felt necessary if I’m to suppress, and Suppression has been the Goal for two days, where I’m finding my sense of fun.  Work isn’t horrible; the people are “nice”; it’s just not fun or playful.

Today it’s me in the process of Letting Go of emotions and the Stress from yesterday.  New Vision influenced today’s playful interpretation of the word ‘bugger’.

By Letting Go of stress and, to some extent, control over the environment, a Rebirth of Playfulness can occur.

Base

My Feelings on Letting Go is that I need to simply Trust.  The card’s image is a person diving off an invisible diving board into an open sky; Trust is Letting Go!

Others’ Views is that I’m using Creativity or that I’m creative.  As I’ve mentioned on a couple of occasions, knowing how others perceive you when you’re not engaging with them is difficult; it’s tricky to read your cards because you’re not necessarily objective.

Hopes & Fears has the card of Flowering.  Flowering is about being at home with yourself, your sex.  I hope I can embrace Letting Go but fear it’s going to be challenging to do so.

Finally, it’s Intensity in the Outcome position.  Intensity is like a bushfire, wild and multi-directional, which is what Letting Go might do according to the cards.

Well, we come to the end of the day’s with bugs and bugger forming a peculiar relationship which strangely makes sense.   Now, I appreciate this is probably not how the word bugs transmuted into bugger, but it was a fun exercise to see how applicable I could make it.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 188
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