Soul Searching

Day 243 – Birthdays I Remember-Forget

Tuesday, 31 August 2021

Day 243. Birthdays. Cards in order of appearance: Harmony, Receptivity, New Vision, Success, The Master, Guidance, Inner Voice, Slowing Down, Schizophrenia, The Source, Deck pile shuffle

Birthdays Remember-Forget Context

Here we are at the end of another month, and I’ve remember-forgot some friends’ birthdays.  Rita, who you may have read about in the early days of my blog, has her birthday today.  Now, I don’t know if Susie Dent has a word for remember-forget, but I couldn’t find a word to describe it.  I’m sure, as soon as I write about it, the topic will make an appearance in my life. 

Much like I found out, scurryfunge is that word for the last-minute scurry before visitors arrive, instead of calling it visitor sickness (Day 085), which was our family’s term for it.   Today, however, it’s about remembering and forgetting and remembering again.  A search showed a few songs cover the unable to forget theme along with song titles such as “I forgot to remember to forget” (Bonnie Guitar).

About a week ago, it was Olivia’s birthday and I remembered-forgot to send wishes on that day too. Usually, it’s my thing to remember people’s birthdays, even before we could enter the dates into mobile phones to remind us!

Two Birthdays?!

Both days began with me fully intending to give them a call or take time to compose a text entirely of heart-felt words about how glad and lucky I am to have each of them in my life.  That was the first thing.  Then I got out of bed, and the morning routine kicked in, and I clean forgot about their birthdays until two minutes before the meeting, just before lunch, when I remembered and made a note on my physical notepad to send a message after the meeting at lunch. 

The meetings happened, and I got diverted into action, probably actioning some items the meeting generated for me and forgot again.  It was home time, and finally, the workday left my mind, and I remember the scribbled note on my notepad to send a text.  I’ll do it when I get home – no excuses.

You could see where this was going, couldn’t you?  Yes, I forgot again and at various points throughout the night remembered-forgot loop kept happening.  Until finally, in bed, about to close my eyes and … “shoot!  Too late now, tomorrow.”

Today's Cards

Birthdays. Day 243. Cards in order of appearance: Harmony, Receptivity, New Vision, Success, The Master, Guidance, Inner Voice, Slowing Down, Schizophrenia, The Source, Deck pile shuffle

The Cards - Birthdays Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; Success moved from Future Energy to Distant Past.

Cross

Success moving from Future Energy to Distant Past means Success didn’t last long – does it ever 🤔 – it always feels so short.  Keeping it in with the context of the day, the Success would relate to my ability in the past to remember people’s birthdays as a way of letting them know they’re important to me.

In the Recent Past is The Master, rightly suggests I have somehow become detached from my need to send birthday text messages to people who know I love them.          

Receptivity influences the Harmony card in the Now position, suggesting I do not feel guilty about not sending the texts even if I’m sad the messages didn’t get sent.      

New Vision I see as my yoga card symbolising strength and flexibility connecting to creative energies; it sits in the Goal position as I work on a new way to communicate my affection.

Future Energy has Guidance representing an upcoming “awakening” on what I need to do

Base

We move from Future Energy to Feelings position, which has Inner VoiceInner Voice is one of those echo cards.  The card’s name of Inner Voice ties in neatly with Guidance, but it also has the colours from Harmony and Receptivity, both of which encourage a peaceful trusting of your gut instinct.  In short, when getting prompted by my Inner Voice to text a birthday greeting to someone, just do it!

Others’ Views are of me Slowing Down.  Wonder whether this is in response to me Slowing Down as I get older, and the drive to absolutely stay on top of every birthday is too tricky.  Or whether it’s that I need to slow down?

Hopes & Fears suggests I hope I can hold everything together (Schizophrenia) and send caring text messages but fear that it won’t be possible because I’ve let these couple of birthday texts slip through the cracks. 😟

Finally, The Source is in the Outcome position and suggests I need to do some Slowing Down and revisit why I feel compelled to remember people’s birthdays.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Tarot Layouts – has the layouts in calendar format
End Day

Day 241 – Kickstarter for a Perfect Bag

Sunday, 29 August 2021

kickstarter. Day 241. Cards in order of appearance: Turning In, Receptivity, No-thingness, Understanding, Schizophrenia, The Fool, Rebirth, The Outsider, The Miser, Participation, Standard Shuffle

Kickstarter Context

Before COVID and depending on the project, I got to travel.  I also work in an office, and for many years I had been searching for the perfect versatile, professional-looking backpack or tote that would carry my laptop and gym gear.

While searching out the Internet or was it YouTube, oh, it doesn’t matter.  I came across this beautiful ad for the bag of my dreams.  The bag was terrific!  It was a 6-in-1, elegant, medium-sized and looked marvellous.  Therefore, I had to have one.  I clicked on the link, and it took me not to a professional bag site but Kickstarter. 

Really?  This was a Kickstarter project?  This site was my first adventure into the Kickstarter universe.  My focus was solely on this superb example of bag design.  And after doing my research into the company, I discovered it was three young girls who had not only found a similar situation regarding the lack of professional-looking bags, but they took action to design the 6-in-1. It’s also fortunate; they had the skills to make it a reality.

What the La Mansio trio probably hadn’t expected was the overwhelming success their bag would attract.  The goal was to reach AU$15,000 from backers to make a run of these bags when last I looked; they had got AU$2.5 million!  I can only imagine the effort to coordinate the unexpected increase in orders for the design. 

Taking the Plunge

So, I, too, added my name to the list of backers hoping the girls could pull off such a massive request.  It was a little scary for me to back a Kickstarter project because there are no guarantees you’ll get a product at the end of it. There’s a line stating failure to reach the target could result in no reward (product).

With the original goal exceeding its target, the problem is the very success.  If you’ve arranged for a manufacturer to produce, say 100, and suddenly you ask for 5000, the original company you selected might not be big enough to cope.  Then you need to get the logistics of the bag sorted out, even if you have a manufacturer that can upscale to the Kickstarter’s success. 

Having said all that, I can wait!  The team at La Mansio seem incredibly competent! I hope the 6-in-1 bag is as good as it looks.

Today's Cards

Kickstarter. Day 241. Cards in order of appearance: Turning In, Receptivity, No-thingness, Understanding, Schizophrenia, The Fool, Rebirth, The Outsider, The Miser, Participation, Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Kickstarter Analysis

Carryover Cards

Three cards carried over from yesterday; No-thingness moved from Hopes & Fears to Goal, The Fool moved from Goal to Future Energy, The Miser went from Recent Past to Hopes & Fears.

Cross

In the Distant Past, I was of the Understanding that a bag I wanted was going to be challenging to find. 

I presumed that if I ever came across such a bag, I hoped it was affordable.  Thus, sending a message to the universe that I was open to whatever solution it wanted to guide my way.    The last sentence encompasses the Goal of No-thingness and the influence of Receptivity.

And here I am now Turning In to reflect on whether it was the right choice to invest in a Kickstarter project.  My internal conflict shows in the Recent Past card of SchizophreniaThe Fool in Future Energy serves to remind me of the risk.  Fortunately, The Fool is mostly lucky – fingers-crossed.

Base

It’s enjoyable to have a Rebirth of something I had all but forgotten.  The Rebirth has an uplifting feeling, and I like that it’s a Kickstarter project; there’s a sense of connection with the project directly.  And by investing, it’s certainly opened my eyes to how the whole Kickstarter world operates.

Others’ Views are of me being The Outsider.  My guess is, The Outsider is because I’ve now embarked on something, while heard of, isn’t a typical purchasing method.

Now, one of the issues with the Kickstarter is there were multiple funding and reward options; I selected one in the middle around what I thought would be a reasonable cost for such a bag and contributing to the original design and supporting the project. 

The Miser is in the Hopes & Fears and aptly applies to my emotions in the situation.  I hope not to be The Miser with my purchase but fear I may have given too little.  Sadly, it’s one of the areas I spend too much thinking time.

Finally, the Participation is in the Outcome position.  I’m not sure how this applies, but on reading the comments and feedback section of the website, it’s nice to see regular responses from the La Mansio Kickstarter trio.   

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Tarot Layouts for each the month
End Day 241

Day 238 – The Improvement – Not

Thursday, 26 August 2021

Improvement. Day 238. Cards in order of appearance: Abundance, Laziness, Ordinariness, We are the World, Traveling, Going with the Flow, Exhaustion, Completion, Turning In, Compromise, Standard Shuffle

The Improvement Context

Back on Day 181, I wrote about applications and organisations “improving away features”.  As it happens, today, it was Microsoft Word that provided me with the perfect example.  Quite often, when a feature disappears, I ask in frustration whether it was really the improvement?  The other question I ask is whether I was the only person using it?  Hence perhaps why the change happened.   

When I write these posts these days, I use Grammarly.  And, up until today, MS Word’s built-in “Grammar & Spelling” checker received the improvement.

By the way, Grammarly is great for improving grammar; I recommend it for people who are lazy with commas 😏.  However, there are times when a passive sentence, written well, is not identified as such.  It might be because nothing in the sentence lends itself to making it an “active” sentence.  Microsoft Word and Yoast SEO (the website plug-in) helps, amongst other things, assess an article’s readability.

My process was thus: first, I would write the post, and depending on my level of confidence in my writing, I would activate Grammarly while I type or after I’ve typed it.  Once Grammarly is satisfied, the content goes into the website template, and in there, I try to get green “bullets” from Yoast SEO for readability.  There is the odd occasion when readability says there are too many passive sentences. 

Not wanting to make the reading experience too tedious for the reader, I go back to the Word document and use Word’s “Spelling & Grammar” checker.  Its ruthless stance on active and passive helps me narrow down the offending sentences when I run the check paragraph by paragraph, then line by line.  If possible, the line is either massaged or beaten into submission – you will be active!  Ahh, that’s the improvement it’s after.

The Feature

Today, with new eyes, I head back to a sentence that had refused submission, hoping to try again and perhaps cajole it into activity.  Once reworded, I seek out my harshest critic in Word.  What?  Where’s it gone?  The “Tell Me” function in Microsoft is lovely mostly.  It usually remembers what you’ve previously used, so where is it?  I didn’t reboot.  Hmmm.  The loss of it in Tell Me almost feels like gaslighting.  You’re sure it was there, but perhaps it wasn’t. 

Okay.  Let’s tackle this from a different angle, the long way.  Tools, Spelling & Grammar, Huh?  Alright.  Maybe there’s been an update in O365 for MacOS, which has reset things.   Oh, no!  Please don’t tell me that it is not there (drum roll) “the improvement”.  So, how do I get the old stuff to show the even longer way?  You know, back to basics. 

A search using my friendly browser turned up an article updated not so long ago, 12 July 2021, by Anne Hennegar at Time Atlas on Word Readability Statistics and Alternatives.  Anne writes about how to ensure all your settings are correct.  Done.  All preferences are in place.  Now, back to Tools, Spelling & Grammar – still nothing.  There seems to be this new thing called “Editor”, and while it looks fancy is no help whatsoever. 

That’s a bit harsh.  It did help me pick up a couple of capitalisation errors, some spaces after full stops/ periods.  Editor also didn’t like a semi-colon I used somewhere, but Grammarly thought it was fine.  Since I set the Grammarly preferences to default to Australian English, Grammarly thought it was fine.  On the other hand, Word lets me believe I’ve selected Australian English, but it still has a couple of subtle American English-isms that irk me.

Disclaimer

Now, I’m just playing around, but there is an element of frustration.  The average Australian will have you believe that other language quirks are “meh”, and it doesn’t annoy them.  It’s part of the Australian “brand”, not to get annoyed but to poke fun.  There’s some level of annoyance if you’re corrected, and the improvement isn’t noticeable, particularly when it comes to nicknames.

And you’d be letting the team down by saying something was more significant than a “meh”, and for the most part, it doesn’t.  But everyone has at least one gripe; what makes it difficult to spot is that different Australians have one annoyance – and who said we’re not a diverse nation? 

However, there’s this beautiful thing called technology, and if I don’t understand the meaning of a word, I can look it up.  I don’t see sense in making everyone the same; fun is the differences, and changing it wouldn’t be the improvement we’re seeking.  

So, type colour any way you want; a spell checker will know what you mean and correct it as complementary to your culture.  There are cultural nuances, too; I’ve written about one on Day 188.

Back to what’s the improvement.  Now, where do I go to tackle passive sentences?  Yoast SEO tells me they exist but doesn’t tell me which ones.  Hmmm, maybe I’ll dump them into a plain, unformatted WordPress page; there are a couple of “spelling and grammar” check things in there.

Then

Before The Improvement. Previous output.

Now with The Improvement

After The Improvement. Simply checkboxes without statistics and ambiguous words like clarity.

Today's Cards

Improvement. Day 238. Cards in order of appearance: Abundance, Laziness, Ordinariness, We are the World, Traveling, Going with the Flow, Exhaustion, Completion, Turning In, Compromise, Standard Shuffle

The Cards - The Improvement Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Laziness moved from Feelings to Influence, Going with the Flow moved from Goal to Future Energy.

Cross

Travelling in the Recent Past was my journey to O’Reilly’s Rainforest Retreat.  It allowed me to get to Abundance.  And We are the World is in the Distant Past gave rise to today’s Abundance.  Abundance, however, is influenced by Laziness

As I sit here on vacation, I can see how Laziness and Abundance work together, looking out at the beautiful scenery.  The Abundance of beauty, energy, love, relaxation and Laziness to do anything with any of it.  Focussing on writing stops me from soaking in the beauty of where I am.  Ahh.

Ordinariness as the Goal is simply just enjoying life and worrying about something as “trivial” as the improvement of Microsoft Word’s spelling and grammar feature!

In the end, Future Energy will be Going with the Flow.

Base

My Feelings are of Exhaustion at all levels of my being, physical, emotional and spiritual.  Maybe it’s the physical exercise 🥱, and it’s fighting to let go or finding a sweet spot between my self-inflicted merry-go-sorry. 

At least today, the Others’ Views is an easy one to identify because it’s the Completion card, and we’re leaving O’Reilly’s.  Aha!  That’s why I’m exhausted; I don’t want to go 😢. 

Hopes & Fears has Turning In.  The good thing about coming up here and getting close to nature is that it reinvigorates my desire to meditate.  Therefore, I hope this is true, and I can put it into practice when I get home.  The sad thing is Turning In might not happen, and that’s the fear.

Finally, the Outcome is Compromise.  Maybe we’ll squeeze a short walk in before we get home?  Now that’ll be the improvement I had in mind.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Queensland Health Coronavirus Vaccines page
End Day 238

Day 228 – The Dream of Happiness

Monday, 16 August 2021

Day 228. Cards in order of appearance: Suppression, Breakthrough, The Outsider, Exhaustion, Past Lives, Intensity, Completion, Integration, Healing, Silence, Washing Machine

The Dream Context

As of Day 219, I had claimed I would simplify my writing to help catch up-up.  Of course, yesterday, Day 227, was not short – text wise.  Today, then I will do better.  My notes refer to a conversation with my husband and my thoughts on Osho’s interpretation of The Dream.  Or at least what’s written in the book which accompanies his cards.

Notes:

  1. Mark thought that the activity on Day 212 responded to his saying I wasn’t fit enough for a seven-day walk in the outback (Larapinta Ranges). My response to that was, “Excuse me?!” 

Hmmm, maybe I protest-eth a little too much!  Okay, there was some truth to it, but the main and dominating reason was to exercise my ankle on more rugged terrain than the footpaths around the home.

  1. What are my thoughts on The Dream card text by Osho following yesterday’s Outcome?

Viewpoint Parameters

Before I begin on a “rant” which I could wind up agreeing with, in maybe one to twenty years, I’m going to set some disclaimers, parameters or simple justifications. 

Firstly, for the most part, I sincerely enjoy Buddhism and some of its affiliated off-shoot religions.  Osho, in particular, I’ve found has been more flexible with some views.  Yet, at his core, he’s still following Buddhist religious principles.  By the way, it’s wonderful.  But like in Christianity, there’s a dichotomy between free will and things each religion sees as a foundational precept.  I hold no judgement on this because “it is what it is”.

That said, I’m all for the free will angle (which is hard for me as I’m an authoritarian at heart, I think).  Therefore, I’m pursuing my critique of The Dream, as it stands, from today’s perspective. 

First, the pages I’m referring to:

The Dream card with Osho's description of card.
The Dream Osho's Interpretation

The Interpretation

One of the things I occasionally enjoy is a paradox, and as Madonna sings in the song Like it or Not (Confessions on the Dance Floor – LyricFind), “Life is a paradox, and it doesn’t make much sense”.  Osho’s The Dream card is also a paradox from where I sit.  

On the one hand, we that humanity is a communal being, and we thrive in communities. Then, on the other hand, we have schools of thought encased in religion, saying that we focus on love relationships to avoid admitting we’re alone.  Almost saying we should go it alone.  

Oh, okay! I’m deliberately obtuse about the interpretation of The Dream the way Osho teaches it, and I’m sure he doesn’t mean we should go it alone.  Who would open my jars or help with the housework?

Many people know they’re alone, but why does it mean we have to acknowledge it every minute of every day?  Anyone who has listened to Billy Joel’s My Life (MusixMatch) and identified with the lyrics:

They will tell you you can't sleep alone in a strange place
Then they'll tell you you can't sleep with somebody else
Oh, but sooner or later, you sleep in your own space
Either way, it's okay; you wake up with yourself.

To me, this made perfect sense. You’re always alone, and even if you wake up with somebody next to you, you’re still alone.

Now, it’s essential to realise that being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely.

Happiness on a Platter

What I do agree with is the line in The Dream where, “Nobody, whether it’s your current mate or some dreamed-of partner in the future, has any obligation to deliver your happiness on a platter – nor could they even if they wanted to”.

“Happiness is an inside job” is a line that I used a lot growing up, when I longed for that “dreamed-of partner” to make me happy (Dan McBride’s words from a cassette on “How to Develop a Successful Sales Strategy, Part A) rang through my mind.  The phrase reminded me to listen to myself and make me happy first.  My happiness and confidence in myself will then be able to help others be happy.

And for a long time, I’ve believed that two individuals are not halves of one another but should be two whole people who come together and work as a team, each lending their strengths to the relationship.  Maybe, that’s a bit of the project manager in me coming to the fore, or is it the other way around?

Oh, dear! I’ve gotten carried away.  I’m going to wrap it up there; there are more days to write. 🎉

Today's Cards

Day 228. Cards in order of appearance: Suppression, Breakthrough, The Outsider, Exhaustion, Past Lives, Intensity, Completion, Integration, Healing, Silence, Washing Machine

The Cards - The Dream Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Exhaustion moved from Future Energy to Distant Past, Silence moved from Others’ Views to Outcome.

Cross

It looks like Exhaustion moved quickly from Future Energy to Distant Past. But it has provided the foundation for today’s set of cards.  Because I’m exhausted, Exhaustion has pushed me inward and caused Suppression in the Now.

The Outsider in the Goal position indicates that the withdrawal is voluntary.  A Breakthrough from my view of The Dream can be challenging. 

Past Lives is the period before I met my husband, and yesterday’s anniversary in the Recent Past brought it to mind.

Future Energy has the card of Intensity which is the raw power of an Australian bushfire 🔥.  I can’t say how this relates to today’s reading, except it could reflect my passion that people can be in loving relationships and not use it to fight aloneness.

Base

Completion is my Feelings on the topic of Day 212 concerning my desire to go for a hilly walk.  That’s done and dusted!

Others’ Views on today’s topic is that of Integration.  Integration being able to work with the paradox, making a fusion between aloneness and unity.

I am desperately hoping that Healing is what I’m currently undergoing.  If I’m not Healing, then I fear what is happening is something that will need Healing.  Alas, my Hopes & Fears expressed.

The Outcome card is Silence, and the gaining of inner peace happens in releasing the suppressed.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 228

Day 226 – Jinxes and the Unknowable Path

Saturday, 14 August 2021

Day 226. Cards in order of appearance: Participation, Morality, The Dream, Change, Beyond Illusion, Innocence, Thunderbolt, Past Lives, The Burden, Inner Voice, Standard Shuffle

Jinxing Context

The last time Mark, my husband, and I took a walk at JC Slaughter Falls, we had news of a lockdown when we got to the summit.  To avoid jinxing the walk, this time we avoided going to the café.  Thus, making the walk purely exercise.

Many things were going through my mind about which to write during the walk but, I put most of them to the side and hoped the topics would return when it came time to blog.  The only thing to write about is jinxing things and how silly it is to have such a superstition, yet we all seem to have a superstition about something.

One of my many and varied comes when I’m watching my football team.  For instance, when the game was on, I was doing housework.  The cleaning was a productive use of supporter energy.  And while I cleaned, my team kept winning. 

When I finally decided to sit and watch the game, the other team scored a goal.  I’d made three attempts to sit and watch the game, and three times the opposition scored with the momentum looking to shift their way.  Coincidence?  Or was I making a difference?  I led myself to believe that my effort was contributing to the team’s momentum. 

At the time, it seemed sitting was empowering to the wrong side.  As long as I actively did the housework, I seemed to be jinxing the opponent.  When I ran out of things to clean, I began on the windows surrounding the television.  It was an exhausting game for me!  But our place was spotless with clean windows to boot!

Unknowable Path

The reason superstitions and jinxes are so effective is because you’ll never know what might have happened if you had done things differently.  There’s no evidence, except the evidence sought with a confirmational bias to prove the point. 

It’s interesting to note, when the next time I tried cleaning, it didn’t work.  That time, I needed to stay put and give my undivided attention to the game.  At other times, my viewing is the reason they lost.  Not watching the game so the team can win smacks of martyrdom, but I do it for my team 😉.

I think I simply feel invested if I feel I’m doing something to help them win; in my head, I believe this. 🙃 Of course, if the team loses, I hadn’t found the right way to assist or beat the jinx, or perhaps it’s just some days you need to experience losing. 

And even though losing can be devastating, it’s still a weirdly “fun” part of the experience.  It’s like picking at a scab or testing a bruise.  You know it’s going to hurt if you touch it, but poke it, we do.  Maybe that’s just me?

The point is, of course, we will never know if the jinx had changed if I persisted in sitting down whether the momentum shifts that happened would have happened regardless.  Now and again, I have to remind myself that while my energy, like the energy of praying, might contribute a little, it’s unlikely to be the only “ALL” difference.  Other factors need to happen to support the focus around the way the wind is blowing.  Some events might just need to be jinx or no jinx.  How’s that for a fatalistic approach?

Escaping a Jinx

How do you escape these insidious jinxes or superstitions to become a logical person?  I’m not sure you can become utterly devoid of them.  Any ritual or even habit can take on a resemblance of a superstition.  The jinx is the ensuing bad luck derived from not following the routine.

Maybe it’s wise to confine superstition and jinxes to unknowable alternatives rather than say that I need to brush my teeth a certain way every morning.  Doing your teeth a certain way might ensure you cover every part of your mouth.  The trick comes from you not brushing for one day and feeling something evil will happen as a consequence.  One time missed won’t hurt.  Right? 

Of course, bad luck might just be the way the cookie crumbles or the pieces land, but you’ll never know.  If it’s not hurting anyone, it can become one of your “things” by which people will remember you as you pass through their life. 

Today's Cards

Day 226. Cards in order of appearance: Participation, Morality, The Dream, Change, Beyond Illusion, Innocence, Thunderbolt, Past Lives, The Burden, Inner Voice, Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Three cards carried over from yesterday; Morality moved from Outcome to Influence, Change moved from Recent Past to Distant Past, and Inner Voice moved from Influence to Outcome.

Cross

The Change in yesterday‘s Recent Past has moved to become the Distant Past today.  Yesterday was all about the number thirteen and how it was superstition, and today was about jinxes and the preventative superstitions for team losses, another form of superstition.

Maybe both the superstitions come from the same source in the past; the “juju” might be something handed down from adult to child for generations.  The only thing that changes is what superstition is influencing.

In the Context, under “Unknowable Alternate Path”, by Participation as a team supporter, the jinx exists in the Now in the first place.  Of course, I have the overbearing presence of doing and saying the right things (Morality) regarding viewership and Participation

The Change in the Distant Past continues its presence in Beyond Illusion, which is the card of the chrysalis shifting from the caterpillar to the butterfly.

Beyond Illusion is the fulfilment of the day’s Goal of The DreamThe Dream, by contrast, is full of illusion; the illusion, in this case, being my belief that what I do as a supporter matter.  While I sometimes believe, on rare occasions, it does. 

But I’m pleasantly deluding myself as an enjoyment like the wise Innocence of one making playful conversation with a grasshopper, although knowing full well the grasshopper is unlikely to understand.  It’s what the Innocence card in Future Energy presents.

Base

While writing this post, I moved from knowing superstition was in the unknowable; I suddenly felt it; which is why Thunderbolt is in the Feelings position.

Others’ Views believe that Past Lives is affecting me and my superstitions or a jinx; who am I to gainsay otherwise?  😏

 The Burden in Hopes & Fears appears natural when superstitions and jinxes are involved.  Mentally you hope not to be manipulated by your fear of not doing or doing what your superstition tells you, but how do you get out of it?  Yet, the fear of the alternate holds you to your ritual/s.

In the end, you just need to listen to your Inner Voice to ensure the Outcome you want to achieve and not be trapped by a jinx.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 226

Day 225 – It’s All About Thirteen

Friday, 13 August 2021

Day 225. Cards in order of appearance: Silence, Inner Voice, Control, Slowing Down, Change, The Source, Maturity, Comparison, Adventure, Morality, Fan Selection

Thirteen Context

There are many articles on why Friday the 13th is an unlucky day, and some of them are playful (BBC).  Christian beliefs are related to the number of guests at the Last Supper where Judas attended (history.com).  It was similar to Valhalla in Nordic mythology, where twelve gods assembled to feast, and Loki gate-crashed it to cause mischief (Wikipedia 1 and Wikipedia 2).

Back when I did a numerology course, the number 13 was considered a karmic number, as was the number 14 – there are other karmic numbers, of course, but today is about the number 13.

In numerology, numbers get added together and pulled apart into their visual components.  For instance, 13 is made up of one and three and add to make four.  One is leading and being the first, and the three is about multiple activities happening simultaneously.  The number four is about foundations or the building of them.

I had heard at some point; the number thirteen was considered unlucky by the simple fact that innumeracy was prolific in the past and couldn’t count to thirteen.  Twelve was a high as was practical to measure.  The innumeracy argument was thin, but it became more robust when people who could count to thirteen were considered witches or heretics.

Seeking Patterns

So, how does this make it a karmic number?  In truth, I don’t know.  Karmic numbers, from what I remember, are numbers with significant consequences.  There is a degree of complexity concerning karmic numbers that applies to individuals and their birth dates. 

Suffice it to say that a person’s birthday becomes their personal “karmic” number.  Recurrences of this number, either manufactured, coincidental or serendipitous, have applicability to that individual.  

A work colleague in Melbourne often recanted the number of times the number thirteen entered her life.  You see, Sylvia was born on the thirteenth of X month.  Sylvia was fond of saying she met her husband, got married, divorced, second husband, settled house loan, et cetera, but you get the picture. 

Basically, while having a birthday on such a divisive day, Sylvia relished in the number’s infamy, thereby seeking it out and further adding to the list of “thirteens” in her life.  As far as she was concerned, the bingo call sign of “Number 13 – lucky for some” was as apt as they come.  After all, her birthdays got celebrated by a loving family, and it brought gifts and cake.

The critical point about Sylvia’s story is, if you go looking for a connection or pattern, you’re most likely going to find one.

Neglecting Karmic Numbers

Now, look at the number thirteen as the bringer of significant change to foundations.  How you approach the challenge or how the foundations hold up comes down entirely to attitude.  Bear in mind that a substantial change does not have to be something dramatic or earthshattering; it can be subtle and unremarkable – at first.

The shift for the number thirteen will happen even if you pretend the number doesn’t exist.  It’s the order of things, you can call thirteen twenty-six, but it will still be that position however you brand it.  A tree is a tree is a tree.  You can no more change its order like you can change the way the sun rises and sets. 

You are ignoring the number thirteen only compounds the work the karmic number fourteen has to do.  Thirteen is about challenging foundations, and fourteen is about holding steady, rebuilding or sweeping debris.  Although you can’t compound day 13 and day 14 or any month, you can compound on human-made orders such as floors and hotel rooms.

I love the hotel on Thursday Island because it put me in room Thirteen.  It was a balanced hotel.  Why did this hotel have a number thirteen?  Easy.  The locals didn’t even know that “thirteen” was a thing not to have.  Nobody local ever worried about it.   Torres Strait Islanders’ heritage is different and did not have a base of Christian or Nordic.

Don’t worry; each culture has its owns culture-induced fears.  Nonetheless, change still occurs for the locals on karmic days, even if it isn’t a big deal.  Change happens all the time.  It’s simply humankind’s way of explaining the world.

Today's Cards

Day 225. Cards in order of appearance: Silence, Inner Voice, Control, Slowing Down, Change, The Source, Maturity, Comparison, Adventure, Morality, Fan Selection

The Cards - Thirteen Analysis

Carryover Cards

One card carried over from yesterday; Inner Voice moved from Outcome to Influence position.

Cross

Distant Past’s Slowing Down creates a Recent Past of Change that prompts an Understanding which influences a need for Silence.  

At the beginning of the day, the desire for a Goal around balance and Control formed. In the end, The Source is Future Energy.

The above translates to taking time to think on the number thirteen.  For me, the number had a minimal impact today, except maybe understanding the effects of the number thirteen.

Base

My exposure to numerology had given me an understanding of how things might fit together.  Personally, thirteen has been good and bad and sometimes simultaneously so.  For instance, my parents got divorced when I was thirteen.  It was traumatic for my mother, and I knew things were changing, but I wasn’t aware of the impact. 

In the end, their divorce was a blessing for me.  It wasn’t until I gained Maturity, and these are my Feelings, that I fully understood the benefits of something, which was at the time an upheaval.

Others’ Views are of Comparison, or they see me as doing a lot of comparing.  I can’t argue with that!

As for the Hopes & Fears card of Adventure, apart from the obvious of me wanting to simply hope for an enjoyable adventure and fear that the odds will eventually throw an unexpected Adventure my way.

Morality is in the Outcome position, and Morality is about doing things in a socially and societally acceptable way.  When it comes to the number thirteen, I will probably be like Silvia and enjoy the infamy while at the same time being slightly wary.  Hey, a baker’s dozen is always a bonus! 

From what I understand, a baker’s dozen was always twelve plus one for the road.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. As opposed to Day 224, today was bigger than I intended.  Looks like my lifetime character-arc still needs work.
End Day 225

Day 214 – Tarot Cards and Essential Services?

Monday, 2 August 2021

Essential. Day 214 Layout in order of appearance: The Lovers, Aloneness, Ripeness, Totality, Participation, Integration, The Master, Experiencing, Guilt, Silence.

Essential Context

Well, we’re in lockdown, and my husband is working from home again.  It’s nice to have him here; we work well together in the same place (in different rooms).  A pre-meeting chat on my work front sees me react to an indignant remark about a tarot reader considering herself an essential service.  

Working in a very “corporate” world, I had agreed that I wouldn’t consider a tarot reader an “essential service”.  To my astonishment, I caught myself making the automatic, unthinking response.  It was a societally acceptable response, but how much thought had gone into it. 

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not that much of a rebel that I need to buck societal nuances for the sake of it – anymore. 😏  The response was flippant, and I had even owned I was a tarot reader.  But following it with I didn’t consider it an essential service.  Then again, it’s not my living.  I knew when the words left my mouth; I was about to give myself a serious chat.  

The warning comes from years of flippant, definitive stances I’ve taken, only to wind up on the reverse and proven, not necessarily wrong, but certainly had my extreme view adjusted.  It’s like in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (1989), where everything Dr Indiana Jones (Indy) tells the students about archaeology, later, literally comes to pass.    

So forget any ideas you've got about lost cities, exotic travel, and digging up the world. You do not follow maps to buried treasure and "X" never, ever, marks the spot.

Thinking on Automatic Responses

Likewise, I thought about Tarot readers and automatic responses about “essential services” after the meeting.  Here go the questions: “why would she think the classification could apply to her?”, “why do people really go to tarot readers?”, “what can a tarot reader offer in times like the pandemic?”.   My friend Pauline succinctly told me once she simply needed to talk it out, and the cards seemed to be a conduit for me to get the information from her.  

So, then I played a scenario over in my head of a woman (Sandy, for story purposes) whose husband had lost his job to COVID, they were okay for the moment, but Sandy was worried about the future.  Now psychologists don’t deal with speculation on the future – that’s for stockbrokers, crypto experts, weather personnel and psychics.

On an inner level, Sandy knows the future is mercurial.  Having the ability to talk about her worries to someone who might find that light at the end of the tunnel is worth it to her.

So, tarot readers provide minor stress relief and hope amidst dark times.  If Sandy were lucky to find a talented reader, they might even get assistance.  For instance, a tarot reader had once intuited a phone number for the Blue Mountains Meditation Retreat to help me manage my anger. 

Because life is cyclical in waves of happiness and sadness, the tarot reader might stop at a lighter point.  There’s always sunshine after rain, right?  Providing an outlet to someone in times of distress equals mental well-being.  In some respects, you could view a Tarot reader as an essential service.  There, now I’ve thought about it. 

Today's Cards

Essential

The Cards - Essential Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

The Lovers is in the Now influenced by Aloneness, which I read as a union of the self.  The harmonious working together to foster outcomes bigger than the sum of the two parts.   

Ripeness is a state of readiness and reflects today’s Goal.  I’m sensing that the Yin cycle (refer to Day 193) is beginning to hit its awareness as dormant words, like “tarot”, are returning without my prompting.  For example, in the pre-meeting chat.

Participation is in the Recent Past and provides the foundation for The Lovers to continue a similar vibe.  Participation is collaboration, and The Lovers is the union of participation between two people instead of a small group; that would be the meeting.

Totality in the Distant Past probably reminds me of old bad habits like making unthinking or poorly thought-out remarks.

Future Energy is Integration, and you can see the progression from the Recent Past.  It moves from the separate individuals participating in an activity to The Lovers, a union of energy, which brings about Integration. In other words, the answer isn’t as cut and dry as we’d like it to be but by integrating the idea of essential with non-essential, we take the elements of the truth in both and work with the result.

Base

My Feelings are like those of The Master when it comes to this topic.  People believe The Master sits comfortably with his emotions, looking at issues neutrally, neither with passion nor dispassion.

Others’ Views is that I’m Experiencing life and potentially growth in this case.

Hopes & Fears has Guilt.  Did you know the last time Guilt made an appearance was 53 days ago?  Anyway, I fear that I may have given others the wrong impression of my views on the topic.  I hope in future; Guilt doesn’t happen by avoiding unthinking remarks.

Silence is the Outcome, suggesting perhaps that the Guilt stops and Silence with inner peace appears.  If we’re talking about the remark and my thoughts on it, it would seem I will be content with my conclusion.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 214

Day 208 – From the Cancellation of NZ – Opportunity!

Tuesday, 27 July 2021

Day 209. Opportunity. Layout In order of appearance: Intensity, Breakthrough, Transformation, Fighting, Maturity, Thunderbolt, Awareness, Letting Go, Friendliness, Sorrow. Washing Machine

Opportunity Context

It’s Official.  The New Zealand ski trip has had the flights cancelled by the airline.  On Day 204, I was devastated by the cancellation news; today’s confirmation provided an opportunity.  I’ve wanted to visit the Northern Territory,  for some time, and the Larapinta Trail Walking Tour seemed like my perfect substitute vacation.  It was quite the discovery to realise my husband saw things differently.

In my mid to late twenties, I travelled extensively on adventure holidays.  These vacations usually gave me the longest time away in another country and got me closer to the non-touristy culture in the safest way possible.  

The long trips were because the countries had a superexchange rate against the Australian dollar; plus, you were camping and providing transport (your own feet and legs). Why wouldn’t you take the opportunity to stay longer and see more?  Okay, there were other modes of travel, like camels across the desert, train trips, elephant safaris, white water rafting down rivers, bicycles, and trucks like I mentioned on Day 188.  But there were also treks.

TV series like, Naked and Afraid, Eco-Challenge Fiji, Long Way Round, Amazing Race, Travel Guides Australia/ New Zealand, and Travel Around the World, only fuel my desire to relive past elements to experience somewhere new.  When New Zealand’s cancellation confirmation came through, this was my opportunity. 

Nothing but Positives

All I could see were benefits.  The timing, I thought, was serendipitous since it was inside the exact dates we had booked for New Zealand.  The exercise level was introductory to moderate, and the cost initially appeared the same.  And, I would be exercising my ankle regularly, and there would be no hampering reason or ready-made excuse of, “I don’t feel like it” to avoid it. 

Getting away from junk food and eating healthy for a week would be a bonus.  It would be an excellent way to detox and lose weight with a bit of luck.  The detox wouldn’t just apply to the physical it would provide a mental detox as well. 

We would learn more about the indigenous population, get back to nature, the weather would be good, read or listen to a couple of good books, and hopefully sleep under the stars.  The best part would be no cooking, carrying bags (except a day pack) and arriving at a new destination with everything ready to go – camping posh-like.

An Alternative View

Except, and it’s a big EXCEPT, my husband didn’t see the cancellation and opportunity in the same way.  The flames of enthusiasm got tested.  Something so natural to me was something alien to my husband.  

It took me by surprise that our ideas of vacations varied so much.  Thrown, how had we gotten this far in the relationship to realise our vacations styles were at odds with each other?  Sure, assumptions happened when underdeveloped countries we travelled to for SCUBA trips hadn’t phased him.   Okay, it’s gold class roughing it. 

The big awakening was when I realised my husband’s travel experiences, before me, all had an air of sophistication.  That’s okay; there have been those in my past too.  However, I forget that not everyone wants to have the holidays I have.  While the type of trip I went on wasn’t too radical or unusual, there are fewer travellers on this slightly riskier trail – even the gold class version.     

But when I was young, I had to choose where to spend my money, and to my youthful mind, length of travel was more important than “quality” of travel.  Hope that makes sense.   Although I’d argue the quality I received was equal to any of the more sophisticated travel adventures.   

Reality versus Fantasy

After a long chat around the fact, my go-to holiday might just be an “ideal but never really happen to my holiday” from my husband’s perspective.  My husband confirmed the trip style had thrown him, as did my willingness to just jump at the opportunity without any preparation.   

However, it was the first time he’d had to consider the option.  He’d decided it wasn’t something he was against doing or trying, but his concern was around my physical fitness.

Was I really ready for this trip with the state of my ankle?  If I were honest with myself and try to be, I would need another month’s preparation before going on the trek.  The extra month would allow us the opportunity to practise and increase our fitness levels and be confident we weren’t embarking on a trip beyond our skill level.  Sadly, we don’t have the extra month or the opportunity to push it out.  Bugger!  (Day 188)

Today's Cards

Opportunity. Day 208. Tabled list: order of appearance. The Fool, Suppression, Transformation, Inner Voice, Change, Guidance, Breakthrough, Adventure, Celebration, Existence. Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Opportunity Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

The Fool is Now making plans without looking at the potential impact; he is loftily dreaming of a “red centre” escape. 😁  Suppression impacts The Fool’s enthusiasm from taking full flight.

I am pursuing my Goal of Transformation, where I change the inactive state of current existence and the cancelled active holiday to another that included being active.

This Change happened in the Recent Past when the New Zealand trip got cancelled.  Further, in the Distant Past, it was about listening to my Inner Voice for these types of trips.  The good thing is the apparent misalignment of trip styles came out into the open.

It also looks like the Change (Recent Past = cancellation of the trip) triggered the Transformation (Goal = new journey). 

Guidance is the Future Energy, suggesting help for another vacation from Renae, the fantastic travel agent, could be on the cards 😉.

Base

My Feelings about the whole interaction today is one of Breakthrough.  Had the situation not arisen, my husband and I may not have talked about my longing for the occasional walkabout travel.

Others’ Views is Adventure.  Today, more than usual, the image strikes me as a vulnerable child heading off on an Adventure.  It may very well be how I was perceived today.

The Hopes & Fears spot has the Celebration card.  Celebration is what my emotions did today.  The excitement is hope for a familiar but new Adventure and the fear that it won’t be possible or conducive to uptake.  Or simply reality setting in that my ankle’s healing hasn’t been put to any rigorous testing to know whether it could hold up on a sustained walking trip in central Australia. 

Existence is in the Outcome position and captures that interconnectedness between yourself and time, realising that no one in the world can be you, past, present, or future.  It initially caused the disparity in views but talking about it when thrown and rallying from the disconnect.  Luckily, there is also no one else like my husband, and between us, we could talk it out. 

So, I don’t know what opportunity will present itself or if we will ever go on my kind of walking vacation – it might end up being just me, but we’ll see.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Links

Tarot Day Layouts
Travel Guides Australia (TV Series) My notions were inspired n part by Season 1, Episode 5, “Top End” and Season 4, Episode 2, “Red Centre”)

End Day 208

Day 193 – Yin-Yang 20-year Cycle Hypothesis

Monday, 12 July 2021

Yin-yang. Day 193. In order of appearance.:Intensity, Slowing Down, Schizophrenia, The Master, Courage, Awareness, Exhaustion, Postponement, Comparison, Laziness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Yin-Yang Context

For many years I’ve talked about mental health and metaphysical ailments.  When I say mental health, I’m talking about meditation and mindfulness exercises.  A friend, Rick (not name), many years ago mentioned the world went into 20-year cycles of yin-yang.

So, what did Rick mean when he said yin-yang and 20-year cycles?  Imagine for a moment that yin and yang are characteristics – not hard since this is partly what the symbol is trying to represent.  You know, the dichotomies of natural forces, each with its unique attributes and the gentle transition between the two.

It’s much like day and night.  These are the most appropriate for Rick’s statement of bi-decade cycles.  Day and night have distinct characteristics; however, to transition from day to night, we need to pass through dusk.   Likewise, to move from night into the day, we need to pass through dawn.  

For anyone, who has done an all-nighter or woken before dawn to see to sunrise, there’s not an exact “aha” moment to point to when the sky is bright, even if you sense and can see the gentle graduation of light. 

Of course, there’s sunrise and sunset to mark specific times when the sun crosses the horizon in respective locations.  The yin-yang cycles work in much the same way with the years. 

Rick mentioned his observations were that the even decades were typically the yin peaks amid yang dominance.  For instance, the ’60s had the Vietnam war; war is a very yang energy, but at its peak was the hippie movement, which he considered very yin.  

The Dusk & Dawn of Yin-Yang

In the dusk and dawn analogy, the peak of hippie and war was midnight and midday (figuratively speaking) of the 20-year yang cycle.  He likened these moment years and the odd decades were like the yang’s turn – but not exactly.  The peaks got offset by a couple of years from the turn of the decade, 1963 (maybe) to Rick’s mind.  

It might be observing the 20-year cycles at the height of their popularity, works like this: the 60s had eccentric hippies, peace, and beans, leading to the 70s of finally ending the Vietnamese war. 

The 80s were about flamboyance, which led to a financial market recession, and there were arguably many psychic fairs and self-help gurus about – at least, around where I lived.  Following the 80s, exuberance was the lean, mean 90s, self-help morphed into management and leadership books, and the home computer age was born. 

In the naughties (the 00s), we were back to healthy eating and living and recreational drug used seemed to be more a hot topic, and by the mid-10s travel, fitness was back but in a more rounded approach.  Now we hit the 2020’s, and subtle signs indicate we’re heading back into a yin cycle, prompted in no small way by COVID-19 to look at our mental health and looking at our inner selves.

Supporting Rick's Hypothesis

To support Rick’s observations, I searched the Internet and came up empty-handed.  There is nothing but fortune-telling games and the sexagenary (60-year Chinese Astrology year cycles).  The Chinese Astrology uses 60-year cycles, and within these, there are 20-year branches but nothing to hint at Rick’s hypothesis.  

Yin-Yang for Today

So, what has this got to do with my day?  Lately, I’ve been talking about tarot, mental health, mindfulness, meditation, and intuition more than I have in a long time.  All that self-reflection and self-help and analysis ring true for a while, then people get sick of hearing about it, and it goes off the boil. 

It’s not because they don’t like the topic or eschew it – although there are some; it’s like the market for this type of knowledge reaches a tipping point.  And as suddenly as it seemed to have arrived, it goes away.  Like after a sleep where you know you’ve dreamt but don’t quite remember how you got to sleep. 

People needed time to assimilate the new information, plus other more physical concerns began to take over.  Then that too reached its peak, and people sought something with more meaning and depth.  And the cycle starts again with a yawn. 

Like a person who wakes up but isn’t sure they want to talk to anyone just yet, but at some point, most likely after a cup of coffee, talking happens.  Talking is almost an act of courage by this point, but once you get going, nothing can stop you!

I raise the yin-yang cycle because the aspect of my life, without prompting, is being discussed once again, which is what happened today at work.  The yin has subtly been reawakening, but we’re beginning to see its light over the horizon.

Today's Cards

Yin-yang. Day 193. In order of appearance.:Intensity, Slowing Down, Schizophrenia, The Master, Courage, Awareness, Exhaustion, Postponement, Comparison, Laziness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Yin-Yang Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

Intensity is in the Now influenced by Slowing Down.  The Goal of the day is SchizophreniaThe Master sits comfortably in the middle of the layout in the Distant Past position and has loaned his energy to the more Recent Past to give it Courage to pursue intensely.   From the Intensity of Now to the Future Energy of Awareness.

Briefly, Intensity is the energy behind rekindling an old flame, talking about some of the psychic moments of my past.  The topic arose after a “Slowing Down” period, where I caught up with a colleague, and the discussion came about naturally.

To talk or not to talk about having psychic moments was the question today (Schizophrenia), and to talk about those moments took Courage.  Later in the day, the Awareness of the yin cycle returning began to take hold.

Base

The current phase is Exhaustion.  My Feelings are that I’m exhausted from exerting myself without tapping into something more fun, something that will bring me back to enthusiasm.

Others’ Views are that I’m delaying (Postponement) doing what I love doing.  

Contrary to Others’ Views, my inner Hopes & Fears reflect I’m comparing myself with others (Comparison), or I fear I am coming up short.  My hope is the comparison shows me progressing favourably.

The Outcome shows Laziness, and this might just prove the Others’ Views right. In that, by postponing it, things I’ve worked hard to build might start crumbling or falling behind.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 193

Day 192 – Reverse Engineering Pitfall

Sunday, 11 July 2021

Pitfall. Day 192. In order of appearance.:Adventure, Traveling, The Rebel, Totality, The Creator, Letting Go, Rebirth, The Miser, Breakthrough, Ordinariness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Reverse engineer a decaying office chair; why not? I thought.  And the follow-up phrase uttered by many fools in the past, “how hard can it be?”.  Now that’s a pitfall

Pitfall Context

Today, I had a brain fart, and it was to reverse engineer a rapidly deteriorating leather office chair I use regularly.  Why not?  I thought.  And uttered by so many fools in the past, “how hard can it be?”.  My recovering of the cheap chair worked a treat and only took a weekend!

Indeed, I am and have been the fool to utter the words, “how hard can it be?”, right up there with the likes of Jeremy Clarkson (The Grand Tour).  Oh, what company to keep 🤔. 

Don’t misunderstand me; I wasn’t working under the false assumption the more complex chair would finish in a day.  The unpicking alone took forever, and I did pay close attention to the details to make it easier to put back together. 

However, one of the pitfalls of not being the developer is the inspiration that drove the design in the first place isn’t there.  Thus, making it more difficult to piece all the elements back together.

Despite my best attempts to remember how it stitched together when I get to piecing the fabric together, I’m scratching my head.  Something as simple as the back cover, and whether the broader part of the material should be wider at the top or bottom, got forgotten between the unpicking and resewing. 

At the end of the day, the chair’s back was unpicked.  I also managed to identify the fabric pieces for each section of the chair.  The replacement fabric wasn’t leather and needed interfacing to make it workable.  Nothing could progress until next weekend.

Pitfall Observations

By the way, “brain fart” is a word used colloquially in Australia on occasion when a person thinks they’ve had a great idea but, in the end, is a stinker of an idea.  At this stage, I don’t know if the idea is going to stink.  What I do know is there is sewing equipment all over the dining room awaiting use.

It’s funny how even though the blog today was about a chair, it could apply as a metaphor for life.  Sometimes, no matter how hard to try to make something old new or try to recreate a situation, there’s no getting it back.  It’s one of the pitfalls described by many wise persons as a moment we cling to that neglects the now.

Today's Cards

Pitfall. Day 192. In order of appearance.:Adventure, Traveling, The Rebel, Totality, The Creator, Letting Go, Rebirth, The Miser, Breakthrough, Ordinariness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Pitfall Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

The cards are showing a little Adventure influenced by Traveling.  The Goal is to be The Rebel in control of who we are and unconcerned with public opinion.  In this case, public opinion was the wise words of my husband.  Remember that’s the pitfall of a proper fool; it is also what gives you the Adventure.

The Creator is in the Recent Past moulding circumstances, probably when I thought it was a good idea to redo the chair instead of buying another one (it was an expensive chair!). 

Totality is in the Distant Past is likely to be the moment I undid the stitching.  The leather had deteriorated so much that little bits of sticky black leather flaked off during the undoing.

The little Adventure is the trip (Traveling) to the haberdashery store for the backing fabric to prevent the replacement fabric from fraying.  Hot on the heels of Adventure is Letting Go, whether this means Letting Go of the making the chair altogether due to lack of skill or simple the like-for-like attempt. 

My husband has already suggested just doing a sleeve instead of trying to recreate the original.  I’ve only just started, and depending on how easy this is to progress will determine the route to the finished product.   Sometimes, in life, you just have to step into the pit and fall – it can be the best way to learn

Base

My Feelings are of Rebirth, reawakening the excitement of the challenge. It’s strangely exciting to tackle something of this size and complexity for which I have minimal skills and a lot of over-enthusiastic gusto! 😁

Others’ Views of me is that I’m The Miser.  True, I am trying to save money, but the chair is old and falling apart, and a replacement one is expensive.  There is also the fun of giving the replacement a go.  If it doesn’t work, I’ve lost $20 in fabric and a couple of challenging weekends where the dining room is a mess.

Hopes & Fears are me hoping for a Breakthrough in discovering there’s an easy way to recover a chair.  On the flip side, I fear it will be more complex than initially anticipated, and it will beat me.

Finally, it’s the card of Ordinariness in the Outcome position.  Let’s face it, recovering a chair is exciting for the doer – en Moi – but is pretty ordinary.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 192

Day 190 – Recognising Personal Growth

Friday, 9 July, 2021

Personal Growth. Day 190. Tabled list: order of appearance. Turning In, Trust, Innocence, Playfulness, The Outsider, The Dream, Aloneness, Control, Ice-olation, Adventure. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Personal Growth Context

Recognising moments where you’ve changed from who you used to be, is an intriguing experience.  Most of the time, the shifts we make are so subtle you don’t notice they’ve happened until you look back on who you were and realise you’re different.

Some changes where you experience personal growth follow significant events like weddings, funerals or stressful situations.  You may not realise it at the time, but something has changed if you were to look back to how you even were pre-COVID.  Of course, you’re still the same person you’ve always been.  After all, it’s not like you can take a holiday from your shadow and come back and say “surprise!” did you miss me?  😲

The other thing is I wouldn’t want to look back ten years and discover nothing about me has changed – and I’m not talking physically.  I would hope, for myself, my tolerance of younger people has increased.  With my patience, I’d want compassion toward the more youthful me for making decisions that, in retrospect, were made with limited visibility and knowledge.

Being older allows you to see mistakes you might have made, and being older, you can see how the young might make the same mistake.  You, of course, try and warn or advise, which my younger self only paid limited attention to when someone older told me

Aiding Youth & Personal Growth

So, it’s simply about being there if they fall; it is the advantage of age; at least you know how to fix the mistakes, the person who ignored your advice made 🥱.  Personal growth also means you need to realise the world the next generation is in is different.  They might succeed where you failed.  Stuff which was new for you might be old hat to them, so make sure you also the good fellowfeel on hand if they succeed.  🎉

Personal growth happened today, or should I say I recognised a change in me when I reacted to an incident differently than in the past.  It was a pleasant surprise that my responses were more controlled, less “reaction”, and more balanced response.  Why don’t you recognise when that shift occurred until the event that needs the new you arises?

The incident, so fleeting, I didn’t note the incident because the shift in me was noticeable.  It reminded me not to pass judgement on decisions past because it doesn’t conform to today’s sensibilities.  It is both harsh and cruel. 

Today's Cards

Personal Growth. Day 190. Tabled list: order of appearance. Turning In, Trust, Innocence, Playfulness, The Outsider, The Dream, Aloneness, Control, Ice-olation, Adventure. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Personal Growth Analysis

Carryover Cards

Wow!  Eight cards carried over from yesterday, and I suspect it was late, and I didn’t shuffle the cards correctly, nor did I put the cards back individually like usual.  However, in the spirit of honesty, this is what came out, and I need to deal with the output.   The cards are notable in different positions, pointing to events changing and meaning something different, except for Turning In moving from Future Energy to Now, showing clear progression.

Turning In moved from Future Energy to the Now; Trust moved from Now to become an Influencer. Innocence moved from Distant Past to Goal

The Outsider moved from Others’ Views to Recent Past, where The Dream moved from Feelings to Future EnergyControl only moved one spot from Hopes & Fears to Others’ Views, Ice-olation moved from Outcome to Hopes & Fears, and Adventure was in Recent Past and is in the Outcome position.

Cross

Turning In in the Now shows how I’ve gone back to meditating over the past couple of days.  It was something on my mind.  It might be that noticing the personal growth resulted from being more aware of my actions due to mediation this morning.  Turning In and Trust are symbiotic if this is the case.  Trust what I am feeling is correct.

Innocence as Goal is what meditation is all about, and the card depicts a wise older man conversing with a grasshopper.  From what I have indicated of my personal goals, this card sits nicely as a Goal.

Playfulness dances in the Distant Past and contributes to the Goal, desire to turn inward and in being inwardly happy and make you feel like The Outsider, which is in the Recent Past.

Alas, all the positive energy generated can lead me to believe that I will continue to meditate and grow readily.  Hence The Dream appears in Future Energy to remind me romantic notions can burst.

Base

My Feelings echo the Recent Past of The Outsider in the card of Aloneness.  Aloneness varies slightly from The Outsider in Turning In is actively seeking Aloneness, and the other is along the line of fear of missing out (FOMO).

Others’ Views is I like to be in Control.  Moving from the Hopes & Fears position yesterday, it seems I’m not hiding it very well if my goal was not to display fear my fear. 🙈.

On an inner level, my Hopes & Fears are Ice-olationIce-olation in today’s reading follows the undercurrent of being on one’s own; the hope then is wanting to be alone and continue to turn in, or the fear is not to be left out or feel like The Outsider.

The final card on personal growth is Adventure in the Outcome spot.   Personal growth certainly is an Adventure, and it looks like the Adventure will continue.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Fellowfeel, from Susie Dent‘s Twitter Feed, 16 Century – to share in the feelings of others; to have compassion. To share the pain of others, 13 March 2021
End Day 190

Day 188 – Flies, Bugs, & Australian Slang

Wednesday, 7 July 2021

Bugs. Day 188. In order of appearance. Letting Go, New Vision, Suppression, Playfulness, Control, Rebirth, Trust, Creativity, Flowering, Intensity

Bugs Context

Today, I toy with how immigrants and bugs in Australia have transmuted a word initially thought of as rude into something less insidious.

Many, many years ago, when I was about 22 and an office secretary, I worked beneath the Sydney Harbour Bridge for a company in an office on the fourth floor.  It was summer, it was hot, and the lift (elevator) was out of order.  

One of my jobs was to put a note on the lift doors on the ground floor to let staff know they would need to use the stairs.  The business I worked for received many courier deliveries, and it was expecting the stationery order. 

The sign I put up said in large print, “Welcome to work!  The lift is out of order, so you’ll need to use the stairs.”  In small print, I added, and I intended to let couriers know we understood their plight, “If it will make you feel better, be glad you’re not the poor bugger who has to make deliveries to us.”.  

When the admin head, Marge, arrived and saw the note, she kindly asked me to reword it to exclude the word bugger.  A little shocked to be asked to remove, to my mind, a harmless and frequently used term.  After all, a TV ad had a dog use it (the word forced the ad’s removal).  Marge explained the technical meaning, and it mortified me because it certainly wasn’t my intention to use it like that!

Over the years, I’ve often thought about that incident when the word arose in everyday conversation by others.  Again, if I mentioned to them what it meant – they too were horrified.  This disconnect between what we thought we were saying to what we were meaning kept my thoughts going. 

The Dawning of Bugs

It wasn’t until my trip through southeast Africa that I stumbled across how Australians might interpret the word.  On the Africa trip were a couple of Danes.  By the way, Danes or Scandinavians always seem to be my trips.   As we headed off for the day, the truck had a flat tyre in the early morning.  One of the Dane’s made an innocent comment that it was the first “punctuation” we’d had on the trip. 

The native English speakers, looking at the flat tyre, got the meaning and context of the word ‘punctuation’.  It was also the incorrect word.  It made sense even if it wasn’t the word puncture.  However, if the Dane’s used punctuation out of context to describe a flat tyre, it might leave the recipient scratching their head.

Africa, like Australia, is not without its flies, bugs or bees.  Once we fixed the puncture, we all assumed our seats; a couple of us took a turn in the ‘dog box’ and drove until lunch.  After lunch, I sat in the back of the truck, and unluckily for the Danes, they chose the dog box.  Don’t get me wrong, the dog box is fantastic, but it was unlucky because the truck had driven through a swarm of bees, and they got stung.  To this, one of the Dane’s commented they didn’t like being ‘buggered’, meaning having been attacked by bugs.  Everyone laughed, but for me, the penny dropped as to how Australians might have adopted the term.

Image from Exodus Expeditions

Adoption of Bugger for Bugs

Australians are used to a variety of insects, in particular flies.  Flies come in all sorts of types; according to the CSIRO, about 400 species of the March fly exist in Australia!  They’re also known as horse flies.  Not to mention the blue house fly or bluebottle fly.  A phrase you might hear uttered by an Australian is, “I was running around like a blue house fly” (which translates to fast and all over the place).

Australia is also home to immigrants who aren’t from English speaking backgrounds, and the use of the word ‘bugger’ and bugs are a logical association.   Hence, I think this is how it became part of the Australian vernacular. 

It also explains why I didn’t find it offensive, having parents with strong European accents who used the word all the time.  Possibly from some of the outback trips, we’d taken as children. 

The majority of Australians wouldn’t know why they use it and would be upset if you mentioned its source word.  You see, it seems like a made-up word, and it makes sense in Australia to apply it to the constant onslaught of pesky critters.

Bugger, its Forms, and Possible Uses

Following are derivatives of the word bugger and how I think their origins began with bugs or flies:

Buggered off – slang short for ‘couldn’t be bothered giving it any attention, so just kept moving’.  Every time someone does an Australian salute – a quick wave of the hand to shoo flies – and the flies leave you alone, the flies have “buggered off”.  If you go somewhere and don’t care for the place and leave, you’ve buggered off. 

Buggered equals exhausted.  It applies when a person in Australia says they’re “buggered”.   Simply it means, they’re “exhausted from fighting”, and what’s unsaid, “off flies, insects or pests.  If you come home from a long day at work, or you’ve been as busy as a blue house fly, you’d be correct in saying you were buggered.  It has become synonymous with exhaustion.

Bugger!  Massive frustration, and again, if you apply it to the number of flies or bugs around.  The word is an accurate reflection of the mounting frustration that finally cracks your self-control.

If something’s a bugger, it’s because it’s annoying, like a fly constantly buzzing around you.  A phrase like, “well, that’s a bugger, isn’t it” translates to “well that’s annoying, isn’t it”.

Oh, bugger!  Like “oh, shit!” are sometimes expressed instead of the “shit” word to avoid swearing.  This word replacement also makes sense if you’re referring to flies that fly about, and or you happen to swallow a fly! 

So, getting back to my story with Marge and how I referred to the delivery drivers and the couriers as “poor buggers”.  Quite simply, their job, by nature and necessity, is to interrupt your daily flow, which is annoying.  So, they are people who “bug” you like bugs do, aka annoy you.

Bugs with Cuteness

Sometimes you could hear bugger used with gruff affection, like, “he’s a cute little bugger”, or “come here you rascally bugger”, or “he’s a cheeky bugger”.  Usually, the gruff affectionate form will have another adjective added before it to show its light-hearted intent. 

When applying this light-hearted version, it could mean that the person is annoying and endearing simultaneously.  Like toward your child, who you have caught being mischievous with their hand in the cookie jar.  It’s important to listen for the tone of voice.

The phrase “come here, you bugger” could work on many levels, from the angry to the affectionate.  However, there’s always a slight insinuation of annoying.  For instance, saying Neil’s a smart bugger could mean someone clever, but his cleverness can be annoying, or he’s both intelligent, and he’s annoying. 

Look at that; I’ve come to the end of the page – bugger!

Today's Cards

Bugs. Day 188. Tabled list: order of appearance. Letting Go, New Vision, Suppression, Playfulness, Control, Rebirth, Trust, Creativity, Flowering, Intensity. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Only one card carried over from yesterday; Suppression, and it stayed in the Goal position.

Cross

Playfulness is in the Distant Past, and it a point to which I like to return, or should I say awaken anew.  In the more Recent Past, I’ve felt that I’m just going through the motions at work (Control).

The Control has felt necessary if I’m to suppress, and Suppression has been the Goal for two days, where I’m finding my sense of fun.  Work isn’t horrible; the people are “nice”; it’s just not fun or playful.

Today it’s me in the process of Letting Go of emotions and the Stress from yesterday.  New Vision influenced today’s playful interpretation of the word ‘bugger’.

By Letting Go of stress and, to some extent, control over the environment, a Rebirth of Playfulness can occur.

Base

My Feelings on Letting Go is that I need to simply Trust.  The card’s image is a person diving off an invisible diving board into an open sky; Trust is Letting Go!

Others’ Views is that I’m using Creativity or that I’m creative.  As I’ve mentioned on a couple of occasions, knowing how others perceive you when you’re not engaging with them is difficult; it’s tricky to read your cards because you’re not necessarily objective.

Hopes & Fears has the card of FloweringFlowering is about being at home with yourself, your sex.  I hope I can embrace Letting Go but fear it’s going to be challenging to do so.

Finally, it’s Intensity in the Outcome position.  Intensity is like a bushfire, wild and multi-directional, which is what Letting Go might do according to the cards.

Well, we come to the end of the day’s with bugs and bugger forming a peculiar relationship which strangely makes sense.   Now, I appreciate this is probably not how the word bugs transmuted into bugger, but it was a fun exercise to see how applicable I could make it.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 188

Day 184 – The Mesmerising Saxophone

Saturday, 3 July 2021

Saxophone. Day 184. In order of appearance.:The Master, Sorrow, Mind, Beyond Illusion, Existence, Harmony, The Creator, Fighting, The Rebel, Flowering. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Saxophone Context

My husband and I like to watch YouTube reactionists.  These YouTube clips are of people recording themselves reacting to movies or TV shows.  The reactors provide their thoughts and or critiques of the film or song.  Three of the reactors all mistook the sound of the saxophone in Lethal Weapon as “sexy”.  I think the sax’s mesmerising quality has a sexy connotation but is not solely so.

Okay, I admit when the saxophone sounded, it was to show how Murtagh’s daughter, Rianne, enters dressed to go out, and the sexy music plays.  It’s another moment in the movie when Roger realises his daughter is no longer his little girl.  It’s Martin reaction to Rianne that prompts the realisation.

In addition to mesmerising, the saxophone has a sultry, longing sound drawing the listener’s heart into a void of yearning, which is more than just sex.  Of course, sensuality is often associated with sex but is not sex; it can form a part but not always.  It was also the magical instrument of the 80s for me, although it existed obviously before then. 

Bob Seger’s song Turn the Page has the saxophone, and it’s challenging to find “sexy” although there is sensuality.  The saxophone conveys the singer’s loneliness on the road.  It harks of warmth, longing, and remembrance of home, like squeezing the last bit of water out of a sponge.

Today's Cards

Saxophone. Day 184. In order of appearance.:The Master, Sorrow, Mind, Beyond Illusion, Existence, Harmony, The Creator, Fighting, The Rebel, Flowering. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Saxophone Analysis

Carryover Cards

Only one card carried over from yesterday; Harmony moves from Outcome to Future Energy.

Cross

Today’s Now has The MasterThe Master, like Gautama Buddha accompanied by Ananda weeping over the souls, with Sorrow, who haven’t reached enlightenment because they are too occupied in their Mind.   I’d like to say it could be as simple as the cards telling that story of Buddha; alas, it is not.  My cards, my day.

To look at my day’s main thought against the cards, I’m comfortable in my belief (The Master) about the mesmerising quality of the saxophone.  There is sufficient evidence to support me.  What makes me sad (Sorrow) is how the saxophone seems to have become stereotyped (in the Mind).

In the Distant Past, the saxophone would transport you from one state of being to another, like the chrysalis from caterpillar to butterfly (Beyond Illusion).  In 1987’s, Lethal Weapon, Rianne’s transformation from a little girl to a young woman before her father’s eyes using Martin’s objective eye, using the saxophone to maximum effect on all its emotional levels.

The Recent Past shows the card of Existence which echoes The Master card for comfortableness and humility.

Harmony is listening to your heart and experiencing the connection between body, mind and spirit working together.  The Future Energy position is a continuation of The Master’s serenity and comfortableness within himself.

Base

My Feelings are I am The Creator of my destiny when it comes to saxophone listening.  If this position were the Immediate Future, it would be echoing The Master, Existence and Harmony

Almost in complete contradiction to how I’m feeling, Others’ Views of me is that I’m a little touchy or overly sensitive in the card of Fighting.

For Hopes & Fears, the card of The Rebel hopes to continue the current state of being and knows (fears) it’s changing.

The Outcome position has Flowering; lo and behold, it’s a woman comfortable in her sexuality and sensuality and emanates a sense of assurance in who she is – bring it on!

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 184

Day 181 – When Something’s Improved Away

Wednesday, 30 June 2021

Improved Away. Day 181. order of appearance. Projections, Compromise, Healing, Harmony, Moment to Moment, Stress, New Vision, The Creator, Receptivity, The Burden. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Improved Away Context

In a world where IT is constantly evolving, it’s frustrating when a feature you love is “improved away”.  The phrase, I think, was coined in our office to apply to circumstances when an application or product is updated and a helpful feature removed as part of the improvement.

Today, I discovered one of the spreadsheet programs improved away a template I loved.   If memory serves correctly, there was an expense planning format.  The spreadsheet worked differently from a budget.  A budget takes an income and breaks it up into expected costs; its associated report bundles the results into categories.

Once you suspect a favourite or frequently used item has been moved, merged, removed, or bundled with some other things, you might spend some time looking to get the feature back.  Your search engine gets a workout as you seek a solution to the problem the improved away created.

Indeed, removing something from someone that they have become used to is incredibly difficult.  There’s a surprising kind of stress associated with slight separation or loss.  And that’s not just in the IT world, although separating us from our mobile phones has the potential to form into a full-blown phobia or nomophobia (netdoctor).  Try to take anything away that has been beneficial to someone, and you’ll get a fight.  Have you tried taking candy from a toddler – note, not baby, that’s the easy one; now, a toddler is on an entirely different level.

As we head into day one of another three-day lockdown and speak of trying to remove something beneficial, I’m reminded some organisations implemented work from home strategies in response to COVID’s enforcement.  The main reason for this pushback is that people have discovered the convenience of putting a load of washing on while attending a meeting.

Today's Cards

Improved Away. Day 181. order of appearance. Projections, Compromise, Healing, Harmony, Moment to Moment, Stress, New Vision, The Creator, Receptivity, The Burden. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Moment to Moment moved from Hopes & Fears to Recent Past, and New Vision stayed in the Feelings position.

Cross

Projections are in the Now influenced by Compromise.  What I forgot to mention above was today was my rostered day off.  However, it is also the end of the financial year in Australia, which equals timesheets, last-minute financial adjustments, and is an arbitrary date that motivates many business decisions.  For your information, the abbreviation we use for the End Of the Financial Year is EOFY. 

So, why did I raise the day off?  Well, timesheets needed completion, which I forgot to do yesterday, and I had scheduled a meeting I was going to attend.  As a Compromise, I decided to hand over my meeting notes to another invitee (ooh, Projections can me handing over something) and let them run the session, but I would log in to do my timesheets.

Healing is in the Goal position.  My Healing was going to take the form of catching up on work. 

In the Distant Past is Harmony, Day 179 had the Harmony card in the Future Energy spot and has moved from there into the Distant Past over two days?  On Day 179, I had been frustrated by events where I needed to justify someone else’s actions, unpleasant and left me on tenterhooks but happened in the meantime to create a time of Harmony.

Moment to Moment is in the Recent Past, continuing the harmonious feel and leading me into Projections, leading to an environment with a Future Energy of Stress.  The Stress is most likely me needing to have a difficult discussion with the person involved.

Base

New Vision has stayed the Feelings spot since yesterday.  Yesterday, New Vision was about getting to my source or core.  Today, New Vision relates to a new way of existing and opening up.  However, there’s the possibility I’m opening up because I’m projecting my feelings of trust onto someone else.

Others see me as The Creator, and The Creator in Osho describes it as being able to enrich his own life and those of others (p.48).  I like the idea.

Hopes & Fears has in the card of Receptivity.  Receptivity echoes the opening up of New Vision; there’s the fear of abuse for being trusting with any opening up.  The hope for the opening up is that trust will breed itself and others are able to confide and trust in your generosity.

The final outcome is The BurdenThe Burden in this case is the need for me to action something I’d rather not.   Maybe the discussion with the person I’d been justifying – we’ll see, it might be something completely different.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 181

Day 180 – Adapting to Another Lockdown

Tuesday, 29 June 2021

Another Lockdown. Day 180. order of appearance. The Source, The Outsider, Slowing Down, Intensity, Schizophrenia, Inner Voice, New Vision, No-thingness, Moment to Moment, Rebirth. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Another Lockdown Context

Thanks to COVID-19, Delta Strain, being detected – not – the Queensland’s Premier announced Queensland was heading into another lockdown, and again it will be for three days.  Luckily we had done the weekly shopping, and my husband didn’t ask for chicken strips like back on Day 88, 29 March 2021.  By the way, a state’s premier is about the equivalent of what a governor is in the USA.

Rather than racing to the supermarket to get groceries, I could work calmly.  This time the only thing we were short on was cat food.  So, I grabbed my mask and headed to the pet store rather than the supermarket.  It was nowhere near as busy as it had been last time.  There were also no opportunities to make ‘forever friends’. 

Some pet food had gone, but there also had a great special on Greenies (cat teeth cleaning treats) at a quarter of their usual price!  Special aside, I grabbed what was needed and headed for the door. 

What a change in pace visiting the pet store was when compared to the previous lockdown’s business.  Wow!  It’s almost a letdown.  Maybe I should have gone to the supermarket to pick up some things, just to make sure there was going to be another lockdown.  The normality of the pet store was just too … well, normal.

So, what else can I write about … cricket noises.  I looked around, twiddled thumbs and …  there … were … more … cricket noises.

Hmmm.  That’s it, then.  It’s over to the analysis.

Just kidding.  Because I knew my husband would need to work from home, in between meetings, I set up his office space.  Before you begin thinking “how sweet”, it wasn’t sweetness; it was so I didn’t lose the way I operate 😏.

Today's Cards

Another Lockdown. Day 180. The Source, The Outsider, Slowing Down, Intensity, Schizophrenia, Inner Voice, New Vision, No-thingness, Moment to Moment, Rebirth

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

The Source is in the Now influenced by The Outsider.  Oh yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about where my “fear of missing out”, FOMO, might come from.  These two cards perfectly demonstrate this activity.  The Source is my makeup; where inside me is this stupid trigger for inclusion?   How deep does it run?  And how do I get rid of it?  All questions asked by someone who feels like The Outsider, except maybe the last one. 

Slowing Down is in the Goal position, and with the lockdown, it looks like the Slowing Down is almost guaranteed. 

The Distant Past has Intensity, which I see as me getting involved with everything that interests me and thus overextending myself.  This getting engaged with everything has strong links to The Source, my source, and could be part of the foundations for the FOMO.

Schizophrenia in the Recent Past suggests a dilemma between wanting to be included in everything and appreciating its unfeasibility.  In reality, stupidly, if I stop to look at who and what some of those activities and people are, I’m not a good fit!  Argh!!! See, I recognise it.  Why doesn’t recognising it not give me the power to stop it?

Future Energy has Inner Voice, suggesting I will connect with my inner voice.

Base

New Vision is the card that reflects my Feelings about connecting to The Source.  The belief is in connecting to my core; I’ll better understand my emotions and their intensity.

The blank card of No-thingness reflects Others’ Views; this could mean other people do not have an opinion or do not see my struggle – good.  Although No-thingness can also suggest a potential, I cannot reconcile this definition to today’s layout.

The struggle between wanting and not wanting inclusion is draining, and I hope I can take each moment as it arrives, as suggested by the Moment to Moment card.  Moment to Moment is about being connected but not held hostage by emotion.  The corresponding fear is I’ll never be able to move past it because it is somehow linked intrinsically to a part of my makeup.

Rebirth in the Outcome position is a peculiar card following my fears 😢, but I think this indicates the topic of FOMO will be reborn.  I do like the image of the boy breaking away from the lion.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 180

Day 179 – Making Excuses for Others

Monday, 28 June 2021

Excuses. Day 179. order of appearance. Totality, Ice-olation, Completion, Existence, Consciousness, Harmony, Conditioning, Aloneness, Ripeness, Fighting. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Excuses Context

When it comes to people, I care about, and there are many, I get protective and sometimes feel I need to make excuses or justify why they do things the way they do.  Making those excuses are because not all the people I care about, care about social nuances.

Why does how someone behaves even matter?  It depends upon the situation, mainly in a social family and friend situation, it’s not an issue.  When you bring over a new friend, Mary (not name), for dinner, they’re shy and don’t offer to help with the dishes.  Later, once your friend has gone home, you need to justify why they didn’t.  By the way, this isn’t what happened today but something similar from my point of view.

In the example of not doing the dishes, when I went to Mary’s place for dinner, and I got up to do the words, they growled at me for even insinuating to do them.  I was their guest, and it wasn’t right for the guest to do the dishes. Justifying Mary’s actions to my family as her being polite by not offering got a slew of mockery.

This kind of justification constantly brings forward an internal battle, and it depresses me.  You try so hard to defend sometimes the indefensible, that it is exhausting.  In the past, there have been one or two “boyfriends” where I’ve felt I had to justify their actions or inaction to others I love.  To quote Kamal, a singer in the 70’s (?) “why are people so unkind?”.  The question is certainly something many people have pondered. 

Today's Cards

Excuses. Day 179. order of appearance. Totality, Ice-olation, Completion, Existence, Consciousness, Harmony, Conditioning, Aloneness, Ripeness, Fighting. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Excuses Analysis

Carryover Cards

Only one card carried over from yesterday; Conditioning moved from Others’ Views to Feelings.

Cross Excuses

Totality is in the Now influenced by Ice-olation.  Totality being the commitment, I throw myself into protecting Mary with excuses and Ice-olation in not knowing 100% whether I should be “a” defending her or “b” having a quiet talk to her about it”.

My Goal was Completion; I just want to end the justification cycle but don’t know how to change the situation.

In the Distant Past, I have been at ease with my Existence and connection to the world.  More recently (Recent Past), Consciousness has crept in, and I’ve realised why making excuses is draining.  I’m not true to myself.

Future Energy suggests a way of working out the impossible by having the Harmony card.

Base

Conditioning needs to break if my Feelings on today’s situation are correct.  I do agree.

Others view me as being alone (Aloneness), in my view, maybe?

In the Hopes & Fears position, Ripeness says I am ready to wish (hope) I could move on from worrying about what others think.  At the same time, I fear not worrying (fear) about what others believe will lead to a breakdown of intolerance.

Finally, Fighting is in the Outcome position and is my tenterhooks warning card to tell me to be extra careful when dealing with people, as I might be on the tired side and say something I might regret.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 179

Day 177 – Gifts that Come at a Cost

Saturday, 26 June 2021

Gifts. Day 177. In order of appearance.:Traveling, Turning In, Experiencing, Guidance, Understanding, Inner Voice, Exhaustion, Change, Conditioning, Creativity. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

Gifts Context

A spontaneous trip to the Tweed Coast has me receiving gifts, a relatively new laptop.  After the first four hours of it being mine, I realised there was a cost to pay.

Gifts that Come at a Cost

When a friend gives you a gaming laptop they’re no longer using; it’s important to not just wipe user data but to reload the operating system.  Trust me, not doing the wipe can cause you pain.

The gift of the laptop was incredibly generous.  Okay, so I paid a small amount for it, but it would be worth it. Wouldn’t it?  This weekend we went to my bestie’s place.  Her husband is the one who has been helping me with cryptocurrency. 

Because I use many Apple products, it’s difficult for Stew to help me navigate around the screen and environment, even if he had visual access to my machine.  His old laptop became my new laptop.  This new laptop was going to make my life easier.   Stew was going to help set up everything and be ready when I went home.

Setting up was anticipated to take a long time because applications needed installation and new links established.  When it comes to technology, you get used to a level of responsiveness and expect the same responsiveness everywhere.  If the responsiveness isn’t delivering, you can become impatient.  

There comes the point where you are mockingly banging your head on the keyboard because of the PCs slowness.  You can literally make a cup of tea/ coffee between clicks on the screen.  I am not kidding!  Argh!!!  Because it was a gift, I didn’t want to bag/ rag on the computer’s slowness too much, and certainly not in anything but a joking tone.

There’s also an additional level of expectation if you’re the gift giver that the gift you give will function as well as it always had for you.  When it’s not performing as expected, you’re a little embarrassed.  Then between gift giver and receiver, exhausted and tired, the tension can build.

Realising the Gift is Broken

Even the most optimistic soul needs to know when to call it a day.  There was a little bit of tension, but neither one of us wanted to upset the other.  After all, we respected each other enough to feel the moment and then let it go.  

Late that night, Stew suspected his error.  Realising you’ve made an error in not reinstalling the operating system has just caused a delay.  Of course, it’s an older laptop, so it might also have processing issues. 

Luckily for me, Stew had a second spare laptop!  Wow!  Overnight Stew set to give the new old machine to do a complete wipe and reset.  You know the saying, if at first, you don’t succeed, try, try and try again and then quit – there’s no point making a fool of yourself!

What impressed me was that we did curb our tension; I suspect that we both realised it’s late and the computer was the cause of frustration.  Not getting upset by it, just impatience; I feel it helped us both.

Hopefully, things will look better in the morning.  🥱

Today's Cards

Gifts. Day 177. In order of appearance.:Traveling, Turning In, Experiencing, Guidance, Understanding, Inner Voice, Exhaustion, Change, Conditioning, Creativity. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Change moved from Future Energy to Others’ Views, and Conditioning moved from Distant Past to Hopes & Fears.

Cross gifts

Travelling in the Now describes the travel neatly to my friends’ place.  The journey was an impromptu excursion for the weekend.

Turning In is the Influence position.  When my friend called and said we should come down to get the laptop and do it this weekend because some of the cryptocurrency needed investing in a certain way – I went.

I like to think my decision wasn’t motivated this weekend by money.  But that’s probably a lie, I tell myself.  Just because I don’t think about money, all the time doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a hold on me.  This motivation made me reflect (Turning In) on my substance.

As it worked out, Goal wise I’m also motivated by Experiencing new and spontaneous activities.  An unplanned trip to the Tweed Coast was the best activity to tick that box.  It also provided an opportunity to confirm some advice I’d received in the Distant Past for Guidance on cryptocurrency.

Cryptocurrency is such a rapidly changing world.  Last time, Day 163, it was all about getting Panthers and Sharks.  This time it’s ditching the Panthers and buy more Sharks!  That would be great if I knew what it all meant.

With much heavy thinking and asking many stupid questions in the Recent Past, I gained a glimmer of Understanding.  Comprehension is what drove the travel.  Get it? “Drove” is what you do as part of travel. 

Now that I have Understanding the Future Energy, it tells me to listen to my Inner Voice on what to do next.

Base

My Feelings are of Exhaustion.  Before the impromptu travel, I was looking forward to catching up on writing articles and sleep.  I enjoy being with my friends, but there are times when taking a much needed time to recover from the week’s ravages is necessary.

Perhaps my questions stopped, or maybe I’d conveyed a level of knowledge when it came to the gift, but Others’ Views is that I have a Change afoot or I am changing.

Hopes & Fears were Conditioning in the Distant Past yesterday, but today steps in for hope and fearConditioning is about stepping away from the artificial ego. It’s the one to gets upset before you’ve had a chance to think about things.  I hope to not succumb to my fake alter ego and fear I don’t have enough control over my mind to shift old habits.

 Conditioning is also about training your mind to be more focused and more receptive.  To do this, you need to use your Creativity, which is the link to your intuition.

The final card is Creativity.  Creativity is required to piece together the new information into an accessible and logical format.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 177

Day 176 – Metaphysical Bladder Control

Friday, 25 June 2021

Metaphysical bladder control. Day 176. order of appearance. The Creator, Innocence, Beyond Illusion, Conditioning, Suppression, Change, Control, Existence, Rebirth, Participation. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Metaphysical Context

On Day 173, I wrote about incontinence and the woes of having the buttocks surrender to gravity.  Today, the thoughts are back, but I’ve decided to look at the metaphysical aspects.

Can Men get Pee-leak?

But first, I thought I wondered how men managed to have pee-leak.  The outlet is smaller than the primary one women have, and if women work at their PC muscles with pelvic floor exercises such as Kegel, it can prevent leakage.  So, do men leak as they get older?

I consulted an expert, my husband, being qualified by having the opposite to me.  He said simply, there’s nothing to control at the outflow point.  Ah, this makes sense.  However, doing a couple of browser searches revealed men could also use exercises like Kegel to control their bladder, too (Healthlinkbc).  Who’d a thunk it!

A Metaphysical Look at Pee-leak

You really do learn something new every day.  If I move away from the slightly depressing physical elements of pee-leak and look at the metaphysical, maybe things will pick up.  Looking at the mental patterning or conditioning might help to improve motivation and subsequently the physical aspects.  

My favourite go-to person for metaphysical advice on ailments is Louise L. Hay.  Specifically, The List says, “Incontinence is Emotional overflow.  Years of controlling the emotions” (p.200, You Can Heal Your Life).   Whereas, Annette Noontil says, “[i]ncontinence [is you feel] guilty of not being loyal to yourself to go after your goals, because you do not know how to obtain your goals or wants.  If old – Thinking that you are too old to go after new things” (p.67, The Body is the Barometer of the Soul).

So, not much help from Louise or Annette, just more hard work.  Stop controlling my emotions and be loyal to myself and pursue my goals – I thought this is what I was doing.  Oh, wait a minute, for me, it’s to continue doing what I’m doing.  I might just include those PC/ pelvic floor exercises as a backup.  Then I’m pursuing my goal of not wanting to smell like pee when I become older.  🧐 

Today's Cards

Metaphysical bladder control Day 176. order of appearance. The Creator, Innocence, Beyond Illusion, Conditioning, Suppression, Change, Control, Existence, Rebirth, Participation. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Only one card carried over from yesterday; Innocence moved from Goal to Influence.

Metaphysical Cross

I’m going to break with my usual format and begin in the Distant Past with Conditioning and, ooh, breaking with tradition.  The Conditioning card is about breaking away from the perception that this is how things get done.  

Although the cards laid in a particular order, the story’s telling doesn’t have to begin with the first card selected.  Sure, it helps if you’re reading for someone to start at the Now and thread your way back to the origins.  But this is me reading for myself, and sometimes trying a new perspective might enhance the experience. 

The other thing to remember is I’m breaking my Conditioning, not anybody else’s.  In light of today’s musings, my Distant Past would be too polite to ask about elimination areas of the body. 

However, when you want to break out of illusion and go Beyond Illusion, and Beyond Illusion is the first wing-flaps of a butterfly you need to create. Those initial wing-flaps are also a little tentative as I try out and voice the new questions.

Today in the Now is The Creator.  The Creator is the potter moulding clay; his influence is InnocenceInnocence is looking at things in a new light with a fresh perspective.  A new view is what I discovered about the metaphysical aspects of pee-leak.  I’m pleased with the information.

Recently (Recent Past), I’ve been suppressing (Suppression) my curiosity, not so much the interest but the vocalisation of thoughts.

The Creator is working to mould things in a new way, and the Future Energy spot shows the card of Change.

Base

Control is an intriguing card to show up in the Feelings position.  It works on a couple of levels, one being the purely physical aspect of disciplining myself to do the exercises required.  On the non-physical, Control can also limit spontaneity and appear dull and lifeless (Osho, p.94). 

Position eight is Others’ Views and holds the card of Existence, which is about being unique and humble.  It’s what our physicality makes us, isn’t it?

Hopes & Fears holds Rebirth. Here’s hoping that the Change is pleasant and doesn’t put me onto another learning circuit.  The last sentence also encompasses the fear which the hope is trying to avoid.

Finally, the Outcome card is Participation.  Perhaps, we can avoid the expectations that incontinence is an inevitable part of the ageing process if we participate in physical and metaphysical exercises.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 176

Day 175 – On Finishing Things

Thursday, 24 June 2021

Finishing Things. Day 175. Tabled list: order of appearance. Traveling, Ice-olation, Innocence, Past Lives, Politics, Turning In, Consciousness, Harmony, The Fool, Abundance. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Finishing Context

Liz’s comment on finishing things hits too close to home and triggers reflection asking whether I’ve moved on from similar past incidents.

Sometimes, you gotta ask yourself, “Have I changed?”   And on Day 175, I chat with a lady at work, Liz, who said that Leo’s don’t often end up finishing things.  Liz’s comment was in response to my lament over not keeping pace with the posts and how previously something similar had happened. 

My excuse for not finishing the previous attempt was at that time, I’d met my husband, and you know, getting entangled with a new love can be time-consuming 💗. So when I started the experiment the time before, I reasoned myself out of finishing it since it was an experiment for me, and no one else would care if I completed it.

I can’t speak for other Leos, but for me, at least, there’s a string of unfinished projects in my past.  But my husband, sister, mother, and friends also have a list of outstanding tasks.  Their star signs are Pisces, Taurus, Aries, Taureans, Virgos, Water and Air signs. 

That doesn’t mean I don’t finish things. But I get it.  It’s the constant generation of ideas and inventions that lead me from enthusiasm to enthusiasm, and as soon as it gets hard, it’s “honey, I’ve got an idea”.  Honey makes an inaudible sigh as he gets ready to firefight the next potentially bad idea.

Finishing Things

At work, I finalise processes, which I’m the only one who bothers to complete.  So moving away from the tail end and moving onto the next thing is easy. Take project management; for example, it requires a complete document or a document to articulate the state of the final project handover.  This completion document is difficult to write, especially when the next shiny project is being run-up backed by the authority of the CEO.  However, if there’s no one pushing for the document, it doesn’t get done, myself included.

At the end of a workshop writing the post-workshop review can help future seminars.  It’s something I’m particularly passionate about because it has helped me many times.  A group of facilitators can add to the central repository for post-event reviews, but only three have done so in the last four years.

Liz is intuitive and picked up I needed a kick in the pants rather than looking for an excuse to shut down the experiment – yet again.  However, I feel bad that she found it necessary to drag all Leos into the generic bag to convey the message. Shutting it down would only mean letting myself down and adding to more things to beat me up over.

It’s like when you’re trying to tell a specific person something, but to avoid singling them out, you take the opportunity to educate everyone.  It might have been something like that.

Justification for not Finishing Things

This talk of completing things right after saying I have a list of uncompleted tasks at home is simply me trying to be fair in my assessment of the statement used to judge all Leos and myself.  I’m not a fan of being boxed into the Leo box (or any star sign box) in this way, except the information wasn’t limiting.  The statement found a home; that’s why I’m justifying it, but its level worked without causing my hackles to go up.

There’s a friend in my past, Maddy, who I’d briefly reconnected with at a funeral.  Maddy was still as beautiful as before, but she’d somehow grown into her elegance.  Her poise and posture spoke to me at the funeral before recognising her.  Never one to be fat, but my memory of her was that she had been more hourglass-like instead of tall and slender – not anymore!  It turns out her love of yoga seemed to have changed her body shape.

At the funeral, my exercise included yoga, running and gym, and she replied, “you were always into that”.  Although not said in a nasty or bitchy way, I felt the judgement was like a stereotype of my past from which I hadn’t grown.  I automatically bristled because somehow, it made me feel like she was my mother and I was a naïve kid.

Then, shocked at me for bristling at a well-meaning comment, at the end of the day, made me mad at myself.  It’s the same trigger response Maddy had always managed to elicit in the 90s and again so many years later.  Maybe the comment showed just how much things hadn’t changed.   I felt terrible about my response.  We probably drifted apart because of the limiting statement, my answer to them, and my response.

General Statements that Make Me Arc Up

Ginger kitten arcing its back.

Now I’m not sure why the comment Liz made didn’t cause me to arc as much as Maddy’s remark had, but I’m hoping I’ve grown since Maddy and I caught up.  Following my advice in the FAQs, “what you hear is for you to hear; how you deal with what you hear is up to you”.  In this case, it reminds me everyone is different and different isn’t wrong; this statement applies to me and others.  By the way, to “arc up” or “arc” are Australian slang terms referring to how a cat arches its back when it’s had a fright.

General statements or stereotyping based on whatever mechanism, whether it be star signs, eye colour, shoe size, blood type, or a researched questionnaire, need to be interpreted with flexibility when it comes to people.   While a four-category bucket may seem incredibly limiting, it can also provide a lot more freedom – or can it?  That’s something to ponder another day.

Today's Cards

Finishing Things. Day 175. Tabled list: order of appearance. Traveling, Ice-olation, Innocence, Past Lives, Politics, Turning In, Consciousness, Harmony, The Fool, Abundance. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Politics moved from Now to Recent Past, and Abundance moved from Feelings to Outcome.

Cross

Travelling is in the Now influenced by Ice-olation.  The Goal card has Innocence, and Past Lives is, appropriately, in the Distant Past.   Politics flowed nicely from yesterday’s Now to today’s Recent Past. So today, I’m able to advise that Politics was me trying to be diplomatic when I heard Liz’s comment.   

I saw myself arc up but, while not fully taking some of the heat out of my response, I managed to siphon off some of the heat while logic caught up.  The comment has encouraged Turning In in Future Energy to assess the remark’s validity. 

Base

The Consciousness card in the Feelings position verifies the awareness of the time of the comment.

Interestingly, Others’ Views – in this case, Liz’s – indicates I could pull off the awareness and take some of the heat out of my response because Harmony appeared.  Phew!  See, this position is helpful to see if what you intended to happen was indeed interpreted that way.

The Fool trusts regardless of the fall; I fear that I’m fooling myself with the interpretation of the Harmony card, but without another barometer, I hope and trust, like The Fool, that everything is as it seems.

Finally, Abundance is in the Outcome position.  Abundance in this spot seems to indicate things are going to get moving again.  Indeed, here I am writing more freely, and I’ve finished for the day. 😉

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 126

Day 174 – Sibling Rivalry Between Countries

Wednesday, 23 June 2021

Sibling Rivalry. Day 174. layout: order of appearance. Politics, Integration, Creativity, Maturity, Patience, Comparison, Abundance, Participation, Clinging to the Past, Postponement. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Sibling Rivalry Context

Talking to Tabya about my New Zealand (NZ) ski trip was exciting – Day 170.  It became disturbing when sibling rivalry was worse than I thought.   Tabya mentioned she had lived in NZ.  My comments went along the lines of, “Wow!  What a fantastic experience to live in NZ!”.  Tabya agreed it was impressive and beautiful, and she had lived on the North Island.

The discussion took on a darker tone when Tabya mentioned New Zealanders don’t like Australians.  “Really?” was my response began, follow up with “it’s in that joking but seriously competitive way, right?”.  To which Tabya replied with “no.  It’s more like hatred.  Don’t get me wrong, New Zealanders love Australian money, but there’s an underlying resentment as well.”.    I was seriously dismayed.

Rivalry from the Beginning

Ever since the early days, New Zealanders and Australians have been kind of siblings.  Even the rivalry for who is the older could generate some debate.  For instance, the first European to land in Australia was Willem Janszoon in 1606.  He didn’t do much and left.   Dirk Hartog left after leaving a plate with his name on it in 1616.  William Dampier landed in Australia in 1688, documented some flora and fauna and left.  In 1769 James Cook landed, and Australia was born to the British motherland.

Abel Tasman landed in New Zealand in 1642, had a look around, didn’t get along with the Māori natives and left.  In 1770 James Cook landed and began negotiations with the British motherland.  New Zealand is the leaner and fitter sibling, while Australia is the larger and older other.  Since the first couple of visitors to Australian shores don’t really count and Abel Tasman’s visit to New Zealand is also a non-plus event, we’ll use Captain Cook‘s visit as the start point.  This way, I can say Australia is the older 😏. 

Rivalry to the Max!

So, you see, even about the landing dates it could get competitive.  When it comes to sports on the world stage, Australia punches above its weight. If that’s the case for Australia, then it’s even more impressive with the number of victories New Zealand has.  The sibling rivalry, I thought, was limited to sports. 

It was undoubtedly the case when a former boss of mine would receive phone calls from across the pond from his NZ counterpart, ribbing him about the poor performance Australia put up in the latest: cricket, rugby, netball, the under three crying marathons, chip-eating, eye-blinking, dog show, ant race or whatever contest you can think of was on between the two countries.  Likewise, my former boss would ring back when the reverse was true.   

Note, I’ve taken some creative liberties with the events to give you an idea of how competitive it could get between the two.  Nobody really wants to win the under three crying marathons!

The rivalry is well known; it’s even made it to Geography Now YouTube episodes; I can’t remember which one – so check out both Australia & New Zealand!

Sibling Rivalry Thoughts

This discussion made me think of sibling rivalry and what might make it happen.  In one of the self-help books, I’d read that it’s all about energy, or more accurately, getting it.  Getting attention manifests itself as attention-seeking.  The theory went if we get someone’s attention, we get their energy or “power”. 

The book went on to say how we needed to transition from the watchful attention our parents gave us as children to know how to obtain energy from the world around us. Getting power from beauty and existence as a whole; examples were from trees, plants, oceans, lakes, rivers, and animals were a transitionary stage from people to animals to nature. 

I understand this notion when it comes to sibling rivalry; if I want the attention of my mother and my sister does likewise, and the other gets that attention, one of us might feel like they’re missing out.  It’s where the FOMO (fear of missing out), jealousy, resentment come from and learning to become centred and mindful of when you seek validation reduces the dependence on other people’s attention.

An extension to seeking out energy from a different source other than your parents or friends is competition.  You compete to win.  Winning attracts attention which is synonymous with energy. 

Another side effect of a competition is it makes competitors seek out improvements. Each party understands that it needs to come against a worthy adversary for it to feel successful.  Without a worthy opponent, you can get lazy.  Maybe this is why Australia and New Zealand do so well?

Conclusion

Of course, when you want to remember what book this all comes from, the book’s name escapes you (me).   Maybe many books contained similar information, and I just smooshed it all together into my brain. 

I’m also not sure how sibling rivalry would work with countries.  Is it because Australia gets all the attention when eyes focus down-under because of its size and deadly animals when NZ is arguably proportionally just as accomplished without the fatal animals? 

Does this mean Canada is the NZ to America?  And is America the older sibling to Australia, who thinks they gave the middle finger to “mum” but is secretly still trying to win approval by showing how rich and happy they are to be living away from home?  Nah… just playfully speculating.

In any case, I’m hoping Tabya is wrong, and it’s only a select few who feel this way, and it’s not pervasive and entrenched into the psyche.  At the very least, I’m an Australian bringing in money 💰.

Today's Cards

Sibling Rivalry. Day 174. Tabled list: order of appearance. Politics, Integration, Creativity, Maturity, Patience, Comparison, Abundance, Participation, Clinging to the Past, Postponement. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

Cross

Politics is in the Now influenced by Integration.  The layout of these two cards makes sense to me.  Tabya’s comments took me aback and put a pinprick into a softened balloon (it doesn’t quite burst but begins to let the air out slowly). 

Politics was the mask I wore to show this hadn’t quite affected me, and I was buying time to sort out my thoughts as I worked on integrating this new piece of information into my view of NZ.  Hopefully, before my opinion deflated.

The Goal is Creativity.  Blending new information into a worldview requires Creativity on how best to make it fit without losing the affection I have for the relationship between Australia and NZ.

In the Distant Past is Maturity and in the Recent Past is Patience.  Being an adult means not succumbing to the emotions of what others have to say, even if you don’t like what it is they have said.  The trick is to acknowledge the feelings.  In the Distant Past, controlling my emotions at times like these is a lesson I’ve had to learn repeatedly, especially when I’m protective over something I believe.

Patience, I applied it to my circumstances.  One of the things I was thinking was I would need to wait and see for myself when I reached NZ.

Possibly, predictably Comparison is in the Future Energy position.  Thanks to the discussion, I will constantly watch anyone from NZ and compare them to what I’ve learned.  And as we know, comparisons are unhelpful, for it gains me nothing but some wariness.

Base

So, what are my Feelings toward Politics which I seem to have in Abundance?  Perhaps it’s the Maturity of knowing when not to react.  After all, Tabya thought she was helping me. 

Others’ Views has Participation.  I see this card as participating in travel and acknowledging the information in the conversation without buying or rejecting it.  In short, the jury’s out until I’ve visited.

Hopes & Fears has Clinging to the Past.  This card in this position makes sense to me because I’m clinging to the warm fuzzy feeling of NZ and Australia being mutually respectful sibling rivals, both being fiercely competitive, knowing it will drive ourselves and make others better.  It’s why I believe the two countries are so successful – we push each other – or so I hope.  Fear is “please don’t let it be otherwise”.

Finally, the Outcome is Postponement, which I’ve been doing on posting this blog as I try to remember the books from which my thoughts came.

 

(published ten days later and still couldn’t remember!)

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Geography Now, Australia (Friendzone) 

  3. Geography Now, New Zealand (Friendzone) 

End Day 126

Day 173 – All Work and No Play

Tuesday, 22 June 2021

Day 173. Tabled list: order of appearance. New Vision, The Burden, Letting Go, Ice-olation, The Miser, The Lovers, Thunderbolt, The Source, Adventure, Consciousness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

No Play Context

All work and no play sends my mind to the depressing thoughts of getting older and the squeamish topic of incontinence.  Eww…

Every now and again, I get into these moods where I feel my life is all work and no play.  I then live on the “edge” by not doing routine things, for which I pay for the result later.  It’s a form of self-sabotage.  The other thing I do is think about the ageing process, specifically, incontinence – which is the only word in my notebook against today’s date.

Not a pleasant subject, and some of what I might write might gross you out.  Suppose you’re keen to become disgusted read on.  Otherwise, I recommend catching up on another post 🤧.

The Wayward Thoughts of No Play

Presumably, this note is not referring to the amount of dribble you occasionally hear in meetings.  Don’t get me wrong; I love dribble 😃.  Of late, however, incontinence is something that’s been on my mind.  I suppose it’s not just incontinence; it’s also constipation (but let’s focus on one today). 

Because all work and no play makes me restless, the words and phrases uttered by people ring in my head.  For instance, “old people smell like pee”, or concerning someone’s nan (passed away now), she had painful urinary tract infections, my grandmother missing the toilet bowl.  While the occasional not reaching the toilet as an adult might be down to poor timing or laughing too hard.  Or, if you’re like me, you’ll get absorbed in what you’re doing and ignore your body’s hints until the very last minute.

Possibly the reason it plays on my mind is my butt dropping.  To be expected, gravity and all. A comment in Endgame about Chris Evans’ ass, while hilarious, reminded me of a comment by a Hollywood female, missing out on a role because her arse had dropped an inch.  Yes.  It could be sour grapes or bad Hollywood.  Whatever the reason, exposure to the comments triggered the tangent thought process in me.

What does a dropping butt have to do with pee smell?  Well, when the butt is high, there’s room to pee freely; as the butt drops, it begins to impact on the space you have to pee, thus potentially rerouting the stream’s path – potentially leaving you smelling of pee if you don’t thoroughly wipe.   At this point, I’m weirded out by writing about it – another day.  But it’s certainly a motivating factor to increase my exercise.  Then how do you tighten the skin? Argh!

Upside

While it’s easy to get depressed over something like ageing, it’s worthwhile remembering, like the comments uttered by Danny Devito’s character, Eddie in Jumanji – The Next Level, ‘[g]etting old is a gift. I forget that sometimes, but it is.’ because it’s better than the alternative.  So, enjoy the moment and maybe a sense of curiosity with dashes of humour thrown it might make the process of ageing easier.

Today's Cards

Day 173. Tabled list: order of appearance. New Vision, The Burden, Letting Go, Ice-olation, The Miser, The Lovers, Thunderbolt, The Source, Adventure, Consciousness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Only one card carried over from yesterday; The Source moved from Distant Past to Others’ Views.

Cross

New Vision (Now) is either struggling to be born because of or despite The Burden (Influence) laid upon it.  The New Vision is the result of aiming of Letting Go (Goal).  Ice-olation in the Distant Past reeks of my depression and recently forces The Miser (Recent Past) to the surface, but diamonds form under pressure. 

The Lovers Future Energy of communion, awareness, and connection produces a union that is not just for themselves, but the relationship fosters compassion around them.  Thus, implying the New Vision will bring about an environment beneficial for more than just the people immediately involved.

Base

Thunderbolt is symbolic of change and represents my feelings (Feelings) about the New Vision.  It’s a shakeup because Ice-olation cannot continue to exist.

Once again, others view me as connecting to The Source.  My guess is others’ views (Others’ Views) are that I am calm and balanced.

The New Vision brings about hopes for a new Adventure because it’s not something I’ve done before.  But, on the flip side, Adventures also has an element of the unknown and fear is born from uncertainty.

Consciousness in the Outcome position echoes the card of The Lovers in its awareness and implies the Future Energy’s Consciousness has universal implications – just look at the image on the card.

That’s it for a day where it seemed like it was all work and no play

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. My Soul Embrace FAQ
End Day 173

Day 171 – New Computer More Spending

Sunday, 20 June 2021

Analysis one. Day 171. Tabled list: order of appearance. Control, Trust, Politics, Possibilities, Inner Voice, Morality, Conditioning, Sorrow, Clinging to the Past, Compromise. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

New Computer Context

After spending money on the NZ trip yesterday, my husband decides to buy a new computer; my emotions were slow to get on board.

When trying to write about today’s post, I struggled with what happened; my notebook for today’s date was a big blank.  My husband set about buying a new computer; this challenged the miser in me to want to hang on to our money a little longer, especially since we paid for the whole New Zealand ski trip yesterday.  I didn’t want to be a wet blanket, so I didn’t say anything.

Today's Cards

Analysis One. Control, Trust, Politics, Possibilities, Inner Voice, Morality, Conditioning, Sorrow, Clinging to the Past, Compromise

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Only one card carried over from yesterday; Control moved from Other’s Views to Now.

Cross

After the heady high of booking travel to New Zealand yesterday, Control is in the Now position influenced by Trust.  Basically, spending the money means we are no longer umming and ahhing about whether we should or shouldn’t travel.  It’s now in the lap of the gods as to what happens next, or we just need to Trust and hand over Control.

Politics is the Goal.  It’s showing one face while feeling another.  Perhaps this is regarding my husband wanting to buy his replacement computer.  It died a few weeks ago, and he’s been making do, and hot on the heels of the booked travel he wants to spend money on a new computer too. 

Logically, I don’t mind and waiting a week wouldn’t make a difference in this case and on the surface, I’m supportive, while underneath, I rather keep the money an extra week.  It’s not even my gut; it’s the miser coming out in me.

The Distant Past holds Possibilities; possibilities for travel, possibilities for a new computer; everywhere you looked at one time, there were possibilities.

We are moving forward from the options to the more Recent Past of Inner Voice. That would be the Inner Voice telling me the computer purchase is fine. 

Being okay with buying the PC led to the Future Energy of Morality, and Morality is about doing things correctly.

Base

My Feelings on the purchase of a new computer are Conditioning and falling prey to the miser who wants to hoard everything.  By playing “politics”, I was able to put on the face of the person I wanted to get to while the emotions caught up.  My mind was forward-thinking (breaking Conditioning), my intuition knew my mind was right in this instance, but my Feelings needed time to catch up.  

Others’ Views of me is one of Sorrow.  Although Osho uses Ananda’s experience of crying once a year for the people who didn’t reach enlightenment, I see this card as my self-pity card.  Maybe seeing me full of woe for my mixed emotions is how I’m perceived.

Ahh.  Here we go, Clinging to the Past, is in the Hopes & Fears place.  I’ve mentioned the two-faced Politics card and about hoarding things, aka Clinging to the Past.  I want to hold on to something and fear the hanging on to it too closely makes it disappear quicker.  I hope for a balance between the two.  Sometimes I wonder where carefree spending Michaela went – oh, that’s right, she got a mortgage!

Finally, the day saw the Outcome of CompromiseCompromise is the resentful meeting in the middle where a “balance” is reached, albeit sacrifice on both sides.  In the end, the store didn’t have the computer my husband wanted; I then felt bad that he didn’t get the new computer he wanted.  It was a merry-go-sorry moment when this was the discovery. 

That merry-go-sorry is in this situation what Compromise means; got the trip, the computer will have to wait, just like I thought I wanted.  Why am I sad for my husband then?  And, why didn’t I realise I’d feel this way earlier?

In the end, the analysis turned out to be fruitful and jogged my memory.  I suppose it was only yesterday 😉.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 171

Day 169 – Ageing, Dying and NDE

18 June 2021

Day 169. Tabled list: order of appearance. We are the World, Ordinariness, Thunderbolt, Suppression, Transformation, Control, Patience, Playfulness, Ice-olation, Ripeness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Ageing Context

Today, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about ageing. It’s something I think about a lot.  When I was younger, I’d heard from Buddhists that the fear of dying is what unites us and overcoming this fear would bring peace.  Similarly, in the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, fear is described on pages 3-4.  If this were true, then I wanted to get over the fear to live my life.

Careful What You Wish

By that time in my life, I’d had a bit of experience with the phrase, ‘be careful what you wish for but not enough to watch my thoughts on the matter.  At the time, I’d wished there was a way of dying without dying, without causing anxiety for those I love, and avoid pain – pain I thought was what scared me most.  Ideally, I wished the process of ‘trying out the death experience’ should be as close to going to sleep as possible.

I wanted to experience dying or close to it so I could eliminate the fear of it.  Simple, right?  And so it was, I received a near-death experience or NDE on my travels.  All elements of my wish fulfilled.  True.  For a long time, the NDE satisfied my curiosity about death, and it allowed me to live happily. 

Then I began to get older.  The body shape changed, things started to drop, and birthmark-like spots appeared.  At no point did I realise it wasn’t the dying people feared; it was the ageing process. It’s the scary possibility of becoming one of the people you felt empathy for because the age they were was so far away from your own.

As you become older, your wisdom increases a little but so potentially do some of your fears.  This thought prompted the thoughts of not just the body showing signs of Ageing but also the mind.  The assumption is because the body is Ageing, so then might the brain.

Ageing a Different Way

What if the mind continues to grow in a way that outgrows the body’s capacity to hold it?  Stay with me :), remember when you were a teen, and you knew everything there was to know?  You thought your parents had grown out of touch with reality?  But somehow, your grandparents were able to understand you?  What if your grandparents were going through a similar stage, but an experience cycle further along?

I mean, by experience cycle between the ages 0-9, you experience cycles from a never seen before perspective.  Then, from the ages ten to 19, the pattern sort of repeats itself, but you’re exposed to similar experiences, but this time with consciousness for the first time. Then, finally, when you get to the age of twenty to twenty-nine, your affairs are more profound, and this time you have some tools, knowledge, or both on how to tackle things, including the unexpected, and so on it goes.

Each of these is cycles; you can liken then to playing a computer game like Mario Bros; when you first start, the activities are manageable. As you become accomplished, the level increases in complexity to challenge you to grow your skills.  In a sense, you ‘level up your ‘experience cycle’.  At each stage of increasing your agility and adaptability, you improve.

Responsibilities of Ageing

Someone younger can never know what it’s like to be older.  Therefore, it is the responsibility of the older person to tolerate the younger and educate and prepare where they can.  Remember, when you were in your teens, you thought you knew it all; how to solve world hunger, how we could run the country better, and you thought your parents didn’t know how to have fun anymore.

What if by the time you’re in your later years, you once again ‘level up in a way where those younger than you cannot understand you.  At 50, are we still the teenagers of old to someone who is 80?  Still, assuming we know what is best for our elders without knowing what it’s like to be there, but simply judging their physical and mental interactions?  Could some of the elders’ changes begin to play with timelines differently from what we can relate at a younger age?  Should we be supporting a safe environment without assuming the place their in is ‘unnatural’?

Today's Cards

Ageing & Dying. Day 169. Tabled list: order of appearance. We are the World, Ordinariness, Thunderbolt, Suppression, Transformation, Control, Patience, Playfulness, Ice-olation, Ripeness. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Only one card carried over from yesterday, but Thunderbolt remained in the Goal position.  Thunderbolt over two days suggests a shakeup over an extended period.

Cross

We are the World is in the Now influenced by OrdinarinessOrdinariness has visited a lot in the past seven days.

Thunderbolt is in the Goal position and has visited frequently in the last couple of days as well.  Suppression in the Distant Past is a good indicator of denial or even suffering from depression. When I get depressed, it appears because I haven’t been looking at something I need to look at; sometimes that’s because it would mean upsetting someone I love or changing who I am; either way, I’m not being true to myself and suppressing my inner light results.

A Transformation in the Recent Past probably means something I was suppressing has either surfaced and changed the way I am regardless of my attempts to hide it.  Is it something that has emerged, and given the thinking about ageing, it’s probably been something I’ve been ignoring.  Or it’s something I haven’t wanted to look at and has made its way to the surface without the ability to rebury it.  Transformation is much like being born and unable to return to the womb.

With We are the World emerging from the Transformation is seems a bonding or community spirit has resulted when living every day. So it looks like; however, I’m trying to establish some Control if the Future Energy card is any indication.

Base

My Feelings on the subject is that it’s just a matter of waiting to see what evolves, Patience.  Ageing as you get older is one of those things you don’t necessarily want to hurry along.

On the outside, Others’ Views are those of Playfulness which would be trying to simply enjoy each moment as it arrives and live life to its fullest. 

Probably the thing that scares me isolating (Ice-location) myself from the world and unable to connect to those around me.  This fear comes from years of suppressing parts of who I am, even to those I love the most. It’s not so much a thing these days, but I know I’m good at it. My hope is I’m not hiding anything from myself which will surprise me.

Finally, the Outcome spot has the Ripeness card.  Interesting the Ripeness card has shown up when I have ageing on my mind.  The time is right for me to explore the topic, and perhaps, I need to simply surrender to the experience of ageing rather than fighting it.  However, I need to find a way to live as part of the world and not try to look like a doddering old fool while behind the scenes allowing myself moments to be so.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Rinpoche, Sogyal, 1988, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Random House, UK (Link to bookstore)
End Day 169

Day 168 – A Touching Theory on Snoring

17 June 2021

Day 168. Snoring: order of appearance. Receptivity, Sharing, Thunderbolt, Abundance, Stress, Harmony, Awareness, Completion, Sorrow, Postponement. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

Snoring Context

My husband’s snoring reawakened my long-time theory of why snoring happens. Sure there are others, but I’m allowed to play with ideas too.

For some time, I’ve pondered what snoring might mean.  So, I’ve come up with a theory.  At its core, the idea suggests snoring is a protective mechanism from when we lived in caves or surrounded by unsafe environments.  The more vulnerable we feel we are, the more likely the snore. 

Writing just the analysis is coming up, I promise, as there were some days when notes simply don’t exist for me to write anything on.  And the days were so dull anyway.

The Snoring Theory Begins

If I look up Louise L Hay’s ‘The List’, snoring’s possible cause is the ‘stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns’ (p.215).  Annette Noontil, on the other hand, suggests it might be the ‘rebelling at what you are regrouping for yourself in the universe – not being devoted to self.’.  My theory is a little more basic, perhaps, and goes back to ‘caveman’ days.

My theory goes to before personkind lived in communities, and there was a simple family dynamic of a woman, man and two children, one a toddler the other at the breast.  The man went out hunting; the woman stayed home with the children and gathered whatever was available close to the agreed shelter.

Presuming if the man went hunting for several days, he might be on his own.  By the way, the renewal of my interest in this topic – apart from the fact my husband snores regularly – is the reality show Naked & Afraid.  The TV show puts a man and a woman out in a wilderness with nothing but a traditional item of choice to survive.  It’s incredibly raw – no food, no water, no clothes for typically 21 days.  My survival skills in those conditions would last until it was time for the first-morning tea!  And that’s an optimistic view of events.

Let’s get back to my story.  Back to a man and a woman separated for a couple of nights, it is unfeasible to go without sleep.  So I’m going to follow the man’s journey for a moment.  First, the man creates a boma, a protective shelter, or finds a cave his experience tells him is safe.  Then, he builds a fire if he’s able.  

The Vulnerability of Sleep

So, the man falls asleep and let’s presume the area where the man is sleeping has night predators.  Loud noises tend to scare off these wild beasts.  What is snoring?  A loud noise.  What does a cave do sometimes?  It makes the loud noise noisier!  Hence, providing a level of protection while the man is asleep.  Snoring provides a small degree of protection from the beasts, hopefully enough to keep them at bay, while some valuable shut-eye happens.

The idea crossed my mind when our cats were kittens.  As kittens, their exposure to noises of this kind was non-existent.  Initially, when my husband began snoring, the kittens were startled by the sudden noise.  The cats’ were particularly alert when the snoring was arrhythmical, lacking in regularity.  It wasn’t just the cat’s who struggled with the times the snoring was arrhythmical!  💤

Also, my husband’s snoring gets louder and even more irregular (if that’s possible) the more vulnerable his situation, like when he’s sick.  Thus, adding to my idea that those who snore do so when there is some vulnerability.

Ammunition to Snoring

Another part of the theory came together when the topic came up with my stepmother-in-law lamenting about my father-in-law’s snoring.  Unfortunately, my father-in-law failed to see what the problem was because, being in the navy, he’d slept with a boatload of snoring men, and it never bothered him any.

Despite our tough adult exteriors, I believe we’re still children inside.  Otherwise, why is it when you turn 50, physiology aside, you don’t FEEL any different than when you were a teen or in your 20s?

So, a boatload of seamen away from shore, away from home, heading toward a potential war makes sense most would be snoring.  By the way, there’s another protective mechanism, and it’s the complete reverse of snoring – it’s silence.  In the jungle, a wild beast can smell you, so silence is riskier.  And on a boat, unless you trust everyone and the situation, snoring is a solid option.

Touching Moments

Being far from a saint, I have been in several relationships over the years.  Some of the relationships were sexual, while others were simply physical companionship.  And I’ve had this idea for some years, and during some of those relationships, when the snoring woke me or kept me awake, I would test the concept by seeing what happened if I touched them while they snored.

Again, I made some assumptions.  The first was that touch; for most people, it was welcomed, at least by the ones I knew.  Supposing it goes back to when we were babes in our mothers’ arms or lying in the cot and our parents lay a comforting hand on us while we slept.  Likewise, I sought to do the same.  It was amusing.  Touch the shoulder gently, and the snoring stopped, lift the hand, and the snoring began.  Stop, start, stop, start! It was like playing with a light switch.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t touch their shoulders long enough to get to sleep without falling asleep first. 

With this theory, it’s easier to accept my husband’s snoring.  I think of him protecting me from predators.  Let’s face it; if you were a burglar and heard arrhythmic snoring, you wouldn’t know if my husband was waking up or going back to sleep.  You’d think twice, wouldn’t you?

Anyway, I could write more, but I try to discipline myself to stop when time runs out. So I didn’t get to writing about the woman or when communities of cave-dwellers come together.  Nor did I get to look up any of the ‘sciency’ facts on search engine-like.  There are still a few days to go before the 365 days of Tarot finishes; when I’m seeking out ideas or even without needing to, I’ll probably revisit the topic.

Today's Cards

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Two cards carried over from yesterday; Thunderbolt moved from Recent Past to Goal, and Postponement moved from Influence to Outcome.

Cross

Receptivity is in the Now influenced by Sharing.  For a moment, there I had to do a double-take to make sure I had the right day because Day 166 began with the same two cards in the same order – weird!  So what does it mean in light of today’s musings?  I’m being receptive to new ideas and sharing them with you. But, of course, the argument presented is not fact because my “research” is minimal.

Hmmm.  Thunderbolt in the Goal position?  Thunderbolt means I’m looking to change things up.  The reading might not go the way I thought it might along the snoring lines.  Oh, well.

Abundance in the Distant Past is a contrast to Stress in the Recent Past.  It makes you wonder what happened.  If my goal is to change things up, and Thunderbolt suggests it is, then I think it might be the pain in my chest from the push-ups (Day 153).  At first, it worried me.  That’s the first thing to which all of these cards can relate.  As you can appreciate, having chest pain can be stressful.  My heart rate was regular, thank you iPhone app.  So, with the heart rate stable, I just monitored the area for worsening, but it easy up, and I switched to squats.

Future Energy is Harmony.  Isn’t that nice?  It’s about me connecting with my heart – in this case; it seems quite literally.

Base

My Feelings are those of Awareness as I open up another aspect amid the Thunderbolt’s reshuffling.   Now I would love to tell you what the reshuffle is, but my notes have run out 🤔. 

Others’ Views show that I’m making progress and have completed an aspect of my life.  Hence the card of Completion’s appearance.

Hope is that I don’t get depressed over the change and the corresponding fear is that Sorrow, like depression and despair, are the cause of the shift from Abundance to Stress.

Finally, the card of Postponement is in the Outcome position. So here I sit, wanting to delay uploading my writing until tomorrow.  Guess not.   It’s true; what difference would it make to do it now, since it’s late already?

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. Hay, Lousie L, You Can Heal Your Life, Gift Edition, Published: 1st September 1999, ISBN: 9781561706280
End Day 168

Day 166 – Time to Face Reality

15 June 2021

Day 166. Face Reality. Cross: Receptivity, Sharing, Morality, Clinging to the Past, Rebirth, Ice-olation, Base: Innocence, Celebration, Suppression, Compromise, standard shuffle

Face Reality Context

As the year progresses, I struggle to reach my goal of posting daily; I needed to face reality and be receptive to sharing differently.

 

For those of you who have been regular readers, you may have noticed that I’ve been struggling to keep up with daily posts.   Since the update on Day 161, I have had a few issues with my template and site setup.   For instance, the home page menu has disappeared, and the menu on the blog pages (above) has two menus that overlap each other.  It’s time for me to face reality.

Time I Faced Reality

I’m not a web developer, and the three times I’ve tried to get one, it took more time away from what I wanted to do.  Yes.  It’s my fault for being particular about the design and its look and feel.  Ironically, I wanted a better look and have ended up cobbling something together, which I’m happy with but am positive is not proper development 😏.

 

Obviously, I need to fix the template issues. However, spending time trying to fix these, even if I snag an excellent developer, will still take me away from writing. So, for the next few weeks, I’m trying to say there will be less content, and I will simply focus on the cards and their analysis. 

 

By the way, I fully expect writing in the analysis will blow out, and again this is where I need to learn to keep stricter time limits on my writing.  The first wealth is health, and it would be incredibly hypocritical of me to write about health and well-being if I didn’t practice what I preached.

Learning Lessons

I expected managing a website to be easy 😉 – clearly, I didn’t face reality. So, philosophically, there’s a learning in this for me; hopefully, I learn the right thing. But, unfortunately, sometimes there are so many options, and you can pick the wrong lesson through anger or despair. 

 

For instance, my football team loses; I could learn the opposing team are a bunch of scumbags and foster an antagonism toward them and their supporters.  Or I could understand that losing hurts; it is part of the game, losing can keep you humble, or realise that you need intense competition to get the buzz of a deserved win. 

 

Other lessons might include you needing to face reality, fierce competition sometimes means your team will lose, or you may need to learn how to handle your emotions if your friend supports the “scumbags” who just beat your team 😇.

 

The part where I thought I’d struggle was writing ideas, which is not the case.  Instead, there’s too much to write each day – even on days when there isn’t much happening.  It is pretty impressive how we underestimate what happens in our “ordinary” lives.

Today's Cards

Day 166. Tabled list: position number, description, and daily card.1 is Now Receptivity. 2 is Influence Sharing. 3 is Goal Morality. 4 is Distant Past Clinging to the Past. 5 is Recent Past Rebirth. 6 is Future Energy Ice-olation. 7 is Feelings or Immediate Future Innocence. 8 is Others' Views Celebration. 9 is Hope & Fears Suppression. 10 is Outcome Compromise. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

No cards carried over from yesterday.

The Face Reality Cross

Receptivity is in the Now influenced by Sharing. I want to be open and share everything I have with anyone willing to listen.  If you come across the website, then it is meant for you to come across.  What you do with the information you glean from it is up to you. 

 

In light of today’s apology, Morality sits in the Goal position, indicating that my focus was to do the right thing.

 

In the past, I was Clinging to the Past, hoping to catch up and hoping to deliver everything a full-time writer and blogger can provide.  But I am not them; I am only me and can only be me. 

 

Recently (Recent Past), a renaissance around the site occurred until Day 161 put me back a few steps.  The Rebirth was short-lived.  I am down, but I’m not out!  It will take a little time for me to get back up to date.  Who knows, perhaps my process and writing will improve.  

 

The Rebirth made me realise that I needed Receptivity to surrender to a self-inflicted process blocking me from Sharing.  Being comfortable with surrender is difficult; to me, it feels like Ice-olation, the card of today’s Future Energy position. 

 

Ice-olation is locking me away and making it difficult for others to reach me.  It’s not my preferred mode, but it works like a defence mechanism.  It’ll pass.

Base

My Feelings are that of Innocence.  Osho’s words on this card are lovely, “The innocence of children is beautiful, but ignorant.  It will be replaced by mistrust and doubt as the child grows…  But the innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changing wonder of life” (p.40).  The website adjustment is about experiencing the ever-changing wonder of life.

 

Others’ Views see me as having cause for Celebration. For example, maybe people are happy for me to be open to new ideas, changes, acceptance – viewed in this light, it is cause for Celebration.

 

Hopes and Fears – Okay, the biggest fear is I’m hiding something from myself.  Am I pretending to be honest with myself, or am I honest with myself?  Would I lie to me?  Hiding me from me is Suppression.  Hoping my experience is genuine and freedom from Suppression of self emerges.

 

Finally, argh!  Compromise in the Outcome spot.  Yuk!  Guess that’s what I’m proposing, though; keep the website going at the expense of quality.  The project manager’s enemy strikes again. 

 

In project management, there’s the time-cost-quality loop.  If you don’t have time, quality suffers; if you don’t have money, quality suffers.  In this case, because the website doesn’t produce money (as yet), meaning time is spent earning it elsewhere, and the site’s quality suffers as a result.  Grumble.  Oh, wait a minute.  Does that mean the cards are right?  Hmmm.  Guess so.

Update to Day 006

When trying to work out what went wrong with the website update, I came across Day 006 and gave it a refresh.  The layout’s better because I’ve broken it up into sections.  I got Grammarly to check the grammar – it should be easier to read.  It was also fun to reminisce. 

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 166

Day 116 – Others’ Views

26 April 2021

Day 116. Celtic Cross Layout: 1 is Now card is New Vision. 2 is Influence card is Awareness. 3 is Goal card is Receptivity. 4 is Distant Past card is Celebration. 5 is Recent Past card is The Outsider. 6 is Future Energy card is The Miser. 7 is Feelings or Immediate Future card is Guidance. 8 is Others' Views card is Rebirth. 9 is Hope & Fears card is Harmony. 10 is Outcome card is Letting Go

Context

Welcome to Day 116!

While on the phone arranging times to visit Delilah, she mentioned she had recently purchased some new outdoor on water sporting equipment we could try when we were down.  In the background her husband piped up in a teasing tone saying we should go to the Jack Evans Boat Harbour in Tweed Heads. 


In case you’d forgotten, Jack Evans Boat Harbour was where I slipped and broke my ankle back on 18 January.  Obviously, he was teasing in the hopes of getting a “no way”, or “that’s so mean” response from me.  Delilah even told him to pipe down and not to tease.  In all seriousness, I responded with “I didn’t mind in the least”.  In fact, going back to the boat harbour was something on my list of things to do next time we’re in the area.  It’s not like I’m going to walk on the algae-covered steps again – these caused the broken ankle in the first place.  There’s plenty of sand and grass to walk on without having to use the path I slipped on.


The odd thing about the discussion was afterward when I spoke to my husband about it, he too thought I might be shy on returning to the location as well – and he knows me!  it’s amazing to discover how different people’s points of view are.  Which is why judging them based on what you think they’re thinking isn’t always wise.  Anyway, it is understandable to want to avoid the area, but it’s quite the contrary to what I want to do. 

Am I missing something?  Yes, slippery concrete did/ does make me nervous, the trip to the swimming pool on a rainy day not so long ago helped me gain my confidence.  In selecting tiles to refurbish the bathroom extra attention was taken to ensure the floor tiles were more grippy but not too textured where soap or slime could get trapped in subtle raised edged and cause slipping. Let’s just say the incident has made me very aware of some surfaces.


A firm believer in the sooner you revisit the “scene of the crime” the more likely you’ll move on from whatever trauma it created.  When I went snow skiing and got concussion, the sooner we revisited the slope where the accident occurred, the happier I’d be – not that I could remember what happened, anyhow 😉.  There was partial short-term memory loss from the concussion.  Apparently, I was like Dory in Finding Dory (Stanton, 2016).


Even after suffering mild decompression sickness (bends, DCS) SCUBA diving, as soon as we arrived back from the vacation I wanted to go diving, to verify it was a random event – just for my own peace of mind.  Not until recently, have I begun to realise that this approach is not the normal approach; most people need to be forced to go back. 


If there were a safe way for me to re-enact stepping onto slippery surfaces and regain that part of the confidence still on shaky ground, I would probably give it a go. Had I walked on the slippery steps before the incident, I would try them again.  After all my husband walked on them without slipping as have others before me.  Perhaps in six months or a year, when all remnants of swelling and pain have left the formerly broken ankle area, I might give it another try (and it’s a very big MIGHT!).  It would be unnecessary to court the danger unnecessarily.


To me, it’s like the argument used on children spending more time resisting and avoiding doing the dishes, rather than doing them.  Then complaining about going to bed so soon after.  Had the children just gotten in and done the dishes without the resistance, without the argument, the whole chore would have been and gone easier and quicker.  So too with revisits to places of injury and/ or trauma.  Admittedly, my traumas have been mild compared to others experiencing far worse.


Besides, it would be interesting to see if the council had followed through on putting up a warning sign or treated the area with anti-grip measures to reduce the likelihood of others experiencing the same fate or worse. 


Another part of the discussion with Delilah revealed that her husband’s AFL team would be playing my AFL team.  Ooh… looks like we’re set for a feisty night!


Let’s see what the cards have to say!

Today's Cards

Day 116. Tabled list: position number, description, and daily card.1 is Now card is New Vision. 2 is Influence card is Awareness. 3 is Goal card is Receptivity. 4 is Distant Past card is Celebration. 5 is Recent Past card is The Outsider. 6 is Future Energy card is The Miser. 7 is Feelings or Immediate Future card is Guidance. 8 is Others' Views card is Rebirth. 9 is Hope & Fears card is Harmony. 10 is Outcome card is Letting Go. Shuffle method was Washing Machine

The Cards - Analysis

Carry Over Cards

There were no carry over cards from yesterday.

Analysis

New Vision is in the Now position influenced by Awareness.  New Vision describes the energy and idea before a transformation takes place.  When influenced by a growing Awareness of one’s situation growth is usually likely especially if one is receptive to it. 

 

The Goal is ReceptivityReceptivity as a Goal does not mean that the questioner, me in this case, is necessarily fulfilling the Goal, after all a goal is an aspiration.  If it weren’t an aspiration, it would be sitting in the Now position.  The card’s name aptly describes its function in the context.  That is, to be open to new ideas and new ways of being with respect to those around me.

 

There’s the Celebration card in the Distant Past and The Outsider card in the Recent Past.  The New Vision of the Now and the repressive feeling of The Outsider’s fear of missing out has the potential of creating a Future Energy of The Miser

 

The Feelings/ Immediate Future position has the card of Creativity. Creativity isn’t restricted to the world of artistry but is about putting together ideas, concepts and forming new visions.  Overall, the reading feels like a psychological shift is in progress happening. 

 

It’s like one of those dreams where you know you dreamt and what you dreamt was important somehow.  However, for the life of you, you can’t remember the dream which was rapidly slipping from your memory and mind as you try to grasp the last fragments in a futile attempt to make sense of it.

 

Others’ Views has the card of RebirthRebirth or revisit isn’t much different considering today’s context which focusses on a revisit to the “scene of the crime” (broken ankle).  The image on the card shows a person coming from the guts of a lion.  Probably seen as reacquainting myself with place of the accident.

 

Harmony is the card in the Hopes & Fears position.  On this one, hoping the revisit to the site goes smoothly and the council has put up some safety measures.  The other side of that coin is the fear that nothing has happened since the fall and contacting the council and lodging another complaint is necessary.

 

Letting Go is in the Outcome position. While I feel like there’s a psychological shift the cards are picking up, I couldn’t tell you what that shift looks like.  All these changes inevitably rely on you Letting Go of something, for you to embrace the new.  It’s a bit like a relay, if you don’t pass the baton, you don’t move on.

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 116

Day 099 – Vacation Past & Present

9 April 2021

Day 099. Celtic Cross Layout: 1 is Now card is Rebirth. 2 is Influence card is Comparison. 3 is Goal card is Past Lives. 4 is Distant Past card is Consciousness. 5 is Recent Past card is Abundance. 6 is Future Energy card is Moment to Moment. 7 is Feelings or Immediate Future card is Maturity. 8 is Others' Views card is Completion. 9 is Hope & Fears card is Celebration. 10 is Outcome card is Letting Go

Vacation Context

My vacation today is different from the ones I took in my youth.  I’m constantly reminiscing about my past, & I realise why they’ve changed. 

There are always times when the family are visiting, in our household at least, where the exchange of information dries up, and conversation simmers to that comfortable, “can you make me a cuppa?” or “what do you feel like for dinner?”.  Beyond that, everyone feels comfortable enough to catch up on a few winks by lying on beds.  At other times, a neighbourhood walk is a pleasant way to spend an hour or two. 

Community Gardens

Being classified as a medium-density housing area, the blocks in our neighbourhood can’t have extensive gardens.  As a result, planting space for fruit and vegetable gardens is limited.  Fortunately, the community has been provided with some land to grow vegetable gardens. 

When my nephew visits, he loves visiting these gardens to see what’s growing.  It also provides a teaching opportunity about the various fruits and vegetables grown in the gardens.  Since my nephew visited last time, the gardens have received some love and care and have blossomed into something beautiful.  The fresh food made us realise it was time to head back for lunch.

While everyone had their afternoon siesta, I ran around, getting the place back up to speed.  Guests are great at assisting, but there are always little things that are not “guest” activities to fix which still need to get done.  Different guests go nap at other times, but it still means you need to be awake to converse with the remaining guest/s who hadn’t gone to rest.  Of course, this means as a host, you don’t get the nap.

The adults watched a Travel Guides (Australia) show; the adults went for a nap except me.  Time, for me, was spent watching the nephew playing on the PlayStation.  As you can imagine, there wasn’t much for me to do, but for some reason, the moment I went to leave, my nephew would have a question.  

So, instead of leaving, I stayed and reflected.  Part of me reflected on the difference between my younger self and my older self and how the youthful me soaked up every moment of recreation leave, while my older self wants to travel and spend a week at home before I go back to work.

Vacation Attitude of the Past

For instance, before travelling to Africa, I left work clothes in the work change rooms.  The plan was for when the plane landed back home at Sydney airport at 6:30 am; I could go from the airport, get changed and be at work by 8:00 am.  This strategy enabled me to use every moment of recreation leave, for productive recreational purposes, right up to the last second.  Anything less at the time was considered (by my younger self) to be a waste of vacation time.

The response to any concerns other people had around wanting to come back a little early to sort themselves out was, everyday living would sort out clothes washing, dishes et cetera.  I could catch up on sleep at the weekend.  The body would reach its sleep equilibrium over the next couple of days.  What I hadn’t allowed for was “jetlag”.  

My mother called to say ‘hi’ at lunch, and my boss took the phone and, in a joking tone but completely serious, said, come and get her as soon as possible – she’s useless to me today.  I started at the remark, but my boss ignored my protests and indignation.  As the boss highlighted, I was suffering jet lag, and my focus was scattered.  He was right, and he was also a fantastic boss!  Smart and compassionate.  I hated being beaten by jet lag!

Why My Vacation Changed

Ahhh….  How smug karma must feel today.  As the dawning of understanding about other people’s choices in the past sinks in every time, I add additional days to my vacation to be at home.  My, my how perspective changes. 

In defence of my younger self, she did not have a home loan, pets, partner or anywhere near the myriad of “other” obligations which the older self now needs to maintain.  She had a simple life, living in a one-bedroom unit that only required keeping clean and paying the rent.  Mobile phones didn’t exist yet, and to make a phone call, you had to go to the phone box.  Younger me also had a good savings plan, didn’t have to worry about a car loan, just registration and car insurance.  All up, without all the grown-up overheads, it was easy to show up at work, earn money, and go on vacation.

Another thing my younger self didn’t understand was the sooner you went back to work after a vacation, the sooner the break became buried under daily life.  So now I take a few days to savour the trip before heading back into the fray.

Today's Cards

Day 099. Tabled list: position number, description, and daily card.1 is Now card is Rebirth. 2 is Influence card is Comparison. 3 is Goal card is Past Lives. 4 is Distant Past card is Consciousness. 5 is Recent Past card is Abundance. 6 is Future Energy card is Moment to Moment. 7 is Feelings or Immediate Future card is Maturity. 8 is Others' Views card is Completion. 9 is Hope & Fears card is Celebration. 10 is Outcome card is Letting Go. Shuffle method was Standard Shuffle

The Cards - Analysis

Carryover Cards

Only one card carried over from yesterday; Past Lives moved from Hopes & Fears to Goal.

Cross

In the Now position is Rebirth, influenced by the card of Comparison.  The Goal today was Past Lives

There was no conscious choice to prompt the thoughts of travels in the past, yet I was aware I wanted to write about it today somehow.  I think this so many times on so many days, and it never comes to fruition – not about this topic, just about any topic in general.  It doesn’t always come to fruition because the writing and the day can turn out differently from what I expect and write about them instead.

The Rebirth is possibly me thinking about past travel.  The Comparison’s influence is evident in how I managed travel time in vacations past instead of how I look at travel time today.  Past Lives is also apparent in that I’m comparing a “past life” from this current day to a travel style that seems to have happened several lifetimes ago.

In the Distant Past, I was fully aware, Consciousness, of the overarching travel arrangements.  Today I’m a little more relaxed with funding and scheduling vacations.

In the Recent Past, the Adventure card indicates that I still enjoy my adventures of self-discovery. However, if vacations today were modelled on the same format as previously, the discovery of new experiences at the time wouldn’t have occurred.

After all, your life is a Moment to Moment discovery 😁 as displayed in the Future Energy card echoing and continuing the Adventure card.

Base

In the Feelings or Immediate Future position is the Maturity card.  The Maturity card is about understanding growth and how you got to where you are. So it makes sense that since the early years, I’ve become more knowledgeable.

Others’ Views are that of Completion.  My Completion is putting all the “pieces” together for myself.  I have resolved the longing to travel like I once did to accept the way I like to vacation.

Hopes & Fears has the card of CelebrationCelebration is an excellent time to take a vacation.  I hope that the next break can encompass some adventure like in the past; the corresponding fear is that due to COVID, we will be unable to fulfil the desired vacation.

Letting Go in the Outcome position seems to be unrelated to the other cards.  However, it could mean recognising vacations are different, and it’s time to let go of the longing to do things the way I used to do them, thus, Letting Go.

References

Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7

End Day 099

Day 076 – World as Reflection, me as Ultracrepidarian

Wednesday, 17 March 2021

Day 076. Celtic Cross Layout of daily cards.1 is Now, card is The Fool. 2 is Influence, card is Aloneness. 3 is Goal, card is Thunderbolt. 4 is Distant Past, card is New Vision. 5 is Recent Past, card is Innocence. 6 is Future Energy, card is Understanding. 7 is Feelings, card is Existence. 8 is Others’ views, card is Laziness. 9 is Hopes & Fears, card is Sharing. 10 is Outcome, card is The Burden.

Ultracrepidarian Context

Welcome to Day 76!  I love St Patrick’s day! Yes, I’m generalising based on the people I’ve met who are from Ireland.  In fact, Irish people have a great sense of humour. Perhaps it’s just the accent that makes me smile.  There’s something about the lilt. 

When it comes to matters Irish, I become an ultracrepidarian. Thank you, Susie Dent, for another beautiful word of the day.  The meaning of ultracrepidarian, Ms Dent describes it as a 19th-century word that “describes someone who loves holding forth on matters they know absolutely nothing about”.  It was fun to read the Twitter feed beneath the post as well.  Whenever Susie posts a word, there’s a bunch of responses pointing out the extreme examples of those fitting the description of the word of the day.

One of the things I discover midway through an ultracrepidarian moment is how much I don’t know on the subject.  In the past, this is where information got creative.  Why?  What was I afraid of?   Not knowing something?  A quote from, who I thought was Coco Chanel but actually was Maimonides, “teach your tongue to say I don’t know”.  (Added 9 Oct 2021, I’d misquoted.  In the meantime, here is a  Coco Chanel quote, “I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not”.

Anyway, it reminds me of those times when accusing or complaining about someone else’s actions and realising I’m doing the same thing.  For example, during an argument with my sister, we often accused each other of being “selfish” when we were in our teens.  (Pst. Not just teens just sound better if I put some distance between me and some of my not-so-proud moments).  When we were accusing each other of being selfish, we were each being selfish.  We each wanted our way.  

If we didn’t mind, why were we discussing and trying to score points with the accusation?  Even knowing this is what we were doing, we failed to learn from using the word as a point scorer or barb in arguments.  Sometimes, it even worked 🙀.

This interaction and irony had me take a closer look at words I used in challenging situations.  It had me watching for moments when I was accusing others of something to see if I was guilty of it myself.   It became easier to spot in moments when irritated by someone or something.  On reflection, I began to see what innumerable wise sources have said; the world is us reflected ourselves.   It’s the whole “physician heal thyself” or “charity begins at home” thing.  This self-assessment stuff is a work in progress, but a LOT of tests keep confirming those sources.

What do you do when you discover you don’t like the aspect of yourself that irritates you?  You can try to deny it, ignore it, reinvent it, control it, suppress it, accept it, but best of all, you can “compassion it”.  Showing kindness to that aspect of yourself allows you to acknowledge it in others better as well as in yourself. 

For me, exercising compassion on an irritation worked.  Gentle understanding overwhelmed me in a meeting where everyone was vying for the right to be heard.  In this environment, what I wanted to say wasn’t going to get a look in.  Irritated, I sat back to think on an approach to get my point across.  At this moment, mindfulness kicked in.  Suddenly I realised the participants and I was all doing the same thing.  We were like kids wearing grown-up clothes, too big for us, mimicking what adults do in a meeting.

We were still fundamentally stamping our feet, trying to “out tantrum” each other. At that moment, I got an image of everyone in the room being four years trying to manage their insecurities but not very successfully – if you were looking.  Following that moment came a wave of compassion for everyone in the room.  How could you be irritated by four-year-olds trying to be brave? Figuratively speaking, of course.

That’s not to say that I saw them as four years old – I did but didn’t.  Probably to use some New Age terminology, or perhaps it’s from the psyche fields, I saw the inner children motivating the adult.  The irritation I had felt disappeared and became a wave of compassion and love for everyone in the room.   What I had to say didn’t matter; my idea would get out there, even if I didn’t get the credit.  

There was a quote that embedded itself into my psyche that went something like, “you can accomplish a great many things if you don’t mind who gets the credit”.  It’s not that it doesn’t occasionally irritate me when something of mine is adopted by someone else.  Alas, there’s another quote by Goethe: “All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; …”.   Who knows where the idea came from to get to me in the first place? There’ll be others.

This post took a weird turn; it started with me wanting to write something that, in the end, probably would have shown me to be genuinely ultracrepidarian.  Maybe it did just that. The post ended by showing how for some areas, I’ve learnt compassion for my foibles.

Let’s see what the cards say!

Today's Cards

Day 076. Tabled list: position number, description, and daily card.1 is Now, card is The Fool. 2 is Influence, card is Aloneness. 3 is Goal, card is Thunderbolt. 4 is Distant Past, card is New Vision. 5 is Recent Past, card is Innocence. 6 is Future Energy, card is Understanding. 7 is Feelings, card is Existence. 8 is Others’ views, card is Laziness. 9 is Hopes & Fears, card is Sharing. 10 is Outcome, card is The Burden. Shuffle Method used was Washing Machine.

The Cards - Ultracrepidarian Analysis

Sharing is the only card that carried over from yesterday.  Yesterday it sat in the Distant Past and today it sits in the Hopes & Fears.  Although, I wouldn’t draw a correlation between the two, but Sharing in the Distant Past could very well prompt a longing to recall the Sharing moment and perhaps fearful it’s not reproducible. 

The Now has The Fool with the Influence of Aloneness and a Goal of Thunderbolt.  

The Fool in the Now is the embarking of the journey to let go of my previous role and focus on the new one.   Aloneness in the Influence position means that no-one can do the letting go for me. 

Thunderbolt is that handing over to respective areas.  It’s a big shift for me and for those getting the projects.  It means that for a time, my popularity may drop. 

This stems from when my organisation in the Distant Past had a New Vision and how it wanted to go about delivering what it delivers.  Working in the area that needed to change, I needed to change.  

The Distant Past of the New Vision gave way to Innocence in the Recent Past.  Innocence I was a person with experience but innocent to what the new role entailed.  Up until recently, that knowledge was new, now it’s time to begin to embrace it.  This is because I’m beginning to as the Future Energy card demonstrates, get an Understanding of what is required of me.

The Feelings or Immediate Future reflected in The Fool is that it is all part of ExistenceExistence is about just being yourself/ myself and realising that it’s my uniqueness that’s needed.   

Others’ Views of has the card of Laziness.  A consequence of doing two roles and wanting to take it back down to a single role for which I’m employed, is that it might appear that I’m trying to shirk some of my responsibilities and that I am being lazy.  Particularly, a project where over the years I’ve established a good working relationship.  Persons in the area have changed and it just seems difficult to “start again”.

Hopes & Fears is Sharing. Following on from the “starting again” in the business relationship there was a time when Sharing of information and respect was high and carried with it a warmth. My Hope is to build the relationship to a new style of friendliness by Sharing.  The Fear is because there are different people involved it will not even happen.  

The Outcome is The BurdenThe Burden card suggests I will be working on the two roles for a little while yet.  Long enough for it to continue to be a burden.  

 

References

  1. Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
  2. 2021, Susie_Dent, Twitter
End Day 076

Working the Year of the Metal Cow!

Stylised image of cow looking over shoulder with text of Year of the Metal Cow.

Welcome to the Year of the Metal Ox or Cow!

The Lunar New Year celebrations begin on the new moon and finishes with the full moon two weeks later.  In the previous post, Year of the Rat – in review, isn’t necessary before reading this post, it might be helpful. There’s likely to be some duplication in this post.

One of the things you’ll notice is that I like referring to the Year of the Ox as the Year of the Cow, this is because the Asian Lunar signs follows the yang-yin pattern.  Yang is considered to be masculine and yin is considered feminine.  Therefore, the animals of the yin years should reflect the female of the animal.  

While I suspect that the naming convention comes from the days where men were the jewel in the crown because they had more muscles than women and therefore more physical strength.  Physical strength which was required for battles and wars.  Men born in a yin year did not want to be perceived as weaker and therefore chose to name even the yin years by the name of the male counterpart.

Reluctantly, there is logic to using the yang counterparts, especially where the female counterparts – when translated – could be confused with each other. Such as the ox and boar in particular.  The female version for both can be called a cow.  Although, Year of the Sow would work for the boar. 

If the animals you are referring to is the Year of the Rabbit, then the female would be the Year of the Doe, which could get confused with the more common use of doe for deers and the year might get confused as being the Year of the Deer – oh dear! *smile*.     If it’s the Year of the Goat, then the female can also be called a doe. If the year is being referred to as the Year of the Cat, then it would be the Year of the Queen (unsplayed) – possibly giving women ideas above their designated station. Note, I am not sure that the female versions would translate the same way into Chinese characters.

It’s all about balancing the yang and yin and honouring both, wherever I can.  Honour the male in the yang, honour the female in the yin.  Both are strong in different ways.  In Year of the Rat – in review I mentioned that over the years I’ve made some observations about what might get you through each of the years.  For details on what your year is going to be like you’re best off seeking out the latest, “Your Chinese Horoscope for 2021” by Neil Somerville or the like.   

In the Year of the Rat – in review post, I referred to the characteristics identified by centuries of Chinese astrologers.  Various authors have written their take but the ones that have gravitated to be were written by Paul Rigby and Harvey Bean in “Chinese Astrologics”, and a book written by Neil Somerville on the current year’s sign on your own.  Somerville includes a bit of a personality profile for each sign before he talks to the impact which is what helps me work on what I honour for that year.   

The Year of the Dog was always my challenge, it was the final year at high school (age group 17/18 years).  At 18 you’ll encounter your opposite lunar sign for the second time, the first time is at the age of six and most of us don’t remember it too well – or I don’t anyway.  

My 18th birthday was in the Year of the Dog and I was in my final year of school – this is the final year before University where I grew up.  For most of my school life, I was fortunate to get through school using natural intelligence.  If I wasn’t able to get a concept, I was able to “fake it until I made it”.  At the time, my parents were going through a bitter divorce. My mother had to work long hours (double shifts at the kitchen – she was a Swiss trained traditional Chef) to get food on the table, and didn’t get much time to push us to do our homework.  As children, my sister and I thought we were living the dream!

However, that meant hard work was a foreign concept to me – my sister was naturally more studious, probably because she’s smarter than me on many levels.  In my final year at school, the lack of discipline around doing homework was a complete disadvantage.  In short, I failed my final exams.  There were a lot of reasons for this, in part, it was my stubbornness within an one exam to not do the whole exam (Physics) and in part because I hadn’t studied hard enough.  

There were some mind games of rebellion against my father that didn’t help matters.  Nonetheless, I failed and that’s what I needed to live with and within me I knew it was my lack of devotion and dedication to my studies.  After all, what you invest your time in is where you will gain your rewards – right?.

By comparison, those that had dedicated themselves to homework, assignments, and study all did well. Those like me, got a rude shock. Not that I was an exceptional student, I wasn’t.  I was good enough to pass most things either physically, intellectually or artistically better than most, but not as good as those that are gifted.  The goal I had was to be average, people and everyone liked average!  It didn’t attract too much attention either good or bad.  Since, the earliest school years, I’d been a good all-rounder, or as they say, “a jack of all trades but a master of none”.

Dealing with the results were a kick in the teeth, guts, and emotions all at the same time!  It was what started the questing for answers and possible ways to handle years like the Year of the Dog again. Some influence of the 60s still lingered in my parents and their friends enough that star signs played a part in my upbringing.  Doing karate as a extracurricular activity also brought Chinese star signs into my life.

By 1994, I was at the very invested in how to deal with the Year of the Dog.  That’s where I got Neil Somerville’s “Your Chinese Horoscope for 1994”.  Someone had mentioned that you needed to honour and respect the year that you’re in.  You honour it by including the traits of the year in your daily life and these things will attract favourable energy and outcomes. Somerville’s book provided me with the knowledge of the traits and I embarked on honouring those traits. 

At the end of the 1994 Year of the Dog, regardless of the challenges faced in my working life.  I made it through the hard work had been reflected in an appreciation award for the company.  It was a much better feeling than that of failure 12 years earlier.  From there, I continued to use Rigby & Bean and Somerville’s books as a guides around the traits to honour in each year.  It doesn’t mean that my life is a charmed life but it does round out my ability to adapt and strengthen my weaknesses.  Like that of hard work, I no longer solely rely on my natural abilities, knowing that I can work hard too. 

At this time, I’ll point out that I have not purchased any of Somerville’s other yearly guides.  Aiming to experience the years for myself.  Sometimes, I absorb the guidelines too much and prefer to look at it in retrospect.  Unsurprisingly, you’re unable to purchase last year’s  predictions at the end of the year *smile*.

So, what are the traits for the year of the Cow that need honouring?  Let’s take a look!

"... this is the year to achieve through hard work and conscientious endeavour.  it is a time to put business and home affairs in order.  It is not a year for flamboyance or hasty decisions."

For the short version of what to emulate in 2021’s lunar year, I would use the following paragraph from Somerville.  From it I would pick out the traits of equilibrium, tenacity, conscientiousness, resoluteness, methodical, determined and dedicated to an objective.  

The Ox is born under the signs of equilibrium and tenacity. Oxes are hard and conscientious workers and sets about everything in a resolute, methodical and determined manner. Oxes have considerable leadership qualities and are often admired for their tough and uncompromising nature. Oxes know what they want to achieve in life and, as far as possible, will not be deflected from their ultimate objective.

Personally, the words that I would keep in mind for the year are, “equilibrium and tenacity”.  Everything else will fall into those to characteristics.  For instance, the qualities listed in the Rigby & Bean book are: 

  1. Perseverance (tenacity)
  2. Being practical.  Avoid being too sentimental. (equilibrium)
  3. Balanced (equilibrium)
  4. Tenacious (tenacity)
  5. No-Nonsense with a touch of cheekiness – it’s not all hard work (equilibrium & tenacity)
  6. Aggressive  (tenacity & equilibrium.  Do not confuse aggression with violence, giving birth is an act of aggression, seedlings breaking through the ground is an act of aggression, chicks hatching out of shells are acts of aggression.  These aren’t delicate matters but they are not of violence)
  7. Family-minded family focused  (equilibrium)  
  8. Devoted and independent (tenacious & equilibrium).  
  9. Cautious at first then resolute (equilibrium)
  10. Actions will speak louder than words this year (tenacity and conscientiousness)

Being a yin sign, the cow is also nurturing (milk) and peaceful that likes equilibrium.  Yin balances out the yang from the year before and prepares us for the next touch yang in the Year of the Tiger ahead.  Being a yin year, it will favour the feminine and women.  It will be beneficial to honour the women in your life and indulging in your own feminine side. 

So, by being methodical and conscientiousness this year might win you favour with the year.  When I say, “win favour”, I don’t mean that a cow will rock up on your doorstep and give you a reward.  It’s simply saying that life will be that bit smoother.  

Don’t take my word for it, try an experiment – a safe one! (remember number nine above: Cautious) In the first month you could try honouring the cow’s traits and then the next deliberately reverse your approach.  Then compare the two month was easier. Of course, don’t try doing all the traits at once, just stick with equilibrium and tenacity as guide words with maybe methodical in there for good measure.    

Special note to those who are born in the year of the Goat/ Rabbit/ Cat, where the appreciation of the finer things in life might be tempting as well as indulging in art.  This is not a year where, “art for art’s sake” will pay off.  If you are going to create something, make sure it’s “practical as well as being an artwork”.   Lean into your strength of “diligence” for best results because this works in nicely with the conscientiousness of the Cow/ Ox. 

Good luck!   

References

Paul Rigby and Harvey Bean, Getting it together with Chinese Astrologics, independently published, link to a source is here but the site was “not secure” at the time of writing.  Therefore, I do not recommend purchasing from the site until it has become secure, whitelotusbooks.com.  If you do decide to purchase use a “burner” credit card (gift credit card).

Neil Somerville, Your Chinese Horoscope for 1994, The Aquarian Press 1993, ISBN 1-85538-290-3

Disclaimer

Advice given above is not professional and should be read with humour. Following suggestions does not guarantee results and information contained herein is based solely on personal experience and not factually recorded in anyway.

Year of the Rat – in review

Image showing faded rat made of metal with text saying, "Bye, Year of the Rat"

Welcome to the East Asian Lunar New Year!

Since China has been around for many centuries and developed what is today the Chinese Astrological signs. Like with most things with a mystical element, I enjoy watching to see what parts of assigned characterisations apply.  The role I play is that of curious observer.  

Like with anything there must be a time when it transitioned from, ‘not existing as a thing to being a thing’.  Basically, from non-existing to existing.  The next set of questions are: “what person/ people made these observations?”, “why did it take off?” and “why are they male when it follows the principles of yin and yang?”

The next thing I do when I’m looking at things like the astrology signs and the like, is that I assume that some of the belief is superstition and it is coupled with some astute observations.  Let’s face it, looking up at the stars won’t tell you what they mean.  It requires a degree of observation and memory of the stars placement and an observation of mankind’s for personalities of people born within or against that placement.  Then it requires years and centuries to validate anything.    

With the Chinese astrological cycle being made up of 60 signs, memory and observation needed to be good for a long period of time to even observe the cycle. Did the person who first started with the observations go, ah this is similar to what happened 12 years ago but the people are a little more forthright than normal, they seem to have …. ah… how do you say it?  …. Fire!  

If it were superstition by itself, none of these “beliefs or observations” would have stuck around for so long.  And then there’s the part of environmental conditioning and being born into a world that observes it.  

I became interested in Chinese Astrology back in the mid 1980s.  At first, it was observing the year I was born in and those of my family and friends as objectively as I could.  Then in the 1990s I managed to stumble across a couple of Chinese Astrology books made super simple and super fun.  Nothing too serious.  Surprisingly, two of these books have followed me around.  When I want to know what a year is going to be like, I look up the “fun” version for the very concise advice on how to honour, respect and deal with the year.  To-date the observations have been pretty on-point.  For me at least.

For instance, Chinese Astrologics (p. 13, Rigby and Bean) summary for the year of the Rat was/ is:   

"... this is a good year for commerce, speculation and the economy in general.  It is a time for sensible investment and fluctuations will be beneficial.  There will be some arguments and a few surprises!".

Did you just go… “Ha! How wrong is that!”.  Not so fast Kimosabe!  Last Lunar year was the year of the “Metal Rat”.   

Metal adds a whole new dimension. It is associated with cutting tools.  Metal is great if you are a chef, surgeon or lumberjacks for knives, scalpels and axes, respectively. When it comes to the economy we’d need to go back 60 years to look at 1960 for the last Metal Rat.  It looks like the USA, at least, also had its economic challenges and like 2020. By the end of lunar 2020 year things were beginning to settle down.  It’s probably fair to say that it should be worded that “this is a year for commerce, speculation and the economy in general”, omitting the word “good”.  

As for the rest of the statement, it’s fair to say “bingo!”. Heads of state clashed with each other over how to handle the Coronavirus pandemic.  Obviously, COVID-19 was a “surprise!” in and of itself. Other stuff the year focussed on were: energy, charm, self-control, opinionated, shrewd, social, congenial, clever, resourceful, and generous.  

From my own observations over the years, if you exhibited and honoured the traits pertaining to that year, the year would look more kindly on you.  

So, in a few quick words against each point from a general perspective:

1. Energy or energetic – There was certainly a lot of hustle happening around getting technology up-and-running for a work-from-home world. There was certainly a lot of activity in the medical and health sciences arenas too.  Ah, what am I saying, it at some point you were expending energy to do something different in your life.  

2. Charm – from a personal perspective, the leaders of each of the Australian states, mostly fostered or displayed charm.  The states with leaders that began their communications on COVID with displays of positivity in the form of thanking people for getting tested and thanking others for isolating and following the health advice restrictions fared better than those when they were frustrated with parts of the population for doing the wrong thing.  

3. Self-control – A big year for mental health.  Self-control to me is all about mental health.  It’s how you cope with change and pressure.  If you’re charming and appear in control the year will reward you. 

4. Opinionative – while every country had their share of rightful skeptics regarding the restrictions for COVID-19.  Those who thought they were right and everyone else was wrong or those with strong opinions regardless of the correctness of the statements also got attention. This most prevalent in my world during the US election. 

5. Shrewd – in a year like this year, you needed to be shrewd to survive.  If you were shrewd you were most likely rewarded for your shrewdness or resourcefulness.

6. Social – definitely a focus for the year was the way we interacted with each other socially.  Etiquette around socialising aspect shifted.   In a year when socialising was hard if you socialised or found new ways to socialise you could avoid “cabin fever” for the most part.

7. Congenial – how often were we “in this together but apart?”. This year in particular if you were congenial, the year would by rights reward you with congeniality right back at you. 

8. Generous – those with a generous spirit hidden inside came to the fore this year.  Again, if you were generous with something you got repaid in kind.  Caution:  if you were generous with anger you that energy back just the same.

That’s it for the “Year of the Metal Rat”.  It was a tough year and one unlikely to be forgotten in a hurry.  Next we move on to the year of the Metal Cow.  

References

Paul Rigby and Harvey Bean, Getting it together with Chinese Astrologics, independently published, link to a source is here but the site is “not secure” and therefore, I do not recommend purchasing from that site until it has become secure: http://whitelotusbooks.com/bookdetail.php?id=N2691

Random thoughts on Australia Day!

For those unaware 26 January in Australia Day in, you guessed it, Australia.  This is when the European settlers claimed Australia as its own.  Unfortunately, this neglected the thousands of years of occupation by the incumbent indigenous population, the Australian aborigines.   To them Australia Day is known as Invasion Day.

Thankfully, society has moved from the barbaric actions of the new comers to finally acknowledge and treat with respect the indigenous population.  There has been talk of moving the day, however, I think this is unlikely.

Australia Day is a day where the efforts  Australians have made to Australia for whatever reason receive awards.  The problem with this is when it comes to acknowledging the outstanding indigenous contributors who struggle with the day.

Now, I am far from an expert in indigenous affairs and therefore anything I put forward is not meant to be offensive to anyone at all.  But there’s a part of me that has always thought that there should be two days for Australia Day.  The 25 January celebrating the indigenous population’s contribution. Being on the day before Australia Day being symbolic of their existence before European’s landed.

Twenty-six January can then be for the celebration of landing on the wonderful soil that is Australia for the European settlers. Perhaps we need another day, the 27 January to celebrate the harmony between the two parties.  But perhaps 13 February “Sorry Day” is a better day to celebrate the coming together of the traditional owners and the new settlers.  It’s probably too messy for me to figure out.

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