Wednesday, 27 October 2021
Email Therapy Context
Sometimes you think what’s happening at work is stupid. Usually, when I encounter a standard “frustration” type of stupidity, it passes without too much of a blip. After all, I’m guilty of contributing to other people’s frustration when I do something minor and stupid, and it’s all par for the course. However, when something strikes me as preposterously ridiculous, I need to rant, and if it’s work-related, I tend to pursue “email therapy”.
The version of “email therapy” I’m talking about today is simple, type an unaddressed DRAFT email to the person who is the source of your frustration and save it to drafts – or delete depending on your preferences. By the way, I don’t know if there is such a thing as “email therapy”, and I’m too frustrated to look it up on the internet; so, forgive me.
The Beginning of Therapy
Today, I typed several drafts! If you plan on pursuing email therapy, as per the above paragraph, there are some things you need to consider. Firstly, DO NOT address the email. If you have a burning need to address the email to somebody because you’ll feel better, address it to yourself or a friend.
I cannot stress not sending or addressing it to anyone enough – trust me, I know the consequences of eating humble pie. Several things happen if the recipient gets a “ranty” email. At first, they might get defensive, and an email war ensues. You could be making a career-limiting move, undermining your credibility or getting fired. At best, you may make a point, and the person realises the stupidity; this is rare and usually happens in movies.
Secondly, after you’ve written the email and decided not to delete it, you need to park it in “drafts”. Once you’ve parked your draft email, email therapy doesn’t end there. The third activity is to walk away, preferably leave it parked in drafts for a day and reread it tomorrow.
This last step of waiting is a crucial part of email therapy. I’m a fire sign, and I react like someone flicking drops of petrol (gasoline). That’s right, I spit, crackle and hiss with words. So, I need time to recompose and redirect my hissing. Trust me; it’s not always easy!
When it comes to waiting, I try to persevere until I’ve spoken to the person. By the time I’m in a position to talk to the person, I’ve calmed down sufficiently not to hurl insults or use passive-aggressiveness. Most times, it ends up a miscommunication. Let’s face it; we’re not always able to convey information clearly, especially when we’re under pressure.
After the Wait
If I’ve managed to clarify where the stupidity or frustration came from, then it’s “all good”, and I go to my drafts and delete the email. On the other hand, if the frustration is still from a lack of information, it’s time to reread your email and embark on the next phase of email therapy.
By this time, I’ve cooled down, and the spit and crackle have disappeared – mostly. Rereading the email is a good way to gauge just how frustrated I was at the time. The reread allows me to correct the emotional content, make the email sound more professional and less career-limiting. 😃 Once the heat’s removed, I can safely readdress the email and send it.
Note, if the email is to someone high up in the office hierarchy and I have a manager, I try to send it to my manager. In my case, my manager is intelligent and level-headed and has a way of diffusing any explosive content I may have left in the email.
Likewise, if one of my direct reports sends me an email communicating something they would like to pass on, I can assist with diffusing because I’m not close to the experience.
In conclusion, I am writing draft emails to myself and waiting until the next day is soothing. This form of email therapy works for me. Note, I sometimes type it up in a word processing document, in Mac Notes, TextEdit or Notepad – they’re safer when I’ve encountered a cup of stupidity rather than a few drops. 🔥
Today's Cards
The Cards - Email Therapy Analysis
Carryover Cards
One card carried over from yesterday; The Source moved from Others’ Views to Future Energy.
Cross
Thunderbolt (Now) is about a significant shift; this is what I’m going to attribute to the external ranting of my frustration; that is, email therapy “step one”.
In the Distant Past, a service I’d built was hijacked and conflicted with its intended purpose. Developing this service created a lot of Stress with its elements finalising in their Totality in the Recent Past.
Hence, the service’s Completion influences today’s Thunderbolt. Admittedly, my Goal with the service was miserly keeping it to a minimum, and since it was our team’s to own hadn’t expanded it to meet alternate requirements. Alas, The Miser’s appearance in the layout.
Fortunately, Future Energy has The Source and indicates a resolution founded on the root cause for the frustration. It looks like there might be something I’m missing, and the email therapy has been worthwhile.
Base
I don’t like feeling frustrated or annoyed with someone, and confrontation is such a stressful pursuit for me – unless it’s on the sports field.
The other good thing about email therapy is that it allows me to clear my head and clarify what I want to say with the added benefit of blowing off steam. After several rewrites, the only thing left is the Feeling that I’m Letting Go.
Others’ Views are that I’m fully aware of my circumstances (Consciousness).
Alternatively, Hopes & Fears has me shackled with Guilt. I fear I’ve done something and communicated too much to people in the office about my frustration; thus, spreading unwarranted rumours. On the other hand, I hope I’ve said just enough not to feel Guilt. Only tomorrow can tell.
Finally, Politics is in the Outcome position, and it doesn’t surprise me. Until the situation resolves, I’m going to be treading tentatively. Of course, by the morning, I will have calmed down and will contact the person involved. That’s the next step in email therapy and my least favourite one. So, what I do sometimes is to check with others first before getting involved. Ah, Politics.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Tarot Layouts per month
SEO – It was a tough afternoon because I had to employ “email therapy” to manage my frustration. Our team’s purpose-built item got repurposed.
